2025 Season Review, Part 2 (Winter and Spring): Fourteen Shows Down, Got 10 More to Go

By Tom Briglia

Wanganeen match-winning mark

WINTER

What did it mean to be a St Kilda supporter in the depths of winter in 2025?

I spent the spare time in my final weeks of pre-parenthood working on my sad, dour, uninspiring dream pop (very lol) and also more seriously exploring my long-held ambitions to produce a 2005 season highlights video (very, very lol). For some strange reason one was never made by Sports Delivered (they then went on to decide to not produce a full-length one for 2009, with the club scrambling to arrange a half-arsed, poorly produced version that does a half-arsed, poor job documenting for what was all intents and purposes the club’s best-ever season), which prompted me to buy every 2005 game on DVD at the Sports Delivered closing-down sale. I have this silly ambition to produce a season highlights video perhaps for the same reason I write this long-winded garbage – we see our lives through the prism of St Kilda. The 2005 season was arguably a more remarkable journey than 2004 and some of the club’s best days took place in 2005, taking it all the way up to leading in the final quarter of a Preliminary Final (for the second year in a row). It was a formative year for me personally, 16 going on 17. A lot of life was happening to me. This year was the 20-year anniversary and I had succumbed to nostalgia. There wasn’t much to hold onto in the St Kilda present.

See, the late May Sunday night dinner following the West Coast game may have been the saddest meal consumed since the Zack’s Pizza I shared with Richie and Evan at Glen Orme Avenue after the 2010 Grand Final Replay (that was a reflection on what had happened during the day, not on Zack’s delicious woodfired pizza). But in the winter of 2025 there were just the fucking days and the fucking weeks of being a St Kilda supporter, just existing in the bitter Melbourne cold at some dumb time of the week like 10am on a Tuesday or 2.30pm on a Wednesday, nothing to really revel in from the weekend (maybe some Nas chat), not much to anticipate the weekend coming (probably just Nas bits), confronting the fact that you are living a rebuild. This is where you are. This is your St Kilda reality.

Ross and Nick Riewoldt have talked over the years (including in the current Ross stint) about committing to a goal – “a cause to die for” – without guarantee of success. It’s one thing for a single season to spin off its axis, it’s another entirely to step into an entire rebuild not knowing if you and the whole thing might be flung into deep space without getting your hands anywhere near the cup. The last tilt barely registered as a tilt; it yielded an official fifth place in the more heavily impinged COVID year. That was what Billings over Bont and Paddy McCartin over Petracca and Hugh Goddard and James Frawley amounted to. There are kids growing up with this as their identity as St Kilda supporters. I have been relatively fortunate (or unfortunate, but you know what I mean) in my St Kilda-supporting life. I have 1997 (some of my St Kilda-supporting peers have 1991 and 1992, and some Moorabbin memories). I have the 10-year span of back-to-back GT and Ross eras that included 2004, 2005, 2008, 2009 and 2010. There were periods of optimism, from years to months to weeks to days to fleeting moments. I can still remember them (but they are long, long ago). What does the generation of Saints fans coming through now have? A couple of Jack Steven highlights and a weird Elimination Final win at the Gabba in front of 10,000 people?

Ultimately, I also have the weight of watching my Dad waiting to see his first St Kilda premiership (he was born in 1963 and thus has no recollection of 1966). That weight gets heavier by the year; it became heaviest in the icy Melbourne days in the middle of 2025. There is a critical mass of St Kilda fans who haven’t seen a premiership; there is a critical mass of St Kilda fans who have parents who haven’t seen a premiership. In the canyon of another rebuild, while we were questioning what this is all for and whether we’ll actually live to see It, my daughter Ivy was born on Sunday, June 15th at 9.52am, just a few days after the Saints copped another pantsing from her mother’s Bulldogs in the Round 14 opener. Ivy’s first game would be Collingwood vs St Kilda, the official ordering of the 1966 Grand Final. “Welcome to the Saints IVY” beamed her A4 membership card, purchased six weeks before her birth. What’s my legacy as a supporter to my newborn daughter? Maybe it’s not so much legacy as intergenerational footy trauma. My Mama – no follower of the game by any measure – had knitted her an all-time horizontal candy stripe outfit with a beanie. Ivy’s Mum may be a (very casual) Bulldogs supporter, and we have an intensely-loved Aussie bulldog Ralphies, which could sway her west, but I think St Kilda might be her footy fate if she follows the game. 

I think about the experiences my father wishes he would have with me. We never saw a premiership together whilst his father was still alive, and we’ve shared many a harsh footy experience. Of course, I would love for Ivy to follow the Saints; I would love to see a premiership with my father and I would love to see a premiership with my daughter. The St Kilda Football Club has been a constant in Dad and I’s, and Dad and Matt and I’s relationship. Gracie and I actually chose Carlton vs St Kilda at Princes Park in Round 10 of the AFLW for Ivy’s first game – we have had friends at Carlton’s AFLW team for some time (and Darcy designed this year’s Pride Round Sherrins) and the Briglia family, which settled in Carlton in the 1900s, has historical links with the Blues, so it seemed the most appropriate setting. Ivy saw a fantastic St Kilda win by the girls.

What might Ivy see in her St Kilda-supporting lifetime?

***

Winter began with a funny, fortunate win against Melbourne in Alice Springs. Ross had said during the week they want to be “the best Saints ever”. These would-be best Saints ever got out to a 38-7 lead. They took just 17 seconds to go end-to-end. Hill to Boxshall to Sharman to Mitchito to Max Hall. It was fast and it was daring and it was working. I actually missed most of the first quarter scrambling to get everything home from Gracie’s baby shower. Butler on return (four majors close to goal) hit 2020 areas. I managed to get home, get everything sorted, and get settled on the couch with a bag of Proper Crisps just in time for things to get tight. St Kilda should have gone end-to-end again but Mitchito ran in and missed. Isaac Keeler, for the first time, looked like he belonged, but then dropped an easy ball on the goal line. Jack Carroll bobbled the Sherrin 20 metres out in front and got snagged holding the ball. Nas was doing his best to pull apart the field and bend the game to his will, and Cal Wilkie was doing everything he could to get in the way of everything at the other end, but Melbourne went on a run of scoring 4.7 from 15 inside 50s. Inaccuracy was the only thing denting the Dees’ momentum, and therein was the kicker: by game’s end, St Kilda had weathered a remarkable peppering of the goals from Melbourne that yielded the Demons 7.21, including 0.8 in the last quarter (and 1.12 for the entire second half). Isaac Keeler kicked the sealer and finished with a fun novelty mini-bag of three (three qualifies as “fun novelty mini-bag” in 2025).

It was the bye week, into the Bulldogs on a Thursday night – just in time for possibly most valuable player in the game Sam Darcy to return to football against, of course, the St Kilda Football Club. Jack Sinclair was the highest-rated half-back in the game on some metrics, and was playing his 200th, but all the noise and Saintsational speculation was about Nas’s (non-)signature. Daisy Thomas floated on The Agenda Setters that he might be St Kilda’s best player since Nick Riewoldt. Roo awkwardly responded that Jack Steven had won four best and fairests.

But…you know. You know.

It was that kind of year in which every week is a last chance to keep the pulse of your season going, but the missed targets and shanked shots at goal are really all just part of an inevitable march towards somewhere between 12th to 15th (and deep down, you know that, too). On the Thursday night, the Bulldogs mauled us, again. It was just the whole 2021/2022/2024/eight weeks earlier regurgitated (the 2025 margins were 71 and 72 points respectively). Bevo had done us over again. Nas – trying to make something happen – pulled the trigger a few times, and a few times it just didn’t come off (specifically, was turned over). One of those games with not much to take out from. The faint silver lining was that at least we’d got the inevitable 12-goal loss over and done with so we could make the most of our precious weekend (i.e. become a parent).

There were just 20,508 there to see the game. Caro questioned why St Kilda crowd numbers were so terrible. Gerard asked if Saints fans had lost the faith. We were the club so small and so insignificant that we were the ones Collingwood was playing a home game at Marvel against. 

All told, by this time I’d felt disconnected from the club, the accumulation of now a 14th season post-Ross 1.0 wandering around on the Road to 2018 Nowhere Specific. Where was any of this going? The social media team are usually fantastic but have never really indulged my Fable Singers and jumper chat (Morrissey sigh). I felt bored with St Kilda. Like an important part of my life that had been there for a long time wasn’t really there anymore. Wheeling out a whole lot of senior guys to play uninspiring, slapstick footy when another season’s effectively over was wearing thin. Ball movement between the arcs was sometimes ok I guess? Find a forward at the end of it if you like.

Matt was so optimistic still that he texted Gerard on the Monday. Gerard read it out on air: “I do see the hope as a Saints fan. I’m hard-pressed to believe that Owens, Phillipou, Nasiah, King, Tauru, Travaglia, Wilson, Garcia, Keeler and Windhager don’t provide a nice base to launch off over the next few years. If Wilkie, Sinclair and Marshall can keep supporting them nicely they might even see some success before their time comes.” I thought Matt was being way too kind to this horrible, cursed timeline, but I did appreciate that he could see anything at all. Kane was still being rude about keeping receipts on St Kilda finishing bottom four.

***

It was time for the Flying Viking.

Collingwood vs St Kilda at Docklands did end up being a fight worthy of higher billing than 1st vs 14th. Alixzander Tauru on debut took one fun mark and gave away a fun 50 metre penalty when the game was done. Windhager doggedly tagged Nick Daicos but Daicos had his moment, kicking a class snap goal under heat in the last quarter that broke the game open. The Collingwood fans had just moments earlier begun the “CO-LLING-WOOD” chant: it was as if they had willed the goal into existence. St Kilda has rarely had a truly intimidating or at least raucous home crowd in the post-Moorabbin era: Aisle 29 is important. The eventual percentage hit saw St Kilda fall to 15th, below Melbourne in 14th, who weren’t even playing that weekend. Before the game, Pou was borderline in tears, head in hands, with a flare-up of his calf issue in the final moments of the warm-up. Why. Why was he out there in the first place.

We had the Freo game in Perth a week later looking how we wanted it at three-quarter time – 39-16 at clearances, doing another number on their highly-rated midfield. A 16-point lead early in the last when Snags saluted from the pocket, and the Saints players celebrated like we were the ones who had just broken the game open, but this would be one of those rebuild games that you let slip; a two-steps-back in developing the trust with the supporters. One of those rebuild games where you shit directly into your St Kilda away shorts as the home crowd bears down on you in the last. St Kilda made its own chances; it blew its own chances, from the leaders (Mason Wood hit the post twice from his two shots) down to the younger guys (hard to pot Garcia and Hall too hard for this – both played very promising games, and Hall kicked a great long goal on the run from outside 50, the most non in-a-St Kilda jumper thing since Paddy Ryder).

The takeaway, however, was that we finally got to see the Alix Tauru that some said in the lead-up to last year’s draft was being considered by North for the number two pick. He confirmed his place as the most exciting high-flying St Kilda blonde since the last one – an equal club record-high 14 spoils, flying locks and a catapulting, cartwheeling body that was the light you seek in dark days of rebuilds (Max Hall isn’t a high-flying blonde but over the past six weeks, he had moved to the ninth-highest rated player in the competition, according to Champion Data).

While Nas was starting to throw up some proper stats (and not sign a contract), it was Tauru Season. Someone at marketing worked hard and fast and RSEA Viking hats were everywhere in the crowd the following Saturday night for the Hawthorn game. The newfound Scandi enthusiasts saw Alix execute a huge holding-the-ball tackle early, as well as Windhager straight-lining everything and gaining territory the way he would have in juniors, as Matt said. They also sampled some of The Agenda Setters-christened “Bayside Butchers”’ finest cuts: efficiency going into forward of just 50.9%, and that’s before the inaccuracy at goal. In the best moment of the night (and really, one of the best moments of the year), Tauru channelled Michael Gardiner (same spot, different direction) with a flying mark across an unsuspecting pack in the forward pocket, before missing from close range. After getting within a point of the Hawks in time-on in the second, misses from Hall and Nas and Cooper, a dud kick from Wood, and a miskick from Marshall amounted to the ball going straight up the other end to Ramsden for a goal that took the score to 3.10 to 7.6. A pressure rating of 246 (I don’t know what that means exactly) for fuck all; Hawthorn shat out a couple of goals and comfortably held the Saints at arm’s length for the rest of the game. A Marshall set shot goal after the siren was a tease for what could have been.

Tauru’s single mark set off a small storm of goodwill.

“Lose the Battle, win the war”, trumpeted The Age. Michael Gleeson was sold after 12 quarters of football:
“St Kilda lost the Battle but might win the war. Losing Josh Battle to free agency they gained Alix Tauru with the pick. Alix Tauru gives every indication he will end up a better player than Battle, but that is only the icing on a list management cake. For where St Kilda were at losing a regular key back in the short term to bring in an elite tall for the long term was the crucial thing. For where Hawthorn were at, Battle was a good free pick up.”

Dan Gorringe would take a bullet for him. Garry Lyon said he’d never been as taken by a young player before (and made rippling positive sounds about St Kilda’s youth core). An “excitement machine”, Roo called him on The Agenda Setters. The Agenda Setters suggested he might be the next “NRoo” (but if we’re talking St Kilda blondes then Tauru flies more like Barker). (Meanwhile, quietly, Max Hall was the AFL Players Association’s Unsung Hero; and statistically, he was the highest-rated player over a four-week block.)

People were scratching together a week of living and trying, barely making it through Monday-to-Friday battling a cost-of-living crisis and trying to stay on top of their taxes, in a tinderbox of social tensions while multiple wars and the threat of the world falling into autocracy hovered above, just in the hope they would see an explosion of blonde locks from The Flying Viking (side quest: Max Hall CBAs). Alix won the mark of the year nomination for the round. He was already a Stock AFL Photo for a Broader Article Guy. “I can’t remember a player coming in and captivating the imagination of a fan base like this guy has done,” Roo said live on Channel 7 before the Sydney game wearing a viking hat.

***

We’d started compiling a small pile of games that we could have/should have won in 2025. A five-point loss to the in-form Swans, who were looking to swoop on a top eight spot, was a really good effort from a Saints team whose season was done in May. Some senior guys didn’t take their moments (again), while there were lessons for Tauru, Hastie, Boxshall, Moose – all the 23 and unders, really (except Nas and Hall, who were Already Good). In the space of three minutes in the first quarter, Tauru tried his chances going across goal and turned over the ball to Heeney, he had a goal kicked on him by Buller, and then he gave away a free kick and another shot on goal. It was those early GT-era vibes of trying to get attached to guys and a team that just don’t know how to win (circa 2002, i.e. giving up seven of the last eight goals in Perth against Freo; the Daniel Wulf game; an inability to kick a goal in the last quarter in the face of the Magpie Army). Learning to trust. Trying to trust, wanting to trust. We’ve been doing all that for 59 years. We’d bottled leads of 16 points in the last quarter and 19 points late in the third in the space of three weeks, while kicking ourselves out of the other. Ideally, we’re winning these games in September in a few years’ time, but to learn how to do that you need to execute your kicks on a cold July afternoon when you’ve been out of contention for eight weeks. I had flashbacks to Daniel Archer in 2011 as the ball headed towards Moose in the final seconds. If there was one player the game hinged on, though, it was Brodie Grundy. He taught Marshall a lesson or few; completely bossed him when it counted, including at the stoppage just inside their 50 where he created Gulden’s match-deciding goal. We weren’t offering a guy at Carlton one of the biggest contracts in AFL history based on the outcome of this game, but…we might have been. 

It was July and the season was done eight weeks ago. Were we past really caring – really past feeling it in our heart – that we’ve let another game slip? Yes, and a higher draft pick beckoned, but hell’s bells it would have been nice to see the young guys orchestrate a win like that. Alas. A long, quiet Sunday night Route 58 tram trip home. Sheeting rain began as I stepped off the tram, forcing me to dash down Hope Street in the dark towards home. I was drenched by the time I got to the front door.

One of those nights in one of those eras.

***

Any encouragement from the young guys coming through on the Sunday afternoon was dismissed by the breakfast shift on Monday morning. Kane was back on our case (“the lack of talent coming through is glaring”). Tuesday’s edition of The Agenda Setters took Ross to task, suggesting that the media was kinder to Ross but on their weird, demonstrably untrue proviso, as per Luke Hodge, that “Ratten had the same list”. Suey Tuey is the worst day of the week and Tuesdays are by far the weakest for footy media, but that was pretty weird. The AFL Daily round table pondered, “Is St Kilda getting too comfortable with losing?”

I decided to host friends and family the following Sunday, so I could share the experience of watching fourth-place Geelong brutalise us.

Down at the Cattery, Nas was our goddamn best player again and pulled off the best St Kilda centre clearance since the era of Hayes/Dal/Montagna(/maybe Harvey too). Nas became just the second St Kilda player to finish with at least 35 disposals, 10 clearances and two goals in a game in Champion Data’s time (pay him what he wants). Only Harvey could claim that before. St Kilda otherwise didn’t get anywhere close to breaking a Kardinia Park hoodoo extending back to last millennium. The Tackle asked when the pressure might begin to be put on Ross Lyon. Roo openly called this all a rebuild on The Agenda Setters after having no choice but to represent the club and its fans and dismiss as “complete rubbish” Hodge’s suggestion the previous week that Ratten and Ross had the same list. Jonathan Brown said the media was “shit scared” of critiquing Ross due to the “Ross Lyon aura”

I was learning (slowly) how to take care of a newborn baby. I wasn’t enjoying footy. It’s about this time you lose contact with the day-to-day rigmarole of the mid-2020s footy media crunch. Sam McClure saying the start time of the Grand Final was “embarrassing” might have done it for me in 2025. I’m out for a walk in the streets of Brunswick West with Ralphies on a modest mid-winter Melbourne lunchtime and I audibly exclaimed “FUCK OFF” when I received a push notification from the AFL app (“BLUES’ HUGE CONUNDRUM” on July 17 set me off). See, the thing is, I don’t. Care. That doesn’t make me insightful or special, it’s just that following St Kilda in the Boring ‘20s – and the game more broadly – had become a fucking grind and a nuisance. A fucking grind, and a nuisance. 

Ivy was born into a St Kilda recession. St Kilda had lost 12 out of 14.

The Miracle on the Roof of a Docklands Car Park

On a Sunday morning in July – July 27th – we found a lump on the roof of Ralphies’ mouth. We’d had a brief scare a few months earlier with other lumps, which turned out ok, but this lump was bigger. More sinister. And in a spot that doesn’t give you many options.

My best friend.

I work from home – I have essentially for all my professional life – and Ralpies is close to me nearly every minute of the day. I have walked nearly every street of Brunswick West with him several times over (and a fair lot of Brunswick too). He was approaching his eighth birthday. He’s an Australian Bulldog (essentially an English Bulldog, with minute tweaks to handle this country’s climate) so health and life expectancy, unfortunately, can be very fickle. That day, I had again been given the opportunity thanks to extended family and a (very) tolerating wife to go to the footy. Maybe it would shake things up in my mind? I’d hardly left the house over the past six weeks. In hindsight, I’m not sure what I was thinking – I don’t think I was thinking at all – but feeling a bit sick and a bit terrified, I left Ralphies and my new family and the house to go see a late-season dead rubber at the Concrete Dome.

***

“We want to excite our fans and let them see a way forward to get to where we want to be,” Ross said during the week.

At 46 points down at three-quarter time in perhaps our most unexciting, uninspiring performance of the year (in the candy stripe WITH BLACK SHORTS/Alix had kicked a goal), I entertained the idea of going home. I don’t need to be here! I don’t need this! I have a beautiful new child and a wonderful wife at home! I need to make dinner! I need to live my life!

Instead, Matt, Dad and Richie and I decided to watch the last quarter from the bar that looks out over the field from directly behind our level two seats (I can never remember the name, because really it’s three interconnected bars running along the wing; Richie has christened it as The Doorman). I bought a Coke Zero Sugar, not drinking alcohol for the time being. Matt decided to see out his Sunday with a Shiraz (his first ever red wine at the footy), Dad went the Shiraz as well (finest choice of one) and Richie had a Great Northern. The crowd had thinned and the atmosphere had dulled (half of the top level was closed off to begin with), enough that you could clearly hear the audio from the Channel 7 broadcast on the bar screens with a one-second lag from what we were seeing out on the ground in real time. Three quick goals to begin the last quarter to bring the margin to 28 felt a bit cute. At some point in there, the commentary team, led by Jason Bennett and Alistair Nicholson, with Roo and Joel Selwood in special comments, brought up the seemingly comical feat that the greatest three-quarter time comeback in history was 45 points – the Brisbane Bears overrunning Hawthorn at the Gabba in 1995 – and that it might be in danger.

I scoffed to Matt when we heard that. Nice try, Channel 7 producers in the ear of the commentators trying to get the few people at home whiling away what was left of their weekend watching a late-season dead rubber to stay stuck to their TV and generate ad revenue rather than do anything, simply anything, anything else.

Anything else.

Ring them out one-by-one. Snags with a drop punt (lol) from the pocket after good work from Sharman (overhead handball?) and Hall at a disputed ball at 50. Then Tauru got down lowest for a knock-on to Mason Wood, who gave quick hands to Brad Hill against the boundary line for a perfectly executed dribbling goal, which brought the first titillation from the crowd (and from Jason Bennett). Straight out of the centre bounce via Hall to Nas for Cooper Sharman’s first of two very underrated goals in the quarter: a deft pick up and turn and snap on his left from the other pocket. Oliver and Melksham missed shots at the other end (the latter just clipping the post), and Jack Steele stepped up with a strong contested mark with his left arm at near range and calmly slotted the captain’s goal. Mason Wood floated across bodies at near range (Max Hall inside 50) and went back for a sure finish. Sharman’s second for the quarter: a strong overhead mark on the arc, the wheel-around and blast from 50. Snags took a (what was most likely touched) mark from a sharp Nas entry and was dumped, got the 50-metre penalty, and motored all the way into goal.

Five points.

Melbourne forced the ball forward. A rushed behind put things in hard mode, then Oliver got the fortunate bounce but couldn’t score at all to put the margin beyond one goal.

Six points.

And then, one minute and three seconds of play that may have changed the course of the St Kilda Football Club.

A centre wing throw-in, Windhager got his hands on the ball and handed to Mason Wood, who took the space and launched long into the forward line, to an airborne Nas, rising between Fritsch and McVee, and reaching, reaching, reaching and taking the ball at full height in front of the members. He quickly rose to his feet and turned his back on everything (goddamn took his time about it btw), and on a near 45-degree angle, so, so calmly nailed the set shot (straight through). Alister Nicholson used up all his good lines because it was scores level – sort-of close enough to match-defining – and there was only eight seconds of play left, so not enough time left for anything else to happen. Either side of the kick he pulled out a stilted “he is utterly unbelievable” and then yelled “Nasiah, the Messiah”.

By this time we had come back out into the crowd proper and into the seats (but it was hard to sit down). The noises of celebration for Nas’s goal quickly turned to murmuring about how much time there was left, and then for the quirks and quarks whirring around in the middle of the ground: the comical, calamitous happenstance of Melbourne giving up a free kick for a second 6-6-6 infringement, and the entire ground running into St Kilda’s forward line only to be told to reset for play to proceed, and having to run all the way back.

Nas, at the centre circle, took control of the moment.

He quietly, quickly hatched a plan with Rowan Marshall and told one-third of the field to move over and get out of his way once play restarted. The free kick was formally given, Nas was off, and Marshall perfectly executed a pass just inside 50 to the space where Nas had sprinted – the space that had been left open as one-third of the field followed his orders and moved to the left.

The single frame of Nas taking what was a very, very, very good mark going back into the unknown perhaps encapsulates more about the game, about the moment and about Nas more so than the frame capturing his incredible leap just a few moments earlier.

Ross was laughing in the box. The siren sounded. Any score was needed to pull off the greatest three-quarter time comeback in the history of the VFL/AFL football.

From 48 metres Nas so, so calmly, calmly, calmly kicked the goal of his life.

An entire St Kilda team, in the candy stripe with black shorts, celebrating as one in front of the members, jumping up and down, to the sounds of The Fable Singers.

***

The football world celebrated St Kilda through the deeds of Nas.

“He established himself as a St Kilda legend today” said Roo, who had gone full nuffie in the Channel 7 commentary box in the final minute of the game. (Never mind the new rights agreement set-up allowing Fox to have their own coverage for Channel 7 games: the Channel 7 broadcast is the definitive historical document of what transpired. Jason Bennett signalling to the commentary box to remain silent after the siren, let The Fable Singers play and let the broadcast breathe was brilliant.)

The 7 account posted a large graphic that night simply declaring, “Him.”

The deeds dominated the front and back pages of the Herald Sun: “the 55 second fuck it plan now etched in footy folklore”. “What Nasiah did may be the greatest minute of football ever played in terms of clutch ability,” Kane said. The Age broke down the entire last quarter. “Let him write his own cheque,” Nick said. Nas got three votes in the GVP. AFL360 went all out with a fantastic montage and discussion leading the Monday night edition. Nas got the 10 Coaches votes. THE YOUNG MAN DID NOT GET THE THREE BROWNLOW VOTES. HE DID NOT GET THREE BROWNLOW VOTES. He won a Lexus from Footy Classified for individual performance of the year. Nas had told Seven after the game he just told the forwards to get out of his way. “He’s got that dog in him,” Joey said. “We knew he had the talent, but I think we’ve now seen the development that he wants to be ‘the man’ – that special X-factor and quality that all the champions have in them”. Nas was “surging” up the ranks of the Herald Sun’s Brownlow predictor. Nas was in Mick’s Multi. On the way in to the game, arriving at Southern Cross Matt’s train driver had fortuitously signed off with “Good luck to the Saints fans. Hope Nas re-signs cause we are effed without him”. Some – specifically, Dan – would fantastically tell you Nas was the chosen one; the chosen one to break the curse over this cursed club in this cursed timeline.

And all of this over a dead rubber.

This game was categorically a dead rubber, featuring one has-been and one might-not-ever-be-in-the-first-place. It was a glimpse of what the Saints could become, maybe. All the best of what we’d seen since Ross came back, all that had made us believe there was talent on this list and good foundations in place across the club that could make it successful, that could make it challenge for that second premiership, packaged and presented in 32 minutes and 41 seconds. The 2025 season didn’t need to have a moment like that. Footy doesn’t work that way. Sometimes a season is just generally fucking humdrum. Up until then, the season’s signature moment was set to be the loss to West Coast. Nas’s heroics – and the support in that last quarter from Hall (again, quietly: he’d had the most goal assists by a Saint in eight years), Hastie, Wood, Windhager and Sharman – made for a generational night in which you’re just scrolling your way through it all on Twitter and replying to messages from and sending messages to people across a bunch of different platforms and you’re still getting back to all the messages the next day and maybe the day after. It meant nothing, this game. Maybe a swap of who gets what pick in a heavily compromised and weak draft, and we were keen to give up whatever that was anyway for a certain Gold Coast midfielder anyway.

But this is now part of St Kilda folklore. As the Herald Sun said, this is now part of footy folklore. It belongs to the game as a whole.

St Kilda saw itself differently. We saw St Kilda differently. The football world saw St Kilda differently. St Kilda – in the candy stripe, with black shorts! – were winners. St Kilda was capable of doing something that had never happened before. St Kilda, once the owners of the very unwanted record for biggest lead ever given up, now claimed ownership of the greatest three-quarter time comeback. St Kilda had the most electric player in the game. Fuck it, in that minute of football, St Kilda maybe had the best player in the game. For a few days, Nasiah Wanganeen-Milera and this team did what hadn’t been done for 15 years – St Kilda was fashionable.

This was something real you can daydream about. Something that brings you into the now and makes you look forward, rather than lose more time to thinking about alternate endings to the 2009 and 2010 Grand Finals. Is it healing? Is it something to open the portal and take you into a better timeline?

I had the crowd noise of those final plays ringing in my ears all the way home on the 58. I got into the house and as I immediately tried to find the words to explain to Gracie what the hell had just happened, she told me Ralph was okay. He was absolutely fine – the lump on the roof of his mouth was just an incisive papilla, a very naturally occurring part of the canine anatomy (and yes, we’ve had it checked out since to be sure!). I had had the thought of losing my best friend whirring in my head all day. My entire head had been whirring all day. All day.

We watched the last quarter. I took in everything I could on the timeline, I sent messages and received messages and sent replies. I went to sleep with Folk Bitch Trio’s new album-closing lullaby “Mary’s Playing the Harp” in my ears. Ivy’s first win. Ralph was ok. And next time you go to the footy and watch St Kilda, something – something great – might happen.

***

Nas was dancing atop Ross’s shoulders at Hotel Brighton for fuck’s sake. He had become the player to build a generation around, in a game to build a generation from. “This is now his team,” Hutchy said. “Nasiah Wanganeen-Milera is the hottest name in football right now” said Tom Morris. Nas was being talked about in the same air as fellow 2021 super draft draftees Nick Daicos and Sam Darcy, and then just generally as a top-five player in the game. “Inside 2025’s hottest trade race” Fox Footy beckoned readers. He was “King Nasiah”, he was the Messiah. Who’s Messiah was he, exactly? “I wonder if he sees the legend he could be at this club and think ‘I can’t leave now’,” Kane surmised. “How beloved he is, could he leave now? Why would he go to Port? I hope he stays.” Emlyn Breese, in their eulogy for the tenure of Simon Goodwin, wrote, “Nick Riewoldt provides commentary as Nasiah Wanganeen-Milera annoints himself as the heir to St Nick in the St Kilda mythos with two last quarter goals”. He was, in that moment, the next in line at Moorabbin.

But we needed him to, you know, actually sign a contract with the St Kilda Football Club.

***

St Kilda has had some great wins in games when finals were out of reach, or simply not realistic. Plugger’s 11 goals in the 1994 comeback game against the Swans at the SCG perhaps had sat atop that pantheon; with bottom-of-the-ladder St Kilda’s 56-point demolition of top-of-the-ladder Carlton in Round 9 of 1995 – keeping the Blues goalless until well into the third quarter, and to the lowest score of the entire season – probably next (knocking off both second-place Geelong and then second-place Richmond two weeks later in Rounds 15 and 17 respectively weren’t bad). There is also the Barry Hall after-the-siren win in the last game of 2001 over the Hawks (a very underrated comeback in its own right), which formalised the union of GT and the Riewoldt generation. A stirring win in Robert Harvey’s 350th against the high-flying Eagles at Subiaco in 2007, on the back of a four-game losing streak was a remarkable way to pay tribute to one of the club’s greatest. Honourable mentions go to the final round of 2013, when Grand Final-bound Freo Ross rested everyone the Saints farewelled Kosi, Milne and Blake with a 71-point win, the 18th-topping-second trouncing of Freo a year later, the 2016 three-point win over ladder leaders Geelong, last year’s wins over the ladder-leading Swans and the parting gift of 2024, Snags’ hooking, hooking winner (also in the candy stripe) in the final seconds of the season.

We won’t know until we know, but this might be the best – and most consequential – of the lot.

***

St Kilda reverted to being a frowned-upon club by…winning four games in a row.

For three quarters against Melbourne, and for most of all of the quarters against North Melbourne, Richmond and Essendon, the Saints Footy of the Boring ‘20s was back. 

Only the clock running out saved our blushes in the spluttering win against North (in front of just short of 32,000 people – Nas was worth 10,000 on the week before). Max Hall’s goal after the final siren from a 50-metre penalty was our only goal of the last quarter. Another (very) dead rubber, but a percentage of the football world’s attention was on St Kilda. And we needed to prove to ourselves that what happened the week before wasn’t a total one-off, an incredible sequence of freak occurrences contained entirely to that quarter of footy. That what happened the week before meant something. That it did mean a shift. It was important we won all of those four games. It minted a vibe shift on the field, it minted a vibe shift off the field as noise about TDK and Liam Ryan and Leek Aleer wanting to come to the Saints became louder.

“The Saints won the match but football lost a bit of its soul,” said a dismayed Gerard Healy after the win the following week over the Tigers. Not one team had challenged the opposition less with direct footy in a game as the Saints had in the MCG Saturday afternoon scrap, Hoyney said. Short, non-threatening kicks to the left, short, non-threatening kicks to the right, anywhere and everywhere but somewhere dangerous. Just eight goals to seven for the entire game. A Ross 1.0-type slog. On the day that Jack Steele played his 200th game, Cal Wilkie shored up his numbers to be the next captain.

And then shit kind of hit the fan?

Originally, it was via Michelangelo Rucci doing Port Adelaide’s bidding for Nas, saying on SEN SA that Cal Wilkie wanted out of the Saints, TDK’s mega-offer was shunting out Rowan Marshall, and Windhager and Steele were looking elsewhere. Then Sam Edmund took over The Agenda Setters set and declared Wilkie “disillusioned” with the list management of the football club. “The easiest way to get Nas out of that football club is [playing] football like that,” Luke Hodge offered. People were back on Ross’s case: “How he has gotten away with this, and how all the Saints fans and the mafia are buying into this and drinking the Kool Aid is like nothing I’ve ever seen,” Kane said. “I thought he let his club and his fans down today,” he said after Ross cracked the shits with journos who had in the mid-week presser asked about player movement rather than anything to do with the on-field business.

We sought reassurance and the inside running from our St Kilda fanbase general The Saint. When your on-field season’s done by the end of May, apparently the fate of an entire rebuild could be played out through misinformation carefully placed by SEN SA and the cursed everything app timeline as much as on the field. Stavr04 could also reliably provide some lucidity.

St Kilda was out of fashion again. St Kilda was on the nose. Andy and JJ asked Saints fans what they wanted to see from the comedically scheduled Friday night game against the Bombers. JJ suggested it shouldn’t be bothered being played. “they should just cancel it tbh” Matt texted me. GA tickets were $7 under dynamic pricing. Gerard opened his show with a monologue about the precariousness of St Kilda’s list position. Hodgey then ran the ruler over the list. Nas still hadn’t signed. The Midday Madness chat on the Friday turned to Brownlow medallists who had left their club immediately after (Graeme Moss left Essendon for Claremont at the end of 1976, but no one had leapt to a rival club in the VFL/AFL in the same year). Gerard Healy said he’d gone from 98% sure Nas was staying to 60% in the space of an hour. “The pressure is clearly mounting,” Damo said. Mark Bickley wondered if the week would have a galvanising effect. 

Not quite. On the Friday night, St Kilda stumbled to a two-point win over a lowly, wounded Essendon, in a game that came all the way down to Mason Redman’s long drive just fading to the left. Ross had been feeling good enough about things before the game to post on Twitter for the second time in 10 years. St Kilda had now won four in a row, by six, nine, four and two points. But everyone was fretting over Nas’s choice of words – specifically referring to St Kilda as “this club” – on 7 in the post-match. Bad vibes or maybe he’s just not that polished a media performer? He’d provided what was probably the sole highlight of the match – a centre bounce takeaway that turned into two bounces over a sprint and a goal from 50 – and there was now simply nothing else to talk about. Mitch Cleary was barracking for the story. The Espy was barracking for Nas to stay. From fifth in the Trevor Barker to top five in the competition, Joey reckoned. Tony Shaw suggested, “If they lose him now, it will go down in history as one of the worst things to have ever happened in the history of that club.”

***

For St Kilda supporters, Mondays in mid-August have become something of a day of reflection. The final round of the season beckons, and it’s time to think about the year that was. Barring just two years since 2011 (the end of Ross 1.0), St Kilda’s season has been done by that final round.

On an early afternoon in mid-August, it happened.

Just after 1pm. Perhaps the most important off-field moment of this generation of Saints happened at just after 1pm on a Monday in mid-August. One of those dry, matter-of-fact AFL app push notifications simply stating that Nasiah Wanganeen-Milera had made a decision on his contract. Cal Twomey was the journo who broke it, a day after Will Poulter suggested Adelaide was the front-runner, six days after SEN suggested a significant fallout was threatening a mass St Kilda exodus.

Two years.

Nas had signed for two years.

A reprieve. 

See you all soon for another dance, really.

The St Kilda membership site crashed after the club made available a special Nas-themed membership for 2026. The Espy hosted a party – 6pm at the public bar for anyone who really wanted to make something of their Monday night.

By Ross’s own effective admission, this was the most important day of St Kilda’s year. “Catastrophic”, he told The Agenda Setters, would have been the result of Nas leaving, and the rebuild would need to have been recalibrated around his departure.

Fuckin’ hell.

There was another vibe shift for the Saints in 2025. Another day of something going our way. And not just that – not just some fluke. The club had drafted and developed this player and built an environment in which he wanted to stay (however briefly). Ross told The Agenda Setters, “We’re not a club that’s going to be walked over.“Nas deal proves the gloves are off for unapologetic Saints,” the Herald Sun trumpeted. Andrew Bassat told News: “There is no risk-free way to win a flag and there is no way to win a flag without offending people.”

“If we are going to die, we are going to die with our boots on and not be scared to have a go. That is what we are about as a football club.” 

It was a day for Nas, the quietly-spoken smooth mover, to be narrating pump-up videos (unconvincingly and awkwardly and modestly). “I felt like I had unfinished business at the Saints,” he said on accepting an All-Australian blazer a month later. The club itself called him the Messiah. Eddie said his signature saved the season. No journos bothered turning up to Ross’s Friday press conference (literally).

People were happy for St Kilda again.

But it’s only two years. All the while, St Kilda was coaxing chronically injured Jack Silvagnis and possibly-past-their-best Liam Ryans to Moorabbin in the hope of going up the ladder ASAP to entice Nas for a longer stay, perhaps at the expense of putting in the sturdier building blocks for sustained success. This is the stuff that got me worried. Are we fast-tracking a rebuild after one freak quarter of footy and three tepid wins against bottom-four teams? We need, like, four or five guys that are Nas-tier. Not just one. Do we have those guys on our list? We have one (Nas, obviously). Do we have the guys who will become that tier of player on our list right now? Right now, we’re building an accelerated tilt around one person who can quite easily, quite soon create a “catastrophic” – Ross’s term – outcome purely for the very possible and very understandable wish of wanting to be closer to family, friends and home.

Then the fuck what?

***

All that was left of the season proper was for Darcy Wilson to kick five goals and have 23 disposals in a gutsy 11-point loss to GWS. It wasn’t quite the jubilant trip down Champs-Élysées on the final day of the Tour, but Darcy made a welcome jump back onto the world line we thought he’d be on through 2025, which had turned out to be a real second-year blues escapade. Nas cramped in the last quarter and it looked like he’d done his knee and my god, the beer garden at the Victoria Hotel was a tense, bordering-on-sad place to be for a few moments. I’d even worn my HoMie jumper and dressed up Ivy in Mama’s outfit to celebrate the end of the season.

SPRING / SUN / WINTER / DREAD

“St Kilda fallout explodes,” boomed Channel 7.

Rowan Marshall had spoken with the Cats, it was reported in early September. Maybe this exodus from Moorabbin could materialise, maybe clickbait rules the world.

A whole year’s worth of scuttlebutt and rumour and daily episodes of Gettable and breathless non-stories on the Tuesday night editions of The Agenda Setters and voyeuristic tweets and BigFooty posts and the Magpies cheer squad singing the Saints song at a Collingwood-Carlton game converged on the Friday following the Grand Final.

All on the same day, our list manager’s son joined the club; so did Ross’s Dan Does Footy couch buddy TDK; Ro formally requested a trade to the Cats and our captain was told to welcome opportunities elsewhere. St Kilda had brought “absolute spice” to the trade period, supposedly. Gubby Allan touted that the club had “plenty of money” and “we’ll go hunting again next year”. Kane said we were relevant again, Scott Lucas compared us to the famous North Melbourne raids of the 1970s when the 10-year rule was briefly in play. There was no short supply of media coverage and analysis of what the club was doing, or trying to do, or might be at risk of doing (there still isn’t). Gubby said it again: this all wouldn’t have been happening without Nas re-signing.

Sam Flanders, who can only be associated with one cultural reference forever, joined the midfield after being wined and dined at Scopri, with Marcus Windhager elevated to Pitch Dinner Attendee Guy as he himself signed a four-year deal. The club is confident enough to back its coaches and its systems to be able to pry out the best of a player’s previous form and more, and Flanders had an excellent 2024. Injuries kept him behind an A-list midfield in 2025, and he gets the chance to become an A-lister himself. Now, Kane liked the look of our midfield. Josh Jenkins said the Saints should get more prime-time slots. Ed Bourke suggested that if Max King was in 2022 shape we could give the top four a crack. News of a backflip on Leek Aleer did momentarily bring back scorn for St Kilda; it was briefly on-trend to dunk on the Saints again and Josh Jenkins was again having a great time.

“Recruiting aggressively as we have, no doubt involves a degree of risk … (but) there is no risk-free way to a flag and indeed, doing nothing is the greatest risk of all,” Bassat said at the Trevor Barker.

Ro’s talks with the Cats gradually broke down. Wilkie went as far as meeting with St Kilda’s former momentary director of coaching Luke Beveridge, but he stayed, too, and for all intents and purposes is the next captain of the St Kilda Football Club.

Because Jack Steele, firstly, relinquished the captaincy, and then was traded.

I’ll just put here what I tweeted on the day of his 200th (lol, definitive):

For some people of a certain generation, like Scar, he was their captain, their peer on the ground in red, white and black. He is who they saw carry the team when they were old enough to properly appreciate them, but still young enough to be looking up to them. He is who they saw carry the team at the peak of a failed rebuild (perhaps the darkest of all times). Mildly mannered (except when it came to tackling opposition players) and good for the occasional strong mark inside 50 and captain’s goal (see the Miracle at Concrete Dome), he was once the subject of a rumour that Ross Lyon told him on his return to the club he was an “8 out of 10 captain”. I believe that all St Kilda players have been playing in a space that is in the shadow of those who made up the Riewoldt generation, and none more so than the captain. Jarryn Geary was given an impossible task of taking the reins from Nick, and Jack Steele was handed the culmination of the Road to 2018 (derogatory) and was perhaps a little reluctant to take this whole business on in the first place, but he gave it a 10 out of 10 shot.

***

Author of The Bubble David Misson left the club and Ross basically took over the whole thing, as he unofficially may well have months (years?) ago. Hugo Garcia was used as a “plays like” reference on draft night(s), which came and went with Kye Fincher levels of fanfare after the first round pick was traded for Sam Flanders. St Kilda has its own VFL team now. Meanwhile, the candy stripe was promoted to being the clash jumper for 2026. In the club’s stated supposed attempt to honour the 1966 jumper in the 60th anniversary year of the premiership, the club introduced black cuffs to go with a white collar on the home jumper, but by taking out the traditional black box (the most distinctive part of the ‘66 jumper) they’ve literally just made the jumper worn for a small part of 1995.

***

At the end of the trade period, Kane stated: “If I am a Saints fan I have got hope.” 

Expectations for 2026 are high, from some anyway. The club went from 12 losses in 14 games to aiming for 85,000-plus for a home game in Opening Round and a non-zero number of pundits have floated the possibility of top four. (The fixture in its entirety wasn’t quite box office, but it included one more home game with hopes for 85,000-plus than it usually does. A crowd of that size would smash St Kilda’s own record for a home crowd in a home-and-away game in its by-then 153-year history.)

I have to ask again: Was this all based around one lightning strike in July? It couldn’t have been based on the three meandering wins in the following three weeks, right? I don’t know if now is the time to go full top-up. There are some echoes of the 2000 recruitment spree that netted Gehrig and Hamill (as well as Capuano and Callaghan and Stephen Lawrence), which brought a great mix of experience and youth, but that was really built around the picks 1 and 2 national draft punch of Roo and Kosi. And there is no dual Coleman-medal winner in this lot of recruits. Perhaps because maybe he’s already on the list. He’s just kinda injured forever, though.

SUMMER

Summer is for pre-season training shots of the fellas looking fit. Summer is for The Age leading the entire online publication with Jake Niall’s look at St Kilda’s finances. “Saints said they wanted to get off ‘welfare’ but accepted extra AFL cash,” the headline thundered. The story went up quite some time after the annual report had actually been released, and The Saint was there to straighten some things out.

Summer is for the consitutional path to be cleared for Andrew Bassat to have his tenure as President extended. Summer, like all seasons, is for Max King to have more knee surgery. “Expected to be back in full training in January,” oh yeah sure. Summer is also for the nation this is all taking place in to feel like it’s coming apart at the seams.

***

“We’re 14 shows down
Got 10 more to go.
Ten more to go.”
– Folk Bitch Trio, “Mary’s Playing the Harp”

Fourteen years since Ross left, and we’re still waiting for our next great period. St Kilda fans use the words “great” relatively; only the Jeans era delivered a premiership. Fourteen years since that first Ross era came to an unceremonious and infamous close. A watch of the 2010 Season Highlights DVD with Matt on the eve of the Miracle at Marvel over a few drinks brought back peak Ross memories and feels, not that they’re ever far away: how often do you replay the final moments of the 2010 Grand Final, but with small changes that make it go our way? Small changes that mean an entire different existence as a St Kilda supporter; that mean the entire world?

We all need to “take the emotional risk to give everything without any guarantee”. We all need “a cause to die for”. It’s well past time for this club to step out of the shadows of the Riewoldt generation. It’s time for the supporters of this club to have something to move on to. Something else to believe in. The club is unapologetically making a move. The club is telling us that the somnambulistic winters of 2024 and 2025 were the darkest moments to be endured before the dawn. Is this actually the dawn, or have Ross and SOS and Gubby and Bassat just stormed into this padded cell and slammed the surgical lighting on?

We’re learning, trying, wanting to trust a new team. Commitment to St Kilda can be scary! There’s a King who can’t get on the park and there’s a baby GOAT who can’t get on the park and there’s some new guy coming off a sub-standard year who we’re paying nearly more than anyone in the history of Australian rules football, and another guy who’s really awesome but might not be here for that long (and who we’re paying more than anyone in the history of Australian rules football). The Nas deal was “the most significant signing since Baldock” in 1962, but let’s face it – he’s signed for two years. We’ll be doing the dance all over again before we know it, all the clickbait and the speculation-as-fact and maybe just outright lies-as-fact in articles and tweets and SEN SA dross, and this club had better sort its shit out in the meantime if it wants to get through the audition.

Again, the specific term Ross used was “catastrophic”. If the club savages this attempt to challenge, that 60-year premiership drought could easily become 70.

***

Melbourne ran a festival of unseasonable late-autumn sunshine. I was sitting in the car on Toorak Road in South Yarra with Mum on the way to Mother’s Day lunch at Mama’s. A quite pregnant Gracie had run in to Mecca to grab some Le Labo Rose 31 Eau de Parfum courtesy of a voucher. St Kilda had played Carlton at the MCG on the Friday night. Mum is always across the Saints and watches them most weeks, but that was the first game Mum had actually been to since we’d sat next to each other in Round 2 of 2016 watching Nick Riewoldt run out for his 300th.

The St Kilda world had been up and about following the stunning takedown of Freo the previous week. “What will my Mum think of Saints Footy in 2025?!” I wondered. I’d excitedly told her to look out for Nasiah Wanganeen-Milera and Mattaes Phillipou. But it ended up being a dirty night on the big stage. Simple mistakes – balls slipping through fingers and into faces, balls kicked weirdly into open spaces, balls kicked directly into nearby opponents – let to an ugly loss to an unfancied opposition. Losing in front of your home crowd. Another Saints season was on the brink of failure. 

While Gracie was in Mecca on that Sunday, I was getting Mum’s take on all things St Kilda. Friday hadn’t been a good showcase of anything, really. She wasn’t overly thrilled.

I, a grown man about to turn 37, childishly asked her, “What’s it like watching the Saints without Nick Riewoldt?”

“It’s not the same, darling,” she said.

“It never will be.”

2025 Season Review, Part 1 (Summer and Autumn): Love Takes Miles

By Tom Briglia

“Love takes miles,
Love takes years.
You’d better start a-walkin’, babe.
Love takes miles.”
– Cameron Winter, “Love Takes Miles”

Getting truly attached to this club again has been dreary fuckin’ going.

Fourteen years long, three failed coaches wide (including one who at the time had coached the second-most games in the club’s history) – now onto a fourth – and just two very also-ran finals series to show for it. After “A Year of Exploration” in 2023, and an unofficial year of exploration in 2024, in 2025 we were set for…another year of exploration. (“And his…chamber pot.”). 

“Rebuild”. It’s called a “rebuild”. After all of that.

Expectations for St Kilda in 2025 were – how to put this? – low. Everyone talked about Richmond, North Melbourne and West Coast as the clear bottom three. And according to everyone’s ladder predictors, going into 2025, we were the next thing. Richmond, North Melbourne and West Coast – and then us. The next thing was us.

Pre-season wasn’t kind. Max, Sincs, and Mason all went down in the same early February training session, but scans came back clear enough to have them each in the frame for round one and our 2025 outlook was upgraded from “bottom four” to “bottom six”. I’ve been paranoid about Max doing his knee since he did it after kicking 8.5 in the first game of his Under 18 year, and in the time since there’s been a whole lot of other body parts (and, uh, knee parts) to have worried about. And he ended up missing the whole god damn thing in 2025. God damn it, man. God damn it.

No sooner had SEN published its absurd off-season power rankings (St Kilda 12th because why the fuck not/they fucking nailed it), more training reports emerged that Pou was on crutches, Dougal’s shoulder had exploded and Caminiti and Nas had left the track, which led to an injury list the next day featuring a Pou stress fracture (12 to 14 weeks), Dougal (longish-term, probably) and a Marshall pelvis (what?). Hunter Clark appeared on the injury list because that’s his address. So we were set to start the season without arguably our best (or perhaps most important) player and then arguably our…next best player? Pou was for all intents and purposes meant to be Guy of the Year in 2025 but he was now set to spend the rest of his life battling shin splints or something. It was around this time that I accidentally posted a work social media post to the RWBFooty account. There were…things on my mind (i.e. Pou missing from the team photo). 

The one thing going for us in the pre-season was the confirmation of a big, beautiful set of jumpers which, really, you could potentially never change (this probably won’t happen for retail dollars reasons) and it would always functionally work. There is a red-based one, there is a white-based one, and there is a black-based one, which means all potential clashes against every team are covered at least once over, and each of them have strong historical ties. (Save some room for more glorious 1915-1918-inspired red/yellow/black jumpers for Sir Doug Nicholls Round and the set is complete/St Kilda wear a replica of the 1919-1922 red/yellow/black jumper challenge: Impossible.) Since I stopped doing the weekly match reports on this blog (for the time being I will only be doing finals and these too-long season reviews), the RWBFooty Twitter account has descended into mostly a footy jumpers and The Fable Singers account and I was ready for another massive year of the club not engaging with me on either. “Is it because I don’t do enough memes? Not enough pieces to camera?” I have asked previously and am once again asking. Maybe the club’s Twitter account just doesn’t function that way anymore. The next time the 2018 horror cover version of the club song is used I’ll just email the club directly again (Editor: This, in fact, ended up happening in November.). I will one day post my 2019 dissertation that I sent through to Matt Finnis (who indeed responded, and took action) for public consumption on this blog: my legacy, if there is anything at all in this, lol (Editor: The club actually sent me back a really positive response to my November correspondence. I can’t believe it.).

***

Pre-season came and went way too fast. It all goes too fast, always. I completely forgot about Jack Macrae. The Saints played the Blues in the unsponsored practice match at Princes Park, just a convenient short drive from RWB’s Brunswick West headquarters. There was that panicky mid-February feeling: I just can’t be fucked with another season, but possibly I was just too hot and I couldn’t fucking see anything from where Matt and I were sitting. I looked around at the players and thought, “Who the fuck are these guys?” but after an 11-point win I left the ground feeling way too optimistic after what was really just some February Saturday morning runaround in 36-degree heat and training jumpers. Hugh Boxshall, Max Hall, Hugo Garcia, Harry Boyd, Travaglia’s last quarter running goal from 50, Liam O’Connell’s proof of existence. “Maybe we have…something?” my February mind pondered. Lol.

That lasted all of a week. There’s something egregious about allowing Port Adelaide to come play at Moorabbin. Or maybe we just needed something ceremonial to cast rid of the weird demons when it comes to all things Port Adelaide and St Kilda (and all things St Kilda, really). The whole exercise could only be described as “not good” – smacked 6.3 to 0.1 in the first, one solitary goal in the first half, Mitchito hurt his shoulder. There were no Red Rooster red shorts this year, consigning them to the novelty bin alongside the Pura Lightstart yellow clash (I was fond of the 2003 version with the red piping; the rumour of the BigFooty Footy Jumpers and Graphic Design board is that we’ll be wearing a version of it in Gather Round next year). Kane Cornes effectively suggested we were just prepping everyone for a horrow show and tipped us for bottom four (he decided to shirk taking on SaintsTV face-to-face on this). Tobie’s goal a week earlier in front of 50 people was going to be the highlight of the year.

***

Sometimes, your worst fears come true. You’re running late for the for the first game of the season, racing across town from Brunswick West to Elsternwick in sheeting rain and wind on a hot and steamy day and by the time you find a park in Ripon Grove Matt’s texted you “We are toast.”, and a few moments later you walk through his front door and it’s 12 minutes into the first quarter and you’re four goals down and the game, and the season, are gone. We should have worn the candy stripe (but no, seriously, we should have worn the candy stripe instead of the red hot cross bun for a more effective clash). Adelaide Oval is the best place to begin a St Kilda season if you’re a fan of slow starts and soul-sapping losses.

Jack Macrae instantly became our best player, Nas picked up from his 2024 form, Max Hall kicked 2.2 on debut and gave one away, but otherwise, who were our…players? A step-slower-than-everyone Harry Boyd played a one-and-only game for St Kilda, joining a modern-day pantheon that includes Will Johnson, Jackson Ferguson, Daniel Archer, Fergus Watts, Colm Begley, and Jack Peris. Evidently, we also should have avoided all contact drills during the pre-season so we could field a forward line that wasn’t just Anthony Caminiti and a 25% fit Rowan Marshall. Jack Steele looked fucked, emerging briefly out of the shadow of his best-on-ground opposite number Jordan Dawson to engage in some ho-hum push and shove with Tex. The showing from the team, on the whole, was meek; players swept aside by an opposition starting out on a journey to bigger things. After the 63-point loss I got back to my car on Ripon Grove and was greeted with a $109 parking ticket (I didn’t see the 2P sign). This had all happened on the back of an exhaustive and very kind feature piece about the Saints by Josh Gabelich on the eve of the season, but we instantly became so irrelevant that the 63-point loss didn’t even qualify for AFL360’s Round 1 Horrors segment. I spent more than four-and-a-half hours on the Monday night on the toilet in my dim lamp-lit bathroom (both our downlights were blown) prepping for a colonoscopy and a gastroscopy the next morning, watching that night’s editions of 360, On the Couch, new hour-filler The Agenda Setters and Footy Classified back-to-back-to-back-to-back on my phone. The future was here, it was dark, it was shit.

We could surely not pull off four years in a row of defeating Geelong on a Saturday at the Concrete Dome. The Cats had spent their previous weekend demolishing Fremantle and we’d spent ours apparently grounded at Tullamarine. We would have needed a combined 141-point swing to break even with them.

Anyway, St Kilda won.

St Kilda hung on more than St Kilda won, but St Kilda won. St Kilda’s primary activity in the final quarter was hanging on, by the class of Jack Macrae and the guts of Liam O’Connell and the lunging fluoro orange boot of Nas. A 41-point lead first-half had been created from the most scintillating Saints footy since the early running of Ross 2.0, attacking the footy at the source with manic Ross-esque pressure and feeding the ball forwards – and good finishing in front of goal, something never associated with the Saints, and certainly not against the Cats. Zak Jones and Darcy Wilson on the wings, Windhager scragging and tagging and kicking goals, Caminiti taking 13 marks in defence, and doing those confident short field kicks usually only really self-assured defensive generals do. It didn’t look anything like what was attempted in the pre-season matches but something had clicked.

But just before half-time we gave up two goals. Over a drink at the main break in the ground’s New Hospitality Experience behind level two (which was much better than the cold winds and portaloos and smell of faecal matter of the previous year) I said to Dad that I didn’t trust this team to hold on. Not yet. I hadn’t seen enough from this group. This young team would surely tire, while perhaps not knowing how to defend against the bigger bodies and class of Dangerfield, Atkins, Holmes, Cameron, et al. Two early third-quarter St Kilda goals pushed the margin back out to 41 again but there was the inevitable run-on, a gauntlet thrown down from the Cats. The wall of Geelong supporters at the Coventry end reached what for all intents and purposes was a penultimate crescendo with Brad Close’s goal out of mid air to bring the margin within a kick with just a few minutes left – only for the ball to be taken from the centre bounce set-up back to the goal square as the replay on the screen showed Nas’s boot had got there first and last. (It wasn’t the last time in 2025 that Nas was the protagonist of a dramatic late-game centre bounce happenstance.) St Kilda had just enough resolve to hold out from there.

During the final quarter, in our new Row C seats on level two just in front of Rory, I thought about how chained we were to Geelong fucking us over. Sort of. There is something about the Cats and the Saints in the 21st century. Yes, I understand we won the 2004 NAB Cup (hehe) and Round 14 of 2009 and the 2010 Qualifying Final and had a fun win in 2016 and now four entertaining wins in a row at Marvel, but they have the 2009 Grand Final, for good measure, Round 1 of 2011 (the beginning of a nightmare comedown), and a win streak at their own home ground that now extends to 26 years. But ultimately, they have the 2009 Grand Final. That’s where it starts and ends. You’d trade it all. (RWB piece not mentioning 2009 or 2010 Grand Finals challenge: Also impossible.) As Ollie Dempsey and Max Holmes got to work in that final quarter I genuinely had the thought: will we literally just never have another day or night where you can excitedly catch the Route 58 tram home taking in everything on Twitter, and the Ross press conference and the highlights, and then get home, and you simply can’t wait to put on the Kayo Mini, or maybe you start with the whole second half, or go straight through the whole game, depending on the time? Do we just never have that again? Are we condemned to the peak of our St Kilda supporting lives being the period from February 2004 to early on the Saturday of October 2nd, 2010, and then just nothing really ever happens again?

What did that win do for your expectations for 2025? Last year we lost Round 1 and then defeated the reigning premier at the MCG by 15 points on a Thursday night in Round 2 – also featuring a Marcus Windhager PB – which had David King saying our premiership window wasn’t far off. He was much more measured in his short-term outlook for the Saints following this year’s edition, although went as far to saw it was “one of the great coaching performances for a long time” from Ross, who had just extended to 2027. Before the game, over schnitzels and dunkels at The Hof, we’d caught up with long-time-sufferers Jim and Sonia. As if the season were starting this night proper, Sonia said she had “so much hope” but didn’t know where it was all going to go. Dad reminded Sonia that she’d said the exact same thing to us all just a few hours before the 2010 Grand Final. I admired her optimism as we were about to face a team that promised to pants us. A hell of win it was. The standard had been set.

***

Early-season media is particularly fickle. It was one of those weeks where everyone was on the Saints. Macrae, Snags, and Sinclair were all in the SEN team of the week, and Ross was the coach. Kane loved it. So did Nathan Buckley, who even mentioned Ryan Byrnes and his role as a defensive winger, of all the things Bucks could have said directly into the SEN studio microphone and broadcast across Melbourne. Josh Gabelich talked about Jack Macrae being the bargain recruit of the year. Caminiti was in the Unheralded column. Zak Jones got a vote in 360’s GVP, putting him closer to a $93,000 Ford Mustang GTV than everyone on the St Kilda list and 99% of the competition. Corn suggested St Kilda would be the ideal environment for Jamarra. (However, we still couldn’t win without giving away a record-extending Rising Star nomination.)

Conversely, everything else wasn’t in top shape, and footy season again gave us something else – whatever that might be or might look like for you – while the world burned. We were living in the time of Nero, some were saying, or possibly Romulus Augustus. Does a 2029 premiership still mean as much if the world has descended into a hellfire of autocracies? I will raise this question every year until 2029, or whenever the second St Kilda premiership arrives, if ever. However, watching Mason Wood announce that Tobie would be debuting during the next week, I felt just the faintest nanosecond, maybe millisecond of…optimism? (March indeed.) Nothing puts a big, dumb, goofy smile on my face like feel-good Saints videos. So much of clubs’ identities are wrapped up in their social media content (or am I just stuck in a bubble?) and those kinds of moments are necessary, all told. It was a big few weeks for haters of social media generally: the new TV rights deal kicked off a somehow circle-jerkier coverage of the game, Harry McKay being out for personal reasons dredged up some dog shit from way too many accounts, and there was the general elevation in nastiness that comes with a federal election being called. 

If Round 14 of 1998 against the Bulldogs was dubbed the Grand Final in June then the (sadly) last-ever Maddie’s Match against the Tigers was supposed to be at least a Preliminary Final for the number one draft pick, Seth Campbell’s somersault-backflip and the Saints clinging on against the Cats be damned. As far as the jumpers go, Maddie’s Match would have peaked in 2020 with the purple hot cross bun, if not for COVID shipping delays. We never did get that purple hot cross bun in the end, nor a purple candy stripe. Sigh.

So, just like in 2024, a more winnable game to follow Round 2 heroics and get a 2-1 start on the season. Richmond presented as the perfect St Kilda Football Club Banana Peel Game. An eight-point lead at half-time wasn’t convincing but a 14-goal second half was. Mitchito kicked four, picked off a couple of fun snaps close to the boundary line forward pockets on both his right and left and bowed to the crowd, and could have had a fifth in the final moments but gave off to a lively Collard instead. Steele was a late out with a mystery knee but Jack Macrae took himself to the top of the competition for disposals, Hugo Garcia was busy in the middle in his just two-thirds of game time and Tobie looked physically ready. Sinclair and Nas had 19 score involvements. No team had scored more from turnover in the previous 10 games. Changing the angles going forward (basic footy stuff!). Great movement from those ahead of the ball. Everyone was dangerous. That old kickers and catchers connection was being made. The average age and games-played difference between the sides wasn’t actually too far apart, but St Kilda carved up the very green Tigers. Collard nearly brought the house down with a winding solo effort through 50. Sharman and his low, piercing set shots were back, Mason Wood kicked three. Max Hall was busy again and kicked a nice set shot from outside 50. When was the last time a Saint did that? (It was actually Mason Wood earlier in the game. Before then? Probably Mason Wood some time also recently, but you get the idea.) The biggest St Kilda winning margin in 10 years. “Eh, dunno,” Ross said afterwards. The win against Geelong was “one of those games”, and this was also “one of those games”, but a different type of “one of those games”. Fun to have the margin is at its highest at the end of the match, too.

Dad and Matt and I sat at Platform 28 afterwards taking in the song again, and again (and again), with a “Mason Wood” chant thrown in. We giddily talked about Max to come back. Butler. Pou. Liam Henry. Tauru was set to play VFL the following week. The kind of optimistic chat you can only get between father and sons when it’s this early in the season and maybe anything could happen. “I’ve never seen a premiership won in March,” Matt then exclaimed as we watched over the Hawthorn-GWS and Brisbane-Geelong games. We caught ourselves rewinding the conversation. There was a silence between us amid the Platform 28 buzz. 

“It’s still March,” I said, as if the point needed driving home. 

Footy’s a pretty tough caper, though, and sometimes you just have to give yourself moments to believe in something.

The light won’t shine forever, but it is now

The club and its supporter base felt like it was having a good moment. Gerard acknowledged as much to Andrew Bassat on the club’s SEN supporter day on the following Tuesday.

“We’re moving forward as a football club,” Bassat said.

“Enjoy the journey. And I promise you it will be an enjoyable journey.” It wasn’t quite Malcolm Blight’s “get set for the ride of your life” but it was an encouraging vibe all the same.

Ross was at The Agenda Setters’ desk. Kane said the next night he was “compelling”. Ross was pressed on culture. “It’s just a common set of observable behaviours you see on a daily basis.” Done. Next. Cheers Ross. The Richmond performance earned the attention of One Percenters and an in-depth piece about our ball movement (it sits among the absolute best analysis of how St Kilda actually plays Australian rules football).

And so we ran into Port Adelaide. In Adelaide.

We had a comical history to confront. These moments of rebuilds are about meeting those challenges and changing the narrative. Creating new stories. St Kilda had beaten the Power once in 14 years, and had a 6-26 record since 2001, alternating between close losses and rightful smashings (even when we were good, in the GT and Ross years, they gave us grief). From the 2004 Preliminary Final epic, through to that horrific night in 2017 – which may be the club’s high-water mark of everything awful about the post-Grand Final Draw era – through to giving Ken and Port their signature moment in 2024. The last five losses to the Power had been by 13, one, seven, 10 and two points.

This time, we were coming off two great wins and they were coming off a dirty night (albeit with a 10-day break) against the Bombers. Who better to inject some life back into their season than the St Kilda Football Club? But Dwayne decided to just jump to it on the Monday and declare that he thought the Saints would win. We were Gerard’s D-Day on Wednesday’s 360. “They come up against Port who have frankly terrorised them.”

St Kilda had had two weeks that suggest they are more than what they hinted at coming into the season, he said.

“There is no reason why St Kilda shouldn’t march into a ground where they have no happy memories at all and really put it to Port Adelaide.”

“And should they win, they will flip their narrative entirely”

Joey said on First Crack it was time for the team to flip the script. Scar was confident. Call it a vibe shift. In this cursed timeline, it was time for this team, in this rebuild, to take a step forward. Perhaps ahead of its time: a read of Jake Niall’s stocktake of the entire competition’s lists in The Age on match day morning was sobering reading. St Kilda were in “rebuilding” mode, it declared. Not yet even in “building” mode. We were coming up against “no man’s land” Port. By game day, Richie expected a five-goal loss. Rory said a belting or a small margin loss, in keeping with head-to-head form. I felt it was going to be the latter. We just needed to see how it would happen so we could have the footage archived and have the stats and numbers all recorded on AFL Tables.

What we got instead was a 6.4 first quarter – a club record for the ground – which built the foundation for a 31-point lead nearing half-time. Mitchito started hot with a couple. An unlikely midfield led by a Bulldogs discard was outworking and outmuscling its much higher-fancied opposite line. Liam Stocker wasn’t afraid to polaxe another opponent at the risk of concussing himself for the second time in three weeks, and his commitment ultimately ended up with Nasiah’s glorious give, get and goal from 45 metres out on an angle. Pay him what he wants.

Port inevitably pushed and pushed, carried upon the shoulders of an irrepressible Jason Horne-Francis, while Mitch Gieorgiades went about compiling the early parts of a season in which he’d finish in the top five in the Coleman Medal. Windhager had the tag on Rozee and did a decent job, although was a “clown show” with ball-in-hand, as Matt described it. Couldn’t Ross just fucking tell Windy to make sure JHF doesn’t do anything, and not worry about doing literally anything else?

But every time Port pushed, we shoved back. Hastie’s desperate smother late in the third turned into Higgins darting through defenders and curling through his third off his left. The Power rallied again in the last and Lord and Giorgiades sickeningly got them within five points with eight minutes left. They’d kicked five of the last six. They were kicking to the Robbie Gray end. We were about to create a new method of losing a close game to Port Adelaide. I was just scared. Usually I’m just resigned to a dumb close loss to Port, but I was just scrunched up in the corner of my couch being scared.

It actually didn’t feel like they’d had excellent days (the final numbers suggested otherwise/what would I know) but it was Nas and Sinclair who combined for the first of two game-winning moments. With the stadium and the weight of history bearing down, Nas from the boundary at high half-forward directed a slightly-too-cute kick inboard to Sinclair, just outside 50, who took it in his stride and blasted from just inside the arc.

“SIN-CLAIR,” James Brayshaw boomed from the 7 box.

“A FLYING HIT.”

Never mind an Isaac Heeney swing to the right – the ball sailed through for a goal. A celebration to the stunned Port Adelaide crowd. Macrae stood up in the last 10 minutes. He was leading the midfield anyway, but stood up like someone who had been there, done that. He forced the ball forward and Collard – who had had a few really good deft-touch assists – then took his own big moment, plucking an overhead mark close to goal, and, after some wise words from Hill, Wood and Garcia, converted from around the corner. Ross was smiling in the box in the last minute of the game, and he clapped the players as they came off the ground.

It was a good night to be a St Kilda supporter. A win you’re proud of. The homemade burritos were just that much more delicious (the El Pato jalapeño sauce really popped.). Shae said it felt like “the rollercoaster is heading in the right direction”. Ross was coach of SEN’s Team of the Week again. Snags was in the forward pocket, Sincs was on the back flank, and he’d moved to the top of the Coaches Votes. Gerard opened with St Kilda on the Monday show. Nathan Buckley ran the ruler over the whole thing with Gerard. “The breaking of these jinxes is the surest sign of growth and progression.” We were Dwayne’s best win of the weekend. Lance got his face on the front of the Herald Sun.

Caroline Wilson then broke the story on The Agenda Setters that the club had agreed to pay out the players – namely Barry Breen, Alex Jesaulenko and Bruce Duperouzel – and the families of coach Allan Jeans and Trevor Barker, who had accepted payment of 22c in the dollar in the early 1980s to help a club in crippling debt and on the brink of collapse. It was a painfully long time coming – both financially and as a gesture to those that went a way to saving the club. Ultimately pushed over the line by Bassat and Carl Dilena, it produced a rare moment in which St Kilda felt like it was in good shape on and off the field.

The Saints were 9-3 from its past 12 games, losing only to Adelaide and Brisbane since July 2024, and had beaten two of the previous year’s Preliminary Finalists in three matches. At this point of 2025 St Kilda was third in the competition for points for, first for scores per inside 50, fifth for points for turnover, third for points from stoppages, and sixth for marks inside 50. Ross was proving he indeed could coach an attacking, free-flowing, fast-paced team, and a young one at that. For three weeks, anyway. Ahead of Gather Round, Ross gave an upbeat and entertaining interview on Fireball Friday. Tom Morris said the Saints were “sexy”. News filtered out of Carlton that Tom De Koning had paused contract talks and was looking towards Moorabbin.

But Kane wasn’t swayed. He was a “hold” on his own pre-season prediction that St Kilda would be bottom four. He maintained on the Monday, simply, “They’re not good”.

***

The rollercoaster was about to take a devilish turn. Platform 28 was in for some quieter nights. 

On the Sunday of Gather Round, at Australia’s skinniest oval, St Kilda ran into a hardened, big-bodied, premiership-tilting GWS. We kicked the last four of the game to tease a funny hint of a comeback but the lead had blown out to an impossible 50 points early in the last. The Saints were made to look silly. Darcy Wilson and Mitchito kicks were turned over and punished hard on the transition. Jake Riccardi took a barely-contested mark close to goal from a floating Jake Stringer ball that had gone high enough to give everyone on the field time to make the fall. Toby Greene walked around opponents on multiple occasions. Jesse Hogan casually took a towering mark. There were some OK signs – Cooper Sharman kicked three, and Nas boosted his new contract by $250,000, hitting targets and creating movement ahead of the ball (classic Australian rules football!), kicking three goals, adding “guy who kicks goals on the run from outside 50” and “lead-up forward” to his repertoire. He would have had an all-timer fourth from a dashing solo run, but the kick just faded to the left. We threatened to threaten in the last, and then faded out all over again. It wasn’t going to be four in a row, and we went 0-2 for Sunday games viewed from Matt’s place. (However, we were going to go down looking arguably the hottest a St Kilda team as ever looked – wearing the 1873-1876 jumper with a 20th century white collar in place of the handkerchief donned by the first-ever St Kilda teams, with a vibrant pairing with white shorts.)

Another step on the journey and another lesson (or few) learned. That was the level. We weren’t at that level. That was what we needed to evolve to and evolve beyond over the next few years. For the moment, we had to show what we’d learned on Easter Sunday night against the Bulldogs.

We got fucking pantsed.

We ended up copping (or, you could also say, “allowing”) the two highest-rated individual quarters of the season in back-to-back games, from Toby Greene and the returning Bont. It was the way Gerard said “You need your stars when Pendlebury, N. Daicos and De Goey combined to steal back the lead late in the 2023 Grand Final. We just didn’t have any of that. Our star power had banged up shoulders, or had a dodgy knee, or had a stress fracture in their femur. Our leaders – never mind “stars” – were anonymous. On the rare occasion Jack Steele was sighted he was labouring like an injured captain past his peak, a man who’s premiership window has closed. Since 2021 the Dogs had been consistently making a mess of us. Jon Pierik in The Age went as far as to say that we’d blown another marquee time slot, this time the Easter Sunday night (I’m still surprised that 35,000 turned out). He was right; the release of the 2026 fixture showed we’d been replaced by Essendon (who had also replaced us in the Pride Game this year). We were now zero from three for Sunday games watched at Matt’s place (fortunately, the food he’d put on had been sensational).

We gifted the Bulldogs moments and storylines. Liberatore’s rundown chase of Brad Hill (“That’s one of the highlights of the year” according to Garry). Bont’s return on Easter Sunday. A heroic win after Sam Darcy went off early with what looked like a serious knee injury. The Port Adelaide game had felt like a portal to a different world line; this felt like the portal back. We lost by 71 points and the Dogs had hit the post six times. Thirty-five to 11 inside-50s at half-time, 69 to 31 inside 50s at game’s end. The Concrete Dome didn’t play The Fable Singers version of the song when the Saints ran out. Just as quickly as St Kilda had become chic, red, white and black was out. Kane had kept his receipts, and pointed us out as a reason for the Blues having a soft opening draw for the first 15 games. Max King now had the worst contract in football.

***

Max was headed for more surgery. Another six weeks, we were told. The Sandringham alignment, on the record, was cooked. Ross was “practical” about things, and potential next coach Corey Enright espoused the virtues of the club having its own VFL side. And you realise that this is all part a very long-term play. This, 2025, is absolutely not our time. No massive let down there, no massive secret busted open, but it’s still something heavy to tread through day-to-day as a supporter. To prep us for (i.e. soften the blow of) the mighty Lions up next, Ross talked about Max being here for six years and about Pou’s fitness and availability being about the next six to 10. We fell heavily from 3-1 to 3-4, closer to our natural habitat of irrelevance in the post-GT and Ross eras world. Melbourne’s weather began to turn.

Under the heat of the Lions, Nas was missing kicks and dropping marks and went on with it in the second quarter to give up an easy 50 to Neale. Mason dropped a mark standing by himself in the forward 50. Three goals were met with three immediate replies from the visitors, and then some more coming back. Caminiti in defence was looking like a floundering experiment (Hipwood had three early in the second). We’d given up 13 scoring shots in 40 minutes. Inside 50s was running at 29 to seven. Wood missed an easy shot from close range. Logan Morris slotted one from a tough angle 40 out. What were our leaders doing? What was our $1.2 million man (at the time, lol) doing? (Note: he actually had a good second half, kicked a nice goal on the run and added spark when moved into the midfield. Interesting stuff.) There was a shift in momentum back our way, but, suffering the second-year blues, new whipping boy Darcy Wilson missed a shot on the run to make it three in three minutes and bring it back to 16 points. Umpires might have had a hand in a few for the visitors but let’s get real – Brisbane were bigger, harder, faster and just fucking better. They were Kane’s “good”. Pushing our kids around (Hugo – publicly sprayed and subbed off in the second), slicing and dicing their way through the Concrete Dome. No silly skill errors, as opposed to the Saints. This was the St Kilda that everyone assumed at the start of the year would be rolled out week-to-week, the one that had us next in line to the unholy trinity of Richmond, North Melbourne and West Coast. In each of the four losses, at some point during the match we had let the margin get out to 73, 50, 75 and 57 points respectively. Ross Lyon gave “an all-time Ross Lyon spray”. We were now fodder for banter around AFL fixturing mis-steps. Three weeks in a row of scores of 110-plus against. Dwayne’s World asked who of us, Essendon, North Melbourne, West Coast and Richmond would win a final first. How does the team react to that with back-to-back Friday night games coming up?

We had just a couple of things to cling on to, to give us something to look towards. Alixzander Tauru was about to make his debut and Mattaes Phillipou was set to return. But The Flying Viking knocked out a VFL Lion on the Sunday and was whacked with a four-week suspension by the state league’s tribunal – to be served over six weeks to include Sandringham’s byes. Ross went close to his Uber Eats ad performance for the second time in a week and whacked the VFL and the AFL, and in the same press conference said Mattaes only needed to get through training to play and went on praising him for nearly two minutes. Mattaes did not get through training. Going by TheJackal’s BigFooty training report the players were angry and frustrated. The vibes were off. The Bizarro Rivalry would see the Saints elevate Freo on the Friday night stage, all in front of Gerard in the Fox Footy suite. Who was going to come in now and give us something new? Hunter Clark?

It was the week I signed up my yet-to-born daughter up to be a Saints member. I was born in a wooden spoon year, and my girl would also be born into hard times. 

***

On federal election eve, The Age led with an inside look into St Kilda’s millionaire and billionaire backers and powerbrokers, for whatever that’s all amounted to over the past 59 years. That night, we got a response from the players – a Ross Lyon masterclass, consensus would tell you. A masterclass in coaching and planning, which really began with Hugo being subbed off and berated in the second quarter six days earlier. A final score of 94 to 33 – a masterclass in manic pressure, a masterclass in unwavering effort. It was on from the start, from Macrae’s opening bounce clearance. Mitchito went back with the flight at centre half forward and Brad Hill wheeled past and slotted the first. That set the tone. The visiting A-grade midfield was harassed and harrassed and harrassed out of the game. Brayshaw only found the ball 18 times, Serong just 15. Every time a white Freo clash jumper got near it there was someone bearing down. It was Garcia, who pulled off an excellent chasedown of Shai Bolton streaming towards goal. It was Jack Macrae setting a St Kilda record for contested possessions with 25. It was first-gamer Hugh Boxshall lunging that extra inch when the ball was on the ground. It was Jack Steele regaining his presence as captain of an AFL football club. St Kilda won the clearance count 50-22, and contested possessions 151-103. (Jeff White’s First Use did an excellent breakdown of the one-on-one set-up Ross went with on the night).

It was a time warp back to Ross v1.0. A score of 4.3 to 1.1 at half-time, although I was still scarred from the Daniel Wulf night against the Swans in 2002 (which actually happened under GT), and while the Dockers were anchored to all of a total score of 7 at the major break, the 20-point lead wasn’t enough. Remember holding a team to 2.6 at three-quarter time and not winning? This felt more like it would have to be more of an Ross special under the roof like Round 1 of 2008 against the Swans, or maybe we’d need to pull out a Round 6 of 2010 against the Dogs. Nothing of the sort. “St Kilda strangled Fremantle into submission with a performance which had primetime viewers reaching for the remote,” the Herald Sun said (which could have been written about a St Kilda-Fremantle game in early 2009 that finished 116-28. I was barracking just as hard as I was that night for a novelty score.). Like an old-fashioned Ross Lyon rope-a-dope, the game was blown out in the second half. Cooper Sharman had one of his Riewoldt games, echoing the second Essendon game of 2024. He covered the ground and launched high, taking nine marks, and kicked 4.2, including a snap with one duke from the boundary with Josh Draper hanging off him, and he was feeling good enough about himself to pull out the Akermanis celebration. Mitchito in the last quarter flew back and reeled in a mark with one hand, slotted the shot from the pocket and brought out again the bow to the crowd. Caminiti in the final seconds wheeled around on the 50-metre arc and barrelled it through to a celebratory Lockett End. It was one of Those Nights. A good night for trade at Platform 28.

Maybe we could start to see guys who were worthy of Ross. Worthy of the candy stripe. Macrae. Nas. Higgins. Mitchito. Boxshall earning it early. Cooper Sharman maybe? He needs to be that player every week, not just once or twice every 12 months. In the afterglow, Cooper was a guest on Crunch Time. He was at centre half-forward in the SEN Team of the Week (plus seven coaches votes), alongside Macrae (who got the 10 coaches votes) and Callum Wilkie. Players on each line. After being baked by Ross on the bench the weekend prior, Hugo Garcia, a St Kilda player, won the Rising Star nomination.

At a time of tension and division across Australia, there was one thing everyone could agree upon – Ross Lyon was the coach of the St Kilda Football Club. This was Ross. This was the DNA of a Ross Lyon team doing exactly what it intended to do. Gerard and Bucks ran the ruler across Ross’s entire week on The Art of Coaching on Whateley the following Wednesday. The opposition was strangled. We could have been watching a game from the late 2000s. A portal to another time, a better time, a good time. I so desperately hoped that this was the new standard. The Geelong game was one bar; Ross had elevated the team again, in his image. This was the new reference point.

***

It’s about this time of year that the burden of the new footy media landscape and social media and Grandmother Ham ads and SEN talkback callers begins to take its toll. I’m trying to keep up with everything on X but El*n was trying to get the r-word to make a comeback and his algorithm was making it more difficult to prise out nuggets from The Saint and TheSadSainter amongst bot posts of clearly set-up “humorous” happenstances between couples or cars and/or lives getting totalled, and racist accounts that keep asking me “What do you notice?” about selective and borderline pervy street footage from Russia, or trying to generate a conspiracy theory around anything at all because participants in the Creator Revenue Sharing program benefit from the conditions conducive to civil war. I’m trying to keep up with the legends at Chadstone Kia and Dwayne’s pals at Werribee Mazda (or, alternatively, visit your participating Hyundai dealer today), but the soundtrack to my morning walks with my Ralphies gradually went from Breakfast with Garry and Tim and Whateley to Floodlights and Panda Bear and Maria Somerville. I’m tired. I’m about to welcome a newborn into the world (exciting!) and fretting about losing access to functioning human levels of sleep (scary!) and I’m already fucking tired. It’s Round 8. There’s 21 weeks of this shit left.

***

Our third year in a row lining up against a big four club at a home game at the MCG. Carlton’s loss to Adelaide probably shaved a few thousand off the game, which was our latest best chance to break the club’s home game attendance record of 72,669. Our fifth Spud’s Game. Tom Boyd, the man who made us choose Paddy McCartin over Christian Petracca, did the pre-match speech in the middle.

Caro’s piece about Carlton’s 2022 attempt at getting Ross was published on the Friday morning. The Age editors tempted fate and on the main page titled it, “The inside story of Carlton’s failed bid for Ross Lyon, and why St Kilda couldn’t be happier”. I guess TDK would have the final say on that. The build-up felt…big. I was terrified of a very close finish. We were due one.  Shae was more nervy than usual. Squiggle had a four-point win to the Blues. On the tram there I had visions of 40,000 Carlton fans bearing down on us at the 29-minute mark of the last: Harry McKay’s on the lead, Charlie’s got a one-on-one, Jesse Motlop has a break on Jimmy Webster. It did fall that way a little bit in the end.

A packed MCG on a Friday night for a St Kilda home game, hey? And what a come down from the week before. We pissed it away. This was our prime-time, big-stage game and we blew it. If everything had gone our way the previous week against the Dockers, then on this night we let it all literally slip through our fingers. Every extra, more desperate hand that was around the contested footy the week before now belonged to a navy and white jumper. Or, when we did actually get the ball, we were stilted, hesitant, anxious. Brad Hill kicked the ball to weird spaces, both deliberately and accidentally. Cooper Sharman launched for mark of the night on the wing and then booted it directly into his opponent as we made something of a late charge. Anthony Caminiti missed a mark at a critical moment in the last quarter in the forward pocket and the ball hit him directly in the face. Or maybe we just didn’t go at all; Jack Steele, the captain of the football club, got the ball in his hands with four and a half minutes left and a nine-point deficit and just…didn’t do anything“Is it part of the [Saints’] team mantra that there are a couple of players who can use the ball, and everyone else can’t?” Footy Classified asked. Pou on return, though. He wanted it. He wanted to stand up and take the responsibility and win it himself, and he celebrated like he fucking cared. When was the last St Kilda player to celebrate a goal like that (twice)? Nas was everywhere until he wasn’t. It felt embarrassing to lose to a team like that. Maybe humbling is a better word. Couldn’t handle the pressure of a Friday night game on the MCG, hey?

After a Ross Lyon masterclass we were outcoached by Michael Voss. Curnow and McKay kicked three each. Either of them on their own were the difference. Marshall (possibly injured) was battered by TDK but St Kilda Get a Genuine Elite Midfielder Challenge: Also Impossible. Jack Macrae had become the barometer and he and his teammates were borderline bullied at the contest. After shutting down an A-grade midfield last week, talk was of the match-ups coming down to Boxshall and Garcia against Cerra and Hewett. But this is the thing – for a period of time we’re going to have to just sit there and watch the senior guys have off days, and Boxshall and Garcia go up against Cripps and Walsh and Hewett and Cerra and get pushed around. They have to learn. It’s going to look different from week to week. It’s a tough part the of journey that we’re on. It just has to happen and be endured. Nights like these need to be endured. Nights on which you don’t play well and it’s a grind in front of 65,000 (still felt a little light) but you’re still in the game in the final minutes but you fumble and erratically kick and drop and Max-Hall-just-misses-to-the-right your way out of it. Things quickly felt a little desperate. Derm said Max King (still unsighted) should be a backman. Bicks said bring in TDK and explore Marshall’s worth on the market. Losses feel bigger at the MCG. The roar on the final siren and the Carlton song are louder from your St Kilda membership equivalent seats. The trip back to Brunswick West is longer, and you have more time to think about it all; more time to doomscroll St Kilda Twitter your way through it. 

“Every time they lose, the Saints, you can just see the lack of quality,” Kane surmised on the Monday. It felt like the weekend deserved more, that it deserved to be a weekend on which your team won on the Friday night. The weather in Melbourne was on an extended golden run. A friend’s kid’s birthday in the park in beautiful autumn sunlight the following day, Mother’s Day festivities on the Sunday for those fortunate enough. After the weekend-long glow following the Docker demolition, St Kilda had fallen off the radar. The football world had moved onto other things (Dave Matthews wanted shorter quarters to attract new fans in Sydney). By the time the AFL released the fixture for Rounds 16 to 23 we were a footnote, getting a charity Friday night game against the Bombers that would go mostly head-to-head with the more highly fancied Freo-Lions game out west. St Kilda wasn’t sexy anymore. St Kilda was losing followers.

***

“We swim in deep water every week. And there are big sharks every week.”

If you’re St Kilda, a West Coast team that simply can not win a game is a big shark.

This was probably St Kilda’s worst day of the year (or until we saw a Tom Morris Tweet saying that Cal Wilkie actually did want to leave). This disaster should well have been the legacy game of 2025, if other certain things didn’t happen later on in the season. West Coast had won five quarters for the year. This was supposed to be stats and percentage padding, a walk-up start to get back to square on the ledger. Marshall was fumbling everything in the middle. The ball went through Cooper Sharman’s fingers, Mitchito took four bites of the cherry and didn’t complete it. Darcy Wilson got nervous sitting under a high kick. Nas was turning the footy over. There were broken tackles everywhere. Waterman and Flynn stretched the shortened defence. Jack Higgins should have been pushing his case for All-Australian but was down in the rooms possibly with diarrhea. 

Mitchito persisted with his weird ball drop. Three misses. Missed shots from in front, while Waterman saluted from range, and Reid was flushing them from 50. Liam Baker dived across Darcy Wilson’s boot. Caminiti dropped an uncontested 20-metre pass. Hoff (???) kicked a goal. It was party time for the…West Coast Eagles? Higgins returned from the porcelain throne in the last to keep us emotionally invested, to set up the emotionally abusive punchline. 

Of course, Leo’s call that West Coast would win would prove to be his non-kibosh one. As you settled into your Sunday night dinner you could reasonably make the case it was the darkest day in the club’s modern history. This felt like that the rebuild – now into effectively its what, 14th year? – had been set back a few years. That things just might not be working out, between the St Kilda Football Club and itself, between yourself and the St Kilda Football Club. Irrelevant, incapable, incurable. Kane, who had a few weeks earlier said we were “not good”, said we were “sad”. It was a sad fucking state all round. Fundamental Australian rules football skill errors from senior players, supposed star players, all the way down the list. A lack of quality in the line-up. No dog in anyone, except maybe Pou. As a supporter base we were really just surviving on the fumes of his centreing kick to Higgins in the last quarter. We were never, ever playing finals in 2025. Sinclair and Macrae doesn’t hurt you, Cooper doesn’t hold them, Mitchito doesn’t kick straight, Howard, our height down back, isn’t playing. We were ranked “mega infinity ass” by Dan Gorringe. Macrae had a back injury and all of a sudden we might just have the worst midfield in the league, to go with the worst forward line, and possibly the worst defence. The bye a) couldn’t come quick enough and b) presented an excellent chance for a “message from the president”. 

Getting shoved around by a winless team, losing to a winless team. St Kilda would prove to be only side that this winless team would, could beat in 2025.

Snags was second in the Coleman by just one goal for some reason – he was also number one in the competition for overall scoreboard impact, taking in goals, behinds and assists – and earned himself a small Josh Gabelich feature. “Is Jack Higgins the modern day Stephen Milne?” the AFL’s account asked, as Damo, Sarah, Josh and Nat Edwards discussed his “sizzling” form on Round Table. It was remarkable anything generous followed the loss, and what did just felt so incredibly, incredibly hollow. Everything else was a swipe. The Agenda Setters poked fun at the “Bayside Butchers”, pointing out that the Saints were ranked second in the competition for no-pressure errors, fifth for dropped marks, first for getting smothered and first for giveaway turnovers. We were now “easy run home” fodder for teams with their eyes on achieving something special in 2025. The club started posting its Red Rooster Date series with Ollie Geale for some feel-good content for the fans but our season was done and we hadn’t even reached winter.

***

We were the banana peel game, according to Josh Jenkins on the Sunday morning. Gold Coast owed us a few, and a few close ones at that. Dimma couldn’t have come up with a better opposition to face to improve his quaintly dismal Concrete Dome record of recent years. In the other box, Ross broke the phone as the Suns started hot. Going our way were a great running goal from Nas and then a crumbing goal from Sharman (we didn’t have any actual talls or actual smalls, it seemed?) but these were followed by Hunter Clark not taking a clean first possession of a relatively easy ball and the Suns getting the repeat forward entry and a goal. Despite playing a heavily congested game (not quite 2002 Daniel Wulf game levels) Gold Coast was finding openings and pressing ahead into space. A Travaglia 50-against at one end, a Travaglia miskick coming off turnover at the other, and ex-St Kilda pick 25 Ben Long kicked his third from range. Caminiti came up with the most obvious possible insufficient intent known to science. At one point in the second quarter there was 42 to 13 disposals inside 50. “Games of football just exist in our back half,” Matt said. Higgins was unsighted. Windy was on Anderson, who was cheerfully collecting easy centre bounce clearances. The game turned in the third, but the ghosts of kickers and catchers in Richo eras past were raised and the Saints couldn’t execute their simple kicking (and handballing) and catching. A great tackle from Travaglia had Darcy Wilson out and then he completely missed the handball to Hill. Cooper Sharman hit the post twice. Brad Hill ran into goal and shanked it. Nas missed, too. Phillipou hit the post also. Mitchito missed to the left from a free kick 20 out from goal. 1.6 to 0.2 in the quarter. Byrnes botched a handball in space on the break early in the last and then Ben King, who had done fuck-all all day, popped up and took his moment. (Come home, Ben.) We had gone from our worst loss of the year straight to threatening our lowest score of the year.

Before the game, Ross had called the Suns the “AFL’s nepo baby”. The blowback to Ross’s comments showed in part how easily hate for St Kilda could be stirred up. The reaction generally wasn’t very friendly: former St Kilda goal kicking coach Ben Dixon told the club not to “bitch and moan”; “Everyone is whingeing about everything”, Shannon Gill wrote about in The Roar, saying “it plays well for the St Kilda gallery yet trivialises one successful area of growth for the code”. Damian Hardwick, coach of the Gold Coast Suns who are based in Queensland, who had just had a crack at Victorian Premier Jacinta Allan, said St Kilda should “make sure they focus on their own backyard instead of trying to bring everyone else down”, and then pointed out the crowd.

The crowd.

The crowd, of just 13,486, was St Kilda’s lowest-ever non-COVID Docklands home crowd. A team described as “sexy” in April and which should have been 6-4 now had its season over by May, and was playing to a ground with half of the top level closed off (we were one of those clubs now), to its lowest-ever home crowd at its home ground of a quarter of a century. That would probably tell you how St Kilda supporters were feeling about the club after fumbling the Carlton game and then losing the unloseable to West Coast. That would probably tell you how St Kilda supporters were feeling about this latest rebuild. About where this club had been and where this club was heading.

An entire winter stretched out ahead.

The age of what’s to come

By Tom Briglia

“It’s the age of what’s to come
And baby, you’re on”
– Jessica Pratt, “Life Is”

The St Kilda Football Club was lost for a long time.

We lost our club following the 2010 Grand Final Draw (Red, White and Black Not Mention 2009 or 2010 in a Post Challenge: Impossible). The club was broken after coming so close throughout the GT and Ross years, and then being shunted out of sight to the bottom end of the ladder and the arse end of Seaford. Promises of a rebuild we could get behind – in the way we had banded behind the Riewoldt generation – yielded nothing of the sort. It has been a different universe altogether. Scott Watters, Tom Lee as a potential captain, Jackson Ferguson, Richo, Billings before Bont, McCartin before Petracca, Robbie Gray one night in 2017, the club getting rid of The Fable Singers, Shaun McKernan and James Frawley, the 2021 version of the home jumper.

But something was different as we sat atop the AFL ladder after Round 6 of 2023. We’d been back at Moorabbin long enough, but Ross Lyon had returned (are you fucking kidding me? I still can’t believe it), blasted in from the past to help rescue the club he would have delivered to the Promised Land if not for errant kicking by Schneider, Milne, McQualter and Dempster one day 15 years ago. Form wavered and there were labouring times through 2023, but the team sat inside the top eight for the entirety of the year. It ended in a single disappointing finals appearance, but a finals experience nonetheless for a lot of young guys. The foundations were being laid, it seemed. A team with talent shortfalls was playing like a rock-solid Ross Lyon team. Remember those? Remember the unwavering pressure? Remember the visible, uncompromising repeat efforts? All of a sudden, maybe this list was capable of…something. 

We might have felt like we had our club back – and a very specific version of it that we all held a strong sense of nostalgia for, at that. But in 2024, so quickly, we might have lost it again.

Not Lost Just Losing

This year marked the 20-year anniversary of 2004 – the year the club changed forever – and given the nostalgia wheel is slowly turning towards the mid-aughts maybe there was a sneaky chance the club could give us a reprise; but there would be no tribute season worthy of DVD curio (VERY IMPORTANT THOUGH – the candy stripe did make its return, and has been confirmed as one of our gorgeous clash jumpers for 2005).

For nine days we regained the “Oh shit we might be good” feeling after a big prime-time win at the MCG against a Victorian juggernaut, prompting David King to suggest we were on the brink of our premiership window (we were one of his six locks to make finals on the eve of the season), We’d beaten the reigning premiers, St Kilda looked at home at the MCG, Marcus Windhager looked like a bona fide mid, Liam Henry looked like an absolute jet across high half-forward, Jack Higgins looked like he kicked that from M40 but it was one of those nights where things just fuckin’ go your way.

We were back until we kicked ourselves out of a not-unlike-2009 Grand Final match against the most dastardly of foes, Essendon, the following week. Just as they had three years earlier, the Bombers upended our season in Round 3 in an Easter Saturday twilight special at Marvel. Things just weren’t quite right after that. Pissing away opportunities in front of goal, cowering in front of the Essendon crowd and shitting directly into our away shorts on the way to another trademark “St Kilda lose to Essendon” loss felt like a little bit of a mortal wound. Something about this team had been exposed. 

Deciding to trade in close finishes brought poor returns. It probably didn’t feel like it but we were losing our club bit by bit. heartbreak by heartbreak (I say “heartbreak” in its 2024 context, that is, walking out into the late Saturday afternoon autumn sunshine from Arcadia, starting to sober up after a few Guinnesses after a third close loss in five weeks, with nothing to do that night; fans who lived through the GT and original Ross years know the 2004/05/09/10 real, visceral, life-event versions of “heartbreak”). Really, it had started in Round 1 at Geelong with stilted footy and a forward line that didn’t quite seem to function correctly. We might have given ourselves a pass because silly things happen in Round 1 and the ground has novelty dimensions, all masked by a fast finish when we just let things rip a little (featuring Darcy Wilson, Max King playing higher up the ground, and an amazing St Kilda away end at the latest edition of the Cats’ “new stadium”). 

Honour was only very partially restored at Norwood as well over the line against a lowly Richmond. A shrieking finish against the Giants, only to be thwarted by some kid in the final seconds, was vaguely commendable. Jack Sinclair was working his way back into the season and when he and Brad Hill were connecting off half-back and up the wing and Mitchito wasn’t missing from close range and Jack Steele got to work, evidently, we could compete with top teams. 

But the results just weren’t there. And that’s the long and short of it. A walkover at the claws of the Bulldogs, the traditional frustrating close loss to Port Adelaide (Part 1), and then a dumb close loss to yet-to-be-Hokball Hawthorn, and all of a sudden it’s Round 9, you’ve lost five games by 10 points or less and you’ve only won three overall. Your season’s over, mate. (Unless you’re Brisbane.)

Unfortunately, we played some bad footy in both the excellent red/yellow/black and red/white/black versions of our Sir Doug Nicholls Round jumpers. A tiring effort against an indifferent Fremantle (very fun jumper colours match-up) into perhaps the most anaemic performance of the season, at the MCG against Melbourne on a dismal Sunday afternoon, heralded the return of winter.

This new material felt like 2023 deep cut B-sides: unimaginative, couldn’t connect up forward, a struggling or injured Max King, some Cooper Sharman. An inability for the mids to find the forwards, or for the forwards to provide an adequate target, or both of those things happening at the same time: the old “kickers and catchers” conundrum from the Richo days, is it. Jack Sinclair’s hair was shorter and the Samson effect meant we didn’t quite have that All-Australian player and didn’t quite have our brightest spark of 2023. He was still Very, Very Good, and he’s a victim of his own standards in this paragraph, but strength and conditioning evidently includes maintaining hair at lengths conducive to peak performance.

Unfavourable comparisons of 2024 player iterations to their 2023 selves ran all the down the list, from senior core the younger guys, with a few exceptions. Mitchito of 2024 wasn’t the Mitchito of 2023. He’s still a baby so longer-term I’m not fussed, but I do wonder if we’re playing him to his potential (whether I know if we’re playing him to his potential, without myself having had decades of professional experience in both the game and industry of Australian rules football, and without access to his individual training and match-day data is another thing altogether. He still finished ninth in the Trevor Barker Award.). What the fuck’s with his ball drop though.

Jack Steele was carrying something (right?) for parts of the season. Phillipou, after playing every game last year, was doing not much and simply had to go back to Sandringham (it was briefly worth it in the latter parts of the season). Caminiti? Not quite. Windy? Was the midfielder we needed for one night in March. Seb Ross? Forced into retirement. Dan Butler? Not his year. Brad Crouch’s knee forced him out of the game altogether. Tim Membrey had found a new home in the off-season.

Josh Battle and Callum Wilkie were standouts, but that probably meant the ball was in defence a lot (it was). Nasiah was our most improved, to the point where he’s Actually Good (fifth in the Trevor Barker), and he’s still only 21, and when you put those two together he might be our best player at some point in the coming years. And that was about it for genuine year-on-year improvement. Rowan Marshall had an excellent year and Brad Hill has maintained a high standard deep into his career.

And then there’s guys who we were just still not sure about. Hunter Clark, Zak Jones, Dougal Howard, Ben Paton, Jack Hayes (very sad face emoji), Ryan Byrnes, Zaine Cordy.

It didn’t matter how many of the defeats were by an arbitrary low margin or less. Loss by loss, it became apparent that this team just isn’t good enough. Nowhere near it. Like, fucking comically nowhere near it. A second premiership was going to take more than a midfield anchored by Brad Crouch and a banged-up Jack Steele. Genuine elite talent? Never heard of ‘em. That hideous push-pull of “we’re going nowhere” and “we look terrible”; sometimes the two in lock-step. 

Moments after we gifted Ken Hinkley and Port Adelaide another signature moment – for Ken’s emotion to spill out, for Port to be praised for a backs-against-the-wall away win – in Round 16, as I was trudging across the bridge towards the Route 58 tram in the depths of winter, it happened. 

“Finally, I just stopped caring.”

There were a few pieces to this. Another fucking close loss to Port Adelaide was very difficult to take but I think I was just so, so, so sure and so, so, so resigned that it would be another shitty fucking close loss to Port that…it didn’t matter? I didn’t care? “It’s Round 16 and we’ve won four games, you can’t touch me.”

Is it part of being 36 years old? Is it part of being 36 years old and a St Kilda supporter? Is it part of being 36 years old and a St Kilda supporter that specifically saw all of 1997 and the GT and Ross eras and the cold comedown since?

Is it all of that, and then having been exposed all over again? No elite talent, apart from Max maybe, and he was playing like a “sad footballer”, Roo declared. No true midfield. Two defenders holding up the place, one of them eyeing off the exit anyway. Who wants to watch this? What do our younger fans think? Not even the team cohesion brought on by early Rossball 2.0 could cover this or elevate this in the way it had been in 2023 (and that only took us to an Elimination Final loss). Where the hell were we going? Where the hell was all of this going?

This was a little deeper than just “this season is a write-off, let’s check out”. And I need to stress that on-field success isn’t the only ingredient in a recipe to feeling like you have your club back, or however it is you want to frame your current state of connection or disconnection. But 2024 necessarily meant having to go through the emotional risk journey of getting attached to the club – to all the individual players, and the way they play together, to the journey that they are on as a team and we are on as fans – all over again, without any guarantee of success (to paraphrase Ross). As we pissed away the season, wondering about all the could-have-beens and should-have-beens in the close losses and then just fucking endured the week-to-week of the depths of winter, our concepts of the “now“ and the “future” were rearranged. “It’s the age of what’s to come / And baby you’re on” Jessica Pratt sings. Now is not our time. And we simply have to start the work and get going, again.

The reason for unceremoniously dumping Brett Ratten and making a ruthless decision was that we get the best man in charge to get us beyond the sixth to 10th bracket. To get us some fucking joy. Ross showed straight up he could get us to play in the upper range of that, but that was going to be the ceiling unless we underwent the task of putting a tired supporter base – yes, one coming off something of a sugar hit of 2023 – through a deeper rebuild. Hitting the draft. No amount of Ross Lyon Sensationally Returning to Save the St Kilda Football Club could change that. While most of the rest of the world was having its Brat summer, we were boring ourselves to death. St Kilda went dormant.

At varying levels we’re excited by but not fully attached to Nasiah, Pou, Mitchito, Windy and Darcy Wilson, and Max remains a work in progress (albeit very promising). A few years of pain might give way to some better times. I genuinely am excited that Alix Tauru could be the most fun blonde Saint to watch since the last one, and Tobie Travaglia has that hard-headed un-St Kilda-like confidence we need to get into the club. But we all get excited by the new draftee glow. But this time…It’s always this time, isn’t it?

If 2023 was the year of exploration, then 2024 was…also the year of exploration, just without Ross saying those words at every presser. Six debutants (Darcy Wilson very good, Hugo Garcia and Arie Schoenmaker loom as fun), and no Max King for effectively half the season meant trying some ramshackle and some not-so-ramshackle forward line set ups. Anthony Caminiti was tried in defence and…didn’t actually look too bad? (He gets his hands to every contest as a starting point.) Riley Bonner was there for some reason. He joins the pantheon of Saints traded into the club that for a range of reasons lasted one year at Moorabbin, including Dale Kickett, Troy Gray, Damian Monkhorst, Sean Charles, Matthew Clarke, Charlie Gardiner, Ryan Gamble, and Jarrod Lienert. 

I caught some feelings back then

But then…shit seemed to work a bit near the end? Rossball 2.0 is evidently gunning for more speed and fitness than the first version. When it worked it was pretty hot. Nas looked like a future All-Australian, Pou was playing as a genuine mid and kicking goals on the run from 50, Darcy Wilson was running top four teams off their legs at Marvel five years after Simon Lethlean said we would, and Cooper Sharman (is he worthy of the candy stripe?) played Pretty Well, including Playing Like Nick Riewoldt for one night only in the return match against the Bombers.

A two-point win over the ladder-leading Swans – led by Mattaes Phillpou, the Elite Mid We’d Been Waiting For – was one of those “best wins by a St Kilda team out of the running for the year”. It’s obviously not in the absolute top tier that includes the Plugger-led one-point comeback win in 1994 over the Swans at the SCG, nor the 56-point win in the wet over dominant Carlton at Waverley the following year. It’s probably not in the same category as the Barry Hall after-the-siren win in the last game of 2001 over the Hawks (a very underrated comeback in its own right). Perhaps it’s more in the vein of the 110-point win over Essendon in 2015 (although that was a bleak day generally given the passing of Phil Walsh two days’ prior). Maybe the 2016 three-point win over ladder leaders Geelong?

I’m not sure if fun performances from Cooper Sharman and Darcy Wilson and wearing the candy stripe and the Stickman were quite enough to say we had our club back again. But the throttling of Essendon in Round 20 (we owed them one, or a few, I guess?) was fun for a few reasons, including wearing the candy stripe at Docklands just like we had 20 years earlier, and also because it was Cooper Sharman Night, in which he held every mark roaming across the front half of the ground and nailed three goals. What is more likely: that he never plays another game like that again, or that he plays one more game like that again?

A pedestrian 72-point win over the struggling Eagles was what a normal, good club would do – i.e., have a pedestrian 72-point win over the struggling Eagles. A pedestrian eight-goal win over the bottom-of-the-ladder Tigers was what a normal, good club would do – i.e., have a pedestrian eight-goal win over the bottom-of-the-ladder Tigers. Those were broken up by an 85-point pantsing at the hands of premiership-bound Lions in a Sunday twilight special that at the time suggested we had absolutely checked out for 2024. Putting the dial back to “fun” was the “Saints Say Thanks” Round 23 match, which for some reason brought back the Stickman jumper (celebrating 10 years since the 2014 Wooden Spoon I guess). Having considered leaving early in the third with all of three goals on the board, we watched a very good comeback against the top four Cats, led by Darcy Wilson going bananas (goals on the run out of the centre square are you fr?). Some really fun last quarter goals from Sharman, Snags and Butler; one of those games where your team finishes with a rush. It was a reprisal of the very enjoyable win over Geelong at the same stadium, at the same time, in the same round (364 days earlier), although that one had a little bit more riding on it for us. But you’ve just got to celebrate some wins sometimes, and this one was worth the family-sized Ascot from Pizza Minded and the Kayo Mini upon arrival back home.

Scores of 84 (not huge otherwise but included here because it came with a win over the top-of-the-ladder team), 113, 108, 99, and 107 (the latter from a half-time score of 24) was the result of more fluid ball movement and a better understanding, yes, between the kickers and the catchers. As there had been earlier in the season when games appeared over and the team decided to throw off the shackles (Geelong, GWS, Port Adelaide, Lions), players were more connected when there was a want to get the ball moving, and someone decided to present an option. It was more expressive, it was more daring, and it was simply more effective.

The glaring absence in that final stretch was Max King. While he sat out the final chunk of the season with another dicey injury (this time a PCL) there was debate on The Worst Place on Earth/Twitter and BigFooty and Saintsational and from Kane (Max’s “career is being wasted”) and his former Haileybury coach/would-be goal kicking coach Matthew Lloyd as to whether or not his absence was the reason why the kickers and catchers were finally uniting, and whether he should be traded for a high draft pick or few in a year with a deep pool of talent. Surely there was a club out there that could bring the best out of him and surely we could use that pick (or two) on some of that elite talent we have next to fuck all of? While all of this was going on, the club quietly signed him to a six-year extension that effectively turned his contract into an eight-year deal.

I so, so desperately want Max King to work. The deal is a sign that the club wants him long-term. I just hope it’s not a sign the club wants to its players to haphazardly and repeatedly bomb the ball onto his head long-term. He is the player destined to make it right: wearing the number 12 of the captain that for all intents and purposes was the man to lead this club to its second premiership; and Max is someone who had followed the club through that period and had actually been at the Grand Finals with his family and saw it all first-hand. But also…that’s exactly what we got, isn’t? He indeed plays like a sad young man; he plays like someone who has followed the Saints in the 21st century and had been at those Grand Finals and was there for the frankly horrific fallout. He plays like someone who saw all of that, and has then been handed the number 12 and asked to lead this generation to make up for all of what happened, all of what he saw. We’re all just trying to banish ghosts of the past, aren’t we? Isn’t that what life’s all about?

The Last Year

And then a parting gift – Snags’ hooking, hooking, swirling, curling snap that not only upended the race for the top eight for all of a couple hours, but thumbed its nose at what the club feels about high draft picks versus Ross’s “character and culture piece”, and what that could all do with players drafted a few picks lower than what we were destined for all year. It’s a tale as old as St Kilda: win six meaningless games, including one in the last 12 seconds of the season, and cost yourself the chance to set up an elite midfield for a decade or more. Some Saints fans were secretly, and some not so secretly, torn. This is a club that has been bare for a true collection of elite talent (especially in the midfield) since the opening bounce of the 2010 Grand Final Replay. Actual elite talent. Walk-up starts to All-Australian, guys in the conversation for the Brownlow, but most importantly, guys who you can rely on every week to put in an A-grade minimum performance, with the ability to pick up a team and carry them on their backs for a game, for a quarter, for a moment. What did that Snags kick cost us? Yes, we’re still scarred by Billings-before-Bontempelli and McCartin-before-Petracca picks (While we’re here, how about Ball-before-Judd or McEvoy-before-Dangerfield? It works for all sorts of arguments and gets tiring and is reductive to a point.). As I said, Travaglia and Tauru (very good names) could be anything, and the optimist in me (however feeble he may be) thinks we might have cheekily done part of the midfield-building job already with Phillipou and Travaglia (over time, Will Day-style). On a cold, dark, late winter’s night, the Carlton win was a moment to relish. Fox Footy closed its Grand Final Week whole-of-season highlights package with the goal, suggesting it as the defining moment that captured the bonkers nature of the year as far as the top two-thirds of the competition were concerned. To that, and to that point, we had mostly been neutral observers; bored and boring onlookers.

The club itself – which in the mid-2020s is, in a day-to-day sense the social media team – has done a pretty good job in engagement throughout all of this, i.e. having to promote a team and a club that people would be well within their rights to be a bit apathetic about. I think they’ve embraced the fandoms and the relationships of this era very nicely, without getting back to me on why the Non-Fable Singers version of the song continues to be played at Carrara and Norwood, nor why the version of the 2025 home jumper Jack Sinclair is wearing in the promo shoots is different to the apparent player issue and retail version (goose_chase_meme.jpg). Do they not engage with me because I don’t do enough memes? Half-serious question.

Not much of a year, and not much of a time. For Saints fans, an entire season of devotion is a lot of input for not much immediate return – I don’t know how many times we’ll be singing along to The Fable Singers after games next year either, given the profile of this list. Jack MacRae is a really fun pick-up but I don’t think he’ll be there for the next serious premiership tilt, which 12 months ago I’d pencilled in for 2026, but I think we’re now looking to at least 2029. Who knows, maybe Ross and Max will be the ones to close the loop after all. Pou is my current tip to be the one holding up the cup with Ross.

In the meantime, start taking the emotional risk (again). Remember, there are no guarantees as to how long this will all take or if it will work at all; but if there is anything that St Kilda fans are good at, it’s waiting.

Season 2023 review with Daniel Cherny

Two weeks ago the Giants knocked St Kilda out of the finals. The dust has since settled, and so with a clear head Daniel Cherny of CODE Sports helps us look back on the unqualified success that was 2023.

St Kilda’s 150th year, the return of Ross the Boss, the emergence of Mitchito Owens and others, and what state the list finds itself in as trade season creeps up on us. Will Callum Wilkie be captain in 2024? Has Jack Billings played his last game for the club? Is Mitchito “the guy” in the midfield? Did Phil Raymond actually make his debut in 2007? Richard Lee and Daniel turn over all these stones and more.

See Daniel’s work at CODE Sports here.

Hopedrunk

2023 2nd Elimination Final
St Kilda 2.3, 6.6, 9.8, 11.11 (77)
GWS Giants 5.3, 10.5, 13.9, 15.11 (101)
Crowd: 68,465 at the MCG, Saturday, 9th September at 3.20pm
By Tom Briglia


The Year of Exploration led us to September.

A wistful look through the 2023 season scores on AFL Tables in the coming decades will show we spent the entire year in the top eight. But really, week-to-week living was rollicking from taking wild shots at the top four and being on the brink of falling out of the eight entirely, and beyond that, looking like a bottom-four side through the depths of winter. It seemed like the players and the crowd late in the Geelong game thought we locked for finals – that night really did feel celebratory – and then at the Nixon afterwards (you couldn’t get into the heaving Platform 28) I thought we were actually there when Keays kicked that “goal”. Calamity ensued, and it looked like we were going to have to stare down a tense week of needing a win against the Lions at the Gabba, but more than likely be sweating on two games on the Sunday. We’d already had enough tension in the previous weeks to go with the Matildas ffs. World Cup into September hey. I was spiralling towards a menty b, frequently checking the ladder predictor to see just how much we could lose to Brisbane by, how likely it would be that Sydney and the Dogs win, and just how much GWS could beat Carlton by before we became a cross between the Blues of 2022 and Melbourne 2017. Instead, the next day we were assured of finals thanks to *checks notes* West Coast winning. 

The day after Jamie Cripps hauled his old team over the line, Saints merch was already prominent at Union Square Coles. The Saints AFL mini-gnome was smiling enthusiastically up front, while on the next shelf sat the disc-shaped three-in-one bottle opener ($8, I bought it). Round 24, ultimately, was all about where we would finish. A home final looked unlikely on paper until Melbourne rolled Sydney for no reason and Carlton shat out a couple of late goals against the Giants, who came close to pulling off over two weeks a very watered-down version of our 2008 finish to pinch a top-four spot from Adelaide (GWS actually sat in sixth place during that last quarter of the season).

Gerard led the next morning’s Whateley with reflections on the nerves of Saints fans throughout Sunday’s matched. All of a sudden Ross’s mid-week press conference had a microphone in shot that isn’t just a St Kilda-branded microphone held by the internal boofhead.

Swamp and others noted that this was the first time in St Kilda’s history – in its 150th year – that we had played finals in more seasons (28 now) than having finished on the bottom of the ladder (27 times). St Kilda evidently doesn’t often make finals often. This was a little bit of St Kilda history. There was every chance it could be over by the second quarter of the first weekend, but a little bit of history nonetheless. Rory and Andrew and others wrote about how they haven’t been able to take their children to finals yet.

The MCG is a sacred place. For a day, it was ours. In fact, it was for the second time in a year, following the 150th anniversary match. Unheard of. It was a far cry from what Richmond had for the 2017 Preliminary Final against GWS, and it wasn’t quite the 2019 Collingwood vs GWS Preliminary Final, nor the Semi Final between those teams the year before. This was a Diet Lite Caffeine-Free version of that, an Elimination Final, mixed with anticipation Richmond’s first final 12 years in 2013, the Elimination Final against the Blues.

***

And while the different permutations were being considered and spat out by the ladder predictor, and while we rode a great first part of the season and a dull winter, I knew that for the first three weeks of the finals series I was going to be in Mexico City and then San Luis Obispo, California. Family stuff that I really couldn’t get out of, you see. When we booked the flights it was Round 6 and St Kilda sat on top of the ladder; Hoyney and Kingy were rolling out stats about the team and Mitchito weekly as near-confirmation we were set for our first finals series in a “normal” season – i.e. anything that isn’t 2020 (at least 2021 was a full season with full-length games) – and I was going to be on the other side of the world’s biggest ocean. Incredible stuff. Part of me of spent most the year resenting Ross the Boss’s coaching capabilities because I’d be missing a Qualifying Final and a Semi Final and a Preliminary Final at the MCG – which then, as our season deteriorated, became ruminating on missing the experience of Carlton vs St Kilda in an MCG Elimination Final in front of 91,000. I sulked about being on an incredible holiday, I sulked about the prospect of being in a blanket on the couch at 3am in my hotel room with a dodgy internet connection, as if my experiences and memories are more important than those of the hundred-plus thousand St Kilda supporters. A search for “Aussie bar” and “Mexico City” came up with an inconclusive 2011 thread from a forum that may or may not still exist. A call-out on Twitter yielded nought, and I was left on “Pending” in the 74.5k-member-strong “Foreigners in Mexico” Facebook group. In the lead-up to the game (i.e. the beginning of my holiday) I was rattled and I accidentally replied to Tim Gossage (confirmed by the excellent Unpluggered as a St Kilda fan last year) on Twitter simply with my search for “East Fremantle”. It was one of those weeks where you either couldn’t sleep or could only sleep. 

There are some real first-world problems being experienced out there, and I can tell you I was fortunate enough to be having those on a Friday night in Mexico City. Twelve years is a long time, in footy and in life. St Kilda’s first final in Melbourne in 12 years, by definition, happens only once every 12 years. My heart secretly sank on the Monday as Sam Edmund declared nearly 65,000 tickets had been sold. Then there was mid-week talk on 360 of 70,000. Oh, my heart indeed. I had it rubbed in just that little bit more by Matt and Dad who requested that I get online and get the tickets for them and a couple of friends and family. I wore my 150th Year membership scarf to the Melbourne airport, on the flight to Auckland, at Auckland Airport, on the flight to Los Angeles, at Los Angeles Airport, on the flight to Mexico City, and in Mexico City. I brought my 150th Year jumper with me and wore that during the game.

The MCG in September. The Saints ran out to the Fable Singers and I may or may not have shed a small tear. As it ended up being, I was on my hotel bed watching via the OK-ish Watch AFL connection, OK-ish wi-fi and laptop-into-TV via HDMI set-up at 11pm on a Friday night, stress-eating a bag of jalapeño-flavoured Sabritas, with a couple of cans of Modelo and a bottle of Baileys. Another tear as I watched Max King, Mattaes Phillipou, Mitchito Owens, Nasiah Wanganeen-Milera and Marcus Windhager lined up for the national anthem at the MCG on a Saturday afternoon in September. Ross’s boys. The rain made way for the sunshine.

***

Rowan Marshall and Cooper Sharman had the first say, Roma got the first clearance and then grabbed the mark in the centre circle from Lachie Ash’s return kick. Cooper – fresh from having had an AFL.com.au feature article written about him – hauled in a strong mark and kicked the first. Without Membrey he would need to have a big day in the forward half.

But that was immediately erased as the Giants nudged it forward and soft efforts from Higgins and Wilkie allowed Toby Greene to pounce. As good as our pressure was in the opening minutes, the Giants had bigger bodies and were switched on from the start. Some good moments – Sharman taking a big mark on the wing, Caminiti’s huge grab on the 50-metre arc that led to a worried GWS backline giving away a free to Roma for our second – were broken up by fumbles from all of Sinclair, Higgins and Wood. 

Marshall appeared set for a big day. Briggs won the clearance immediately after his goal but Roma won the resulting clearance out of defence and you could hear the murmurs in the crowd coming through in the broadcast, “Oh that’s Rowan Marshall again”, “That was Marshall”, Murmers McKenzie-style. It took a long time before GWS had their first mark, which showed we were having things on our terms but like so much of 2023, we couldn’t convert. A Max pirouette led to nought as Connor Idun a big few moments, Max was found on the lead but still wasn’t willing to put the arms out after his shoulder injuries (and also Ross mentioning his ACL wtf) and Perryman put in a fist. Promising high turnovers were dented by more signs were there that something wasn’t quite right. Sinclair made errors he hadn’t made all season; he dropped a high ball on the wing that became a GWS shot on goal, and was guilty of messy ball handling and wayward kicking when so often he has been an architect. Wilkie left his man and didn’t make an impact on multiple occasions. He dropped marks he’d usually take. The ball went straight through an otherwise anonymous Butler’s hands as we tried to get out of defence and O’Halloran found Bedford, who went back and owned the moment. Max couldn’t complete a mark at the top of the goal square after another high turnover, GWS took the field on and went up the other end and a fortuitous on the full from Crouch’s boot led to a big Jesse Hogan marking and goaling from close range. From our Airbnb room in San Miguele Chapultepec, Gracie next to me said, “That whole thing was very St Kilda”. Unpluggered, I think there’s something in this. Contact me and we can workshop the wording.

Mitchito cut through the noise with a great tackle up forward that earned a holding-the-ball free kick but his set shot kicking let him down, and it was just to the right. It was a moment that needed to be taken, because GWS were getting the game on their terms. They cut across the ground, Kelly and Tom Green were extracting, they were spreading, they pedalled harder. A menacing ball from Greene into the goal square saw a frantic exchange between Brown and Keeffe against Nasiah and Zaine and Brown managed to just get it to his boot. Three in a row for GWS. The Saints were getting frustrated. A free kick was given up on the wing and O’Halloran and Kelly were quick to react and ran it straight up forward to Daniels. Four in a row. The crowd had been taken out of it (when have he ever used that terminology about the Saints?).

There was worse to come. Finally, a neat transition from defence to the forwardline but we – to put it simply – fucked up a three-on-two; Mitchito and Max couldn’t get enough separation on their opponents and then competed for the same ball. Mitchito landed heavily and no one had stayed down, and no one was at the fall. We had the entire MCG to ourselves and bottled it in front of 68,000 fans. Aesthetically, on the broadcast, it looked like Grand Final Day. Sam Landsberger had pondered during the week whether or not this would be the most Saints fans ever at the one game.

***

We’re supposed to be the number-one defence in the league but we’d given up five goals in the first quarter. Someone needed to rise above the game because the team system was getting sliced up. Seb Ross engineered his own moment, catching Callan Ward holding the ball 45 out, but hit the post with a wobbling kick. Wilkie was finding his feet with a couple of strong marks. Butler had a massive moment after a massive dive earned him a shot on goal, but his kick around the corner was weak. A long ball to the top of the goal square for all intents and purposes found Phillipou, but Caminiti – who was surely told to just go for everything – crashed into his own man. A harried kick out was won by the Giants and Green, Ward, Perryman and Callaghan went straight up the other end to Hogan one-out for a goal. Bedford then won a pressured handball, Wilkie dropped the mark, and his man Greene gave off to a Riccardi who executed a classy banana goal. Wilkie couldn’t collect a Kelly clearance, Greene danced around him a few moments later and Lloyd was harder at the ball than Hunter Clark, turned and curled another. Daniels and Hogan fashioned a small chain of knock-ons small kicks in the forward pocket that ended with Kelly. You could hear 68,000 groan as they realised the ball was making its way to him, unmarked,15 metres out. Four goals in less than 10 minutes. A 42-point lead.

GWS had made their move. There is something irrepressible about a team making its move in a final. Orange tsunami, orange wave, whatever you want to call it, orange jumpers (fantastic design btw) were surging in numbers across the ground, scoring at will from stoppage (they ended with 8.6 from stoppage). Eight straight goals. This wasn’t the Ross Lyon-controlled game we’d seen for all bar one or two weeks this year. It was September, things are turned up, and the Saints looked out of their depth. A Year of Exploration, a day of finding out.

***

While Gerard’s narrative on the Monday following Round 24 suggested an absolute premium on a home final, tipsters seemed to favour the Giants off the back of nine wins in 11 matches. They were certainly favourites with the bookies. They had a whirlwind of good press after knocking over Carlton in the final game of the home and away season. Toby Greene was named All-Australian captain. David King had GWS as his fourth seed on Whateley

The Saints were a little bit on the nose otherwise. Kane Cornes said we were the only team in the eight that can’t win the premiership. GWS would win comfortably, he said. St Kilda dropped the “Don’t believe the narrative” video on the Sunday night and dredged up some disses over the past few months: “lack for talent” Kingy had said; “it’s been a wasted year” said Kane. Greg Baum did go to the trouble of writing up a feature on Mitchito Owens that took up a couple of pages in The Age. This was all on top of Sharman’s feature.

All this came alongside all the feel-good social media faff – “Which Saint is booked in for a finals haircut?” “Which Saint will step up in September?” Using the term “September” implied a length of time, not a weird week off and then a singular game in which we were nopal halfway through the second. Tempting fate, the club posted a bandwagon graphic for everyone to tag their friends in. AFL 360 played that “I’m coming home” Ross video again when it had him on the show – finals build-ups get bigger every year, and this implied something big was brewing. But it’s not ready just yet.

***

With all of 10.10 left on the clock in the second quarter, the camera cut to a St Kilda fan tearing up.

Jack Steele – who played his best game probably since 2021 – simply said after the game that the Giants’ contest and spread was better. Sometimes footy is simple. Sometimes it’s about winning the ball in the midfield, about body positioning, about having bigger bodies to work with in the first place, about class, about fighting harder when the other team has the ball and running harder as defence becomes offence. About forwards not getting in the way of each other at the top of the goal square.

For all intents and purposes the game was over, blown apart so quickly that it was already lost before we could pull the usual break-glass-in-case move of Sinclair into the middle.

There was a “but” in this game, however. There would actually be a few “buts”.

Sharman, doing justice to the feature, rose higher than Whitfield from a quick Marshall and Crouch clearance to get a much-needed win back the other way in that tactical battle, and slotted a goal.

Max King had been anonymous – unfortunately, an accurate word here for a few guys on the day – but there is still something to say about a player who can have little impact minute-to-minute and then in a few moments alter the trajectory of a game. The first moment was actually a shocking miss from close range after our best transition with the footy all game; Butler lowered the eyes and hit him in the pocket, but he never settled and blasted the ball around the corner and missed to the narrow side. A few moments later, Sharman and Butler and then Phillipou and Owens got the better of Ash and Green at half-forward in a rare physical contest win, and Gresham, in one of his best games for the year, neatly screwed a pass to King 40 metres out. He’d found some separation on Taylor and managed to hold on, go back and kick the goal. The whole ground was effectively the St Kilda end, but the St Kilda end was starting to stir. Just a little bit.

Gresham took a sliding mark from Steele’s clearance and hardly had a chance to look for a lead when Sam Taylor most likely lightly brushed Max in the forward pocket, 20 metres out. Max went down and the umpire went with it. Max, probably at his least favourite distance from goal, put it through. He celebrated with the fans. The crowd was a factor again.

Well, it was a factor for 102 seconds. Cumming, Bedford, Ward and Whitfield shirked Hill, Windhager and Steele on one flank from the bounce and the ball drifted to the outer flank. In not the only instance of iffy umpiring leading to a GWS goal, Wood caught O’Halloran and the ball fell out of his hands, was soccered forward and found Kelly. He settled and kicked the goal on his left near the boundary from 45 metres. Cliché: it oozed class. We simply don’t have players (yet) who can do that sort of thing.

But. Kelly’s goal was after the 31-minute mark and it seemed like a mini-fightback had been snuffed. There was just enough time for Gresham to win a ground ball on the wing and give off to Steele with 20 seconds on the clock, who launched to Butler in a one-on-four the Giants’ way, but Butler was held. St Kilda supporter Jack Higgins decided to show up and ran onto the bouncing ball  (I instinctively thought it was Gresham and yelled at the TV) with Idun on his hammer. He gave off an awkward long, low handball to Hill in the goal square, who was dealing with Bedford, but Hill used the momentum of the tackle to swing his leg around and sneak in a goal – which, nearly grazing the Tom Hawkins post, had to go through an agonising goal review.

***

The big news news that landed during the week was the announcement that the club would be wearing the 150th Year jumper in the match. It was going all-out for a 150th Year celebration victory lap in front of the home fans at the MCG. As an aside, surely the feedback (and response from the club on the run) suggests something like it will be made permanent?

***

The day had gotten off to an awful start with the awful news about Tim Membrey. We don’t need to speculate, and I probably don’t need to say more other than I hope he’s getting every bit of help he needs, and that he is ok.

***

The momentum was ours at half-time, but we were a lapse in concentration or the Giants spreading harder from the game being gone again. But – there’s that word again, and it will be used again – the team came out with a high-energy, aggressive approach that minted a change in the fabric of the game.

It just couldn’t kick a goal.

Sharman flew but couldn’t bring it down. Crouch, having a disappointing day given his output through the regular season, missed a shot on the run that he simply had to kick, in time and space and given the magnitude of the situation. The pivotal moment was a transition out of defence with Battle going wide and finding a launching Dan Butler on the wing for the Bertocchi ham mark of the day. Hill was cruising past and hit up Mitchito on the corner of the square, ahead of him was Sharman goalside of Himmelberg 20 metres out, but Mitchito’s kick floated just wide enough that Himmelberg could command best position, knock it to ground, and then run onto the footy, give off to Green, and the Giants were out of danger. It could have brought the margin to just 15 points.

GWS wasted a couple of good opportunities in front of goal but they had weathered the storm. Phillipou dropped a mark he should have taken and then followed up with a soft effort on the wing, Perryman cleared to Green and his perfect pass found Callum Brown in front of goal. Mistakes were happening again. Sinclair on the rebound kicked to Himmelberg. Wilkie kicked out on the full. “St Kilda up against the ropes,” Jason Bennett declared. And then there was the non-free kick call on Lachie Whitfield for a throw in the Gresham tackle at our half-forward, and Giants spread hardest again. A couple of handballs and Bedford was out, and he was able to kick to the advantage of Riccardi one-out, 20 out. They were just doing the things we couldn’t do. Back out to 37 points. Briggs worked off Marshall at the bounce and knocked on to Green, who had pushed off Steele, and the ball found Bedford for another.

43 points.

***

But.

Given all the momentum we’d had for so much of the quarter, we hadn’t kicked a goal; that does make some sense given the team’s stats on forward efficiency, and it was something that we couldn’t correct during the season and would hurt us come finals. With little more than 2.45 on the clock, Mitchito, for 2023/old time’s sake, found one out the back of the pack after Sharman launched again, claimed the ball, and had the awareness to give off behind him. A muted crowd reception. Zaine Cordy put in an immense aerial and then ground effort as GWS looked to transition through the middle and Webster found Sharman, who had worked hard to find space, who found Hill, 40 out on a decent angle. Hill went back, gathered pace and kicked it. He was proving his worth on the big stage.

We worked the ball forward again and with 18 seconds left, Roma summoned all of the energy in his big frame to work off Briggs at a forward pocket throw-in and kick the ball on his left; it went higher than it did longer (and possibly slightly backwards) but he tracked it, worked off Ward and caught it, gave off to Hill, to Windhager, to Nas 45 metres out. He took a step, feigned a kick, took two more steps, and thumped it through on the siren. In San Miguel Chapultepec, there were multiple wide camera shots of bays of St Kilda fans out of their seats on the Airbnb TV. Three goals in less than three minutes of play. Twenty-five points at the final change.

Our biggest quarter of the year was required. Our biggest-ever comeback from three-quarter time in a final was required. After two weeks of build-up and anticipation, after a whole season really – having the fantastic start to the season – it would take something historical to extend the Year of Exploration, and not have it all snuffed out in a couple of quarters.

Good signs. We picked up where left off again. Butler had another shot early in the last and again went the snap instead of drop punt to useless effect. Ross the Boss was only just getting back into the coaches’ box with an orange Gatorade as Nas took a contested mark on the wing as GWS sought to rebound; he changed things up and went short in-board to Gresham, who went central to Marshall, and Battle was rushing past. Battle wound up but the kick was more of a chaos ball, but it still found the outreached fingertips of Snags directly in front. Instead of quickly going around the corner or trying to blast the cover off the ball and making himself nearly fall over, he went back and kicked a neat, low, tidy drop punt to bring the St Kilda end up again. Just 18 points. Four goals in a row, and the momentum was ours, our pressure was high, the crowd was back in the game. So much time left on the clock.

But.

That was really the last time this team had a genuine place in season 2023. Immediately out of the middle, Briggs came over the top of Marshall, Windhager was in front of Kelly but was forced to ground, Kelly took the bobbling Sherrin and quickly gave off to Green, who had gotten away from Steele. His left boot entry found Riccardi, a metre or two clear of Battle. Riccardi kicked a simple goal. GWS simply had another gear when they needed it.

Riccardi missed a close-range shot at goal for momentary bemusement purposes but that gave way to the fall of the face and sinking of the heart that come as you watch your season slip away in real-time. Snags and Hunter got a bit confused from the kick-out turnover and gave away a 50. Callaghan kicked another easy goal.

Thirty-one points. Enough for GWS really to just ice the game for the bulk of the final quarter. I remember Dennis Cometti in the final stages of the 2008 Grand Final saying “Well, right now, Geelong are being milked with cold pliers”. GWS wasn’t quite employing the keepings-off game perfected by the Hawks in those final moments but St Kilda was doing a lot of the work itself with tired ball and unimaginative movement, keeping the result out of reach, just out of reach, no matter what they threw at it. Pou had been moved onto the ball; as a Year of Exploration faced its mortality, there was still a longer game in mind. Max took a great high grab and kicked his third, but that moment belongs to the aether, not really consequential to the 2023 season, and there’s no carryover to next year. There was only watching the season evaporate for a third time in one afternoon.

***

There’s a reverse or mirror image of 2011 in 2023 but I’m not exactly sure what it is. In Ross 1.0’s last year, 2011, St Kilda finished 6th, beating 5th-placed Carlton at the MCG in the last game of the home and away season to secure a home final, against a Sydney team (the Swans) at Docklands. In that game, 6th-placed St Kilda lost a home final to 7th-placed Sydney. This time, in Ross’s comeback year, St Kilda lost in the last game of the home and away season but still finished 6th, despite Sydney team GWS beating 5th-placed Carlton at Docklands, but not quite getting enough percentage to secure a home final. St Kilda’s 2023 home Elimination Final was this time at the MCG. Sixth-placed St Kilda got the home final but ended up losing anyway to a 7th-placed Sydney team. There’s something in all of that I’m sure. It’s in there. It’s somewhere.

***

~~~ YES I KNOW HE IS PROBLEMATIC ~~~

***

Brad Hill said during the week that we brought our best against the top teams. We certainly didn’t bring our best against the bottom teams – we squeaked out eight-point wins against North Melbourne and West Coast, while Hawthorn and Gold Coast both rolled us. Finals, we learned, are a different beast. Our midfield was exposed, our smaller bodies were exposed, our pace was exposed, our class was exposed.

In a Year of Exploration, we made a habit of dirty days and nights at the footy at home games. Having Port laugh in our face again on a Friday night, pissing away the Hawthorn game, and prime time slots against Brisbane and Melbourne becoming really difficult nights of watching bad, frustrating footy that almost-but-didn’t-quite come off. Fittingly, the season closed with an Elimination Final loss at the MCG on a September Saturday afternoon in front of 68,465 against an AFL billboard with a few hundred fans.

This day really did get big on the club. Its first final in Melbourne in 12 years, under the returning Ross Lyon, and perhaps the biggest congregation of Saints fans in history. The team couldn’t rise to the occasion. I closed last season trying to somewhat quote Nilüfer Yanya with “In some kind of way, the club is lost.” This feels like part one of a long game, and one that may not necessarily be all upwards from here. But Saturday still takes the wind out of you. One minute there’s a new logo and there are all sorts of fun jumpers, there are media features on Mitchito Owens and Cooper Sharman, Sam Landsberger is highlighting a momentous piece of Saints history, Max, Pou, Nas, Windy, Mitchito are all lining up for the national anthem, and the Saints fans are making the MCG look like Grand Final Day; the next, the Giants have hammered on eight straight goals and your season’s over by halfway through the second quarter. The Year of Exploration, in the club’s 150th Anniversary Year, is done. Ross, who so much of the club and this year revolved around, didn’t break character in his press conference. He simply opened with, “It comes and goes quick, doesn’t it?” Centuries come and go.

Another life

Round 23, 2022
St Kilda 3.3, 5.5, 7.7, 11.8 (74)
Sydney Swans
4.2, 9.3, 11.6, 13.10 (88)
Crowd: 23,344 at Docklands, Sunday, August 22nd at 4.40pm
By Tom Briglia


I said to Matt during the bye that no matter what happened, the second half of the year would be exhausting.

We sat 8-3 after Round 11, in the top four, after every team had played half of their home and away season games. Whatever happened from there would be a big deal. A dizzying huge rush towards the finals, perhaps. If we didn’t finish in a top four position it would mean we’d have to endure some very tough defeats with bad consequences. Missing out on the finals completely meant another journey altogether.

The season was effectively over when Cam Rayner told us all to keep quiet after he kicked his fourth goal of the previous Friday night; it was all but official when the Tigers won on the Sunday. We were down to hoping the Bulldogs lost in the last round, while making up a 142-point gap on the Blues, and by the time the Bulldogs fell over the line against Hawthorn we needed a circa 160-point win over the Swans. It emerged during the week that we were one of five teams to get punished for COVID reporting issues; even if the Bulldogs and Carlton and Sydney did the same and all got wiped out by COVID this St Kilda wasn’t getting within a few postcodes of that. This season and its hopes were now in the past tense.

We could still get a small kick out of Marcus Windhager getting the Rising Star nomination and getting the weekly interview on Dwayne’s World and AFL 360, a week after Swamp reminded us that St Kilda is responsible for clearly the most opposition Rising Star nominations (60 in total). Windhager has come a long way from the kid who let the ball go straight through his hands with his first touch in the pre-season match against the Bombers. We’ve seen clubs – from the Geelong side of the 2000s right through to Collingwood and the Bulldogs now – benefit from the father-son rule, as well as the Next Generation Academy (to the point of the Dogs taking the top pick in the draft). Hopefully it’s our turn with Windhager and Owens.

A lot of this time of year is looking back retrospectively, both for the season and more broadly, with players announcing their retirements. Robbie Gray retired, the man who has broken our hearts twice, including this year’s inevitable shitting of pants in Cairns with the winning behind with not much more than 30 seconds to go. This week his 2017 heroics – achieved with the help of Paddy Ryder, who at the time was wearing a Port Adelaide jumper – on that awful night at the Adelaide Oval got replayed and shared over, and over, and over again on social media. No doomscrolling timeline refresh was safe on Tuesday. He’s been relevant to us and our “mid-table mediocrity” (as coined by Demonblog) right up to the end. “Mid-table ordinary”, Gerard called us.

***

Tom Browne reported that Dan Hannebery would be retiring and Paddy Ryder – who played Australian Rules football in a St Kilda jumper, and it feels sad to write that in the past tense – would be joining him, and Rory was the one who alerted me to the official confirmation of Paddy retiring. Paddy Ryder in a St Kilda jumper has been one of the few joys of the Post-GT and Ross Eras Era (What is its name? The Watters/Richo/Ratts Era? The Long Decline? The Mediocrity Era?) There was something so un-St Kilda like about him. Maybe because one of our early dealings with him was his sealing an Essendon win over us in early 2010 as we dealt with our mortality following the 19-0 start to 2009. Then, of course, there was his tap to Robbie Gray in 2017. He played for the two clubs that we historically seem to have the most trouble with, and then all of a sudden he was a Saint. He seemed so above the mediocrity of modern St Kilda. He’s so good! He’s so dynamic! He’s so reliable! He plied his trade as an artist with ruckwork as his medium. Hit-outs into the path of goalbound Gresham and Billings were among the best moments of 2022. He kicked important goals himself. He was still a genuinely good footballer right to the end; banged up and at 34, he might have been our most important. Yes, it was this season that he kicked three goals in a best-on-ground performance to guide us to a win over the eventual minor premiers Geelong. I had a lot of fun repeating my silly joke about him wearing a St Kilda jumper every chance I could. I just couldn’t believe he played for St Kilda and we could call him one of our own.

***

The week’s “In the Mix” article was probably much too upbeat about our prospects: “Nothing to lose. That’s the message the Saints will be taking into Sunday, knowing that a win (and a big win at that) and other results falling their way will lead to a spot in September finals action.” By Thursday night selection, the outs suggested the cue was firmly in the rack. By game day, the club and its social media team had outright been reduced to “For one last time in 2022”. The club had spent its one final whirl of good news for the season with announcement that it had passed 60,000 members for the first time.

And then Sunday rolls around we go through the match day rituals, yes, for one last time in 2022. You check for the next 58 tram on the YarraTrams app. You get your 2022 membership scarf. You find something appropriately nostalgic to listen to on the way in (new Nilüfer Yanya album). You meet up with Rich at Platform 28 for a final pre-match Parma but it’s full because the top level’s been booked out again. You eventually find a seat at The Nixon. The Parma arrives and you watch the finish of the Bulldogs and Hawks and the beginning of Carlton and Collingwood over the Parma. You make the short trip up the stairs to the temporary combined gates 1, 2 and 3. You load the membership app to get into the ground. You see a guy wearing a long-sleeve, player-issue 2006 heritage jumper with number 34. You listen to the pre-match brass band play Holy Grail and feel like they’re playing it more for Swans fans. The team runs out to The Fable Singers for the last time.

The AFL had repeatedly given us Friday nights thinking we’d do them justice. We did once but bottled the rest, and now we were given the Sunday 4.40pm slot in the AFL’s hopes that we’d be playing for something similar to a certain other game being played across town that day, with all eyes (for the second half anyway) on the Concrete Dome. Sydney was suddenly playing to get their top two spot back after Melbourne rediscovered forward line efficiency on the Friday, and needed something like a 54-point win (depending on the respective scores of the Swans and the Saints) – half of the 108 points we won by in 2008 to pinch fourth spot after multiple results went our way on the final weekend.

Last year I said the last game of the season (which he played in Hobart against Freo, AKA Cooper Sharman Day) is something of a victory lap of the year, although not quite a trip down the Champs Élysées. It’s a day to sit back, relax, and watch the Saints run around one more time. To see the best and worst of what made up the season, knowing that all those elements can’t hurt you again in the same way. You can’t be hurt in the same way Robbie Gray’s matchwinner (2022 version) can, or the barely-there performance against the Bombers can, although nor can the team deliver the high that came following the tension of the final quarter against Geelong, or Max King soccering through the sealer against the Blues.

***

The loss against the Lions deprived us of the experience of looking forward to a week of anticipation and daydreaming. It would have been a little bit fun (but probably torturous). Instead, we rocked up ready to watch Paddy McCartin and Tom Hickey fight it out for the top two while Blake Acres was hoping we’d win to stay in the top four, and Jack Newnes was in a tussle for the top eight. Rhys Stanley was comfortably on top.

Max put the previous week’s 0.5 behind him within two minutes of the opening bounce after some short sharp kicks between Windhager, Long, Hill and Steele, who found Sinclair out wide, and while that was happening Max King had found his way free because he’d apparently put Paddy McCartin on the ground off the ball, and Max curled one through from the boundary. If only it was that easy for him all the time. It was Snags’ turn this week to be missing goals, slicing two gettable shots early (including one that came from a perfectly weighted Hunter Clark pass). The Swans found an easy one through Hayward in the square and then sliced through to Logan McDonald. Funnily enough, after giving up several goals directly out of the middle to the Lions, some excellent work from the centre through Marshall, Steele and Jones to force it forward went over the top of everyone and King was fastest, and ran in for a second goal. In a strange turn of events, it was the first of a couple of goals out of the middle for us.

Max was switched on for any of the fans who could bear to care about it after what happened the previous week. He was leading up the ground, taking grabs on the wing and then, also strangely, right up near the centre circle, a place on the ground you rarely find him in. The last game of the season is for those kinds of strange things I guess; last year it was Bytel kicking his first two goals; this year it was Tom Campbell and Dan Hannebery and Dean Kent being out there in the first place. You also get moments that reflect a team running around with nothing to play for. Jones had three to aim for in the forward line but didn’t quite hit any of them; Mitchito had a shot from the pocket but he kicked the wrong side of the ball and it floated harmlessly to the opposite pocket. An NWM kick on the full went straight up the other end through Chad Warner’s blissful dash along the wing and then long goal from inside the centre square, which alone signalled that 54-point margin was perhaps likely.

***

Either side of quarter time there were some better moments. Ben Long was on his way to his best day with a nice set shot goal after a 50-metre penalty, and Max found the goals for his third after some excellent running and darting by Jack Sinclair. But Josh Battle was having a bad day. Three times he completely missed a target, and the errors were starting to be punished. Seb Ross completely dropped the ball as we tried rebounding off half-back and the Swans were away through Heeney, Buddy and McDonald for an easy goal (multiple times from stoppage and open play they were instantly able to turn defending into hard and fast-running attacking). Battle then dropped a Sydney entry that Reid pounced on and missed, but he wasn’t so lucky the next time around. Heeney ran onto the spill and into goal and Battle had to cop Buddy ruffling his hair. Battle was paid a soft free kick against on Buddy a few minutes later and the nine-goal margin was on, but we went straight out the centre bounce again through Seb Ross and King pushed off Rampe and kicked a delightful goal on the run from 40 metres out. It looked simple for him.

After all of that, Battle came off with a concussion, while Hunter Clark had found another way to get injured. One-hundredth and final-gamer Dean Kent came on and hit up Windhager with an excellent pass early in the third, but it was time again for the Swans to tease out second spot. Hickey got down low in the forward pocket and found Heeney who goaled from close range, and then Franklin was manhandled in the square. The margin was 28 points, and inched out to 29 as they had multiple chances to really put the foot down and set it up for the last quarter, but Heeney made some rare errors. In the final seconds of the quarter Campbell sent a long, high ruckman’s kick to Steele who played on to Higgins and he snuck the kick in just before the siren.

It was back to 23 points. So this game ended up mostly being played somewhere in the most boring parts between the two margins of interest, of zero and 54 points – right up until Steele (who was anchored forward for parts of the second half), Max (another nice kick by Kent) and Membrey all kicked set shot goals to bizarrely bring the margin to just seven with the best part of 10 minutes to play. I’m not sure how seriously in danger the Swans were of losing, even though we did bring the margin back to seven points not once but twice. This wasn’t the same Swans team that played second-placed Collingwood off the park the previous week, but it was the same Swans team that was going for seven wins in a row and a top-four finish. It made for a slightly-more-interesting, almost-fun finish to what was an otherwise odd game, and to the season. But Kent got an ugly bounce at half-back and the Swans pounced. Will Hayward had been presenting problems all evening and played a Diet Cam Rayner role in getting a win over the Saints with some clutch final quarter moments. The first had a lot to do with Dougal completely missing the ball with his fist on the goal line (although he still tried to claim it was touched); Butler got one back courtesy of a sloppy kick out of full back from Lloyd that was chopped off and his dribbler got an ultra-high bounce that just got over the line ahead of Rampe’s fingertips. But Rowbottom won a centre wing clearance and the Swans, again, ran hardest. Wilkie got a fist in ahead of Buddy and Hayward charged onto the spill and finished the game with a high snap kick. We had come so close to Wharfie Time twice during Sunday.

***

The game itself won’t be remembered for too much from a Saints point of view apart from Hannebery showing what could have been, Max King turning 0.5 into 5.0, and Ben Long playing the game of his life. As I said, last games of the season can bring some strange things, and Ben did several things he hadn’t done before – 27 disposals (at 96% efficiency), 17 marks, 13 intercepts, and eight rebounds out of defensive 50, all career-highs – with a couple of thrilling marks and a goal to boot. It wasn’t quite Peter Everitt’s 7.7 in the last game of 1996, or a very young Nick Riewoldt’s six in Stewart Loewe’s last game in 2002, or a less young Nick Riewoldt’s nine goals in the final round of 2016, but it is the template of a game for him to build the rest of his career off. Always looking to make something happen, to get something moving, physically uncompromising, high-flying, and very entertaining. Sign him up.

***

In his final game, Dan Hannebery led all comers for disposals and probably retained his status as our best field kick, and best disposer of the ball generally. Like Paddy Ryder, he looks out of place in a St Kilda team; he still looks like a player from a really good, slick outfit. We’ve forgotten what that looks like over the years. Much like Adam Schneider’s last game in front of Sydney and St Kilda in late 2015, it was the Swans fans that ultimately had more to be appreciative about. Schneider played the bulk of his career with us and was a big part of the 2008-2010 teams; but he was responsible for some of the worst misses on 2009 Grand Final Day, and he was the player that booted us out of 2005 in the Preliminary Final and helped the Swans break a 72-year premiership drought a week later. Hannebery’s story is much more lopsided, a champion at the Swans, premiership player, three-time All-Australian, played in three Grand Finals for them, and even chaired off former teammate Jarrod McVeigh after the last game of 2019. Josh Kennedy reciprocated on Sunday, alongside Jack Steele. It’s a shame it didn’t work out at the Saints. It wasn’t for lack of trying, and every time he took the field he was among our better players.

***

Hannebery and Ryder (in a St Kilda polo) got chaired off, while Dean Kent soaked up his last moments on the field as an AFL footballer. A moment of appreciation, of gathering at the race, in front of the cheer squad and the members. Not quite as if there had been a win, perhaps more relief. It’s an achievement as a fan to get through the season. Footy’s exhausting, whether or not you’re in the top four at the halfway mark. St Kilda is exhausting. Matt said the Collingwood game felt like it was just a few weeks ago. It does, but it also really feels like we’ve seen a lot of ups and big comedown since. This season that was effectively a mash-up of 1999 and 2019.

You take in the mostly Swans supporters who stayed around after the last goal having a kick on the ground. You give in and call Marvel Stadium “Marvel” instead of the Corporate Dome, or the Concrete Dome, or the Concrete Disney Store. You buy yourself a donut because why the hell not. You catch the tram home. You go through the Twitter feed to see what everyone else thought of the game. You watch the post-match press conference. There is a small time now for respite. To take a breath. In a world of pandemics and Putins, there is a moment to take in spring in Melbourne.

***

The club agreed with Gerard’s assessment “mid-table ordinary”. It’s time for a review. We’d gone from re-signing a coach to undertaking a review of the club’s football operations in a matter of weeks. Gerard went back to a forensic breakdown of the Andrew Bassat interview during the heady days of the mid-season bye. “There’s no doubt he’s coaching really well,” said the president, who also talked about confidence in the whole set-up. So what the fuck happened? Did the whole club get together for a heart-to-heart over the bye and discussed how they could shit it?

“I will not pretend the likelihood of missing finals again this year was part of the plan, nor hide my disappointment,” Bassat said in another notable letter to members. “We are not shying away from challenging whether our belief that we can soon break out of the stagnant sixth-to-tenth ladder position that has trapped many clubs is realistic.” Dwayne asked listeners that if Max hadn’t kicked 0.5 and we snuck into the finals would there be a review, but it seems like it was already in train. One listener got the Mystery Craft Beer Bundle courtesy of Hairydog for calling up and saying the club was on the front foot and being proactive.

Was a semi-final appearance in a pandemic-smashed season this group’s peak? Derm said we’re kidding ourselves if we thought this was the list that would take us to a premiership. Now there’s talk of Brad Hill leaving (and Alastair Clarkson was enthusiastic about it on On the Couch). We didn’t get enough out of Hannebery. We wish we could have got even more from Paddy Ryder; Zak Jones has had an unfortunately messy period.

There were 12 years between the 1997 and 2009 Grand Final appearances. This year marks 12 years since our last Grand Final appearance (well, appearances); this time we’re armed with the longest premiership drought in the competition after the Dogs, Tigers and Demons all saluted in that period. In another life Paddy McCartin didn’t have all those concussions, and we were able to develop Jack Billings and Luke Dunstan and Blake Acres into something else. Or maybe we drafted Bontempelli and Petracca anyway. Whatever.

We left Round 1 as the worst-placed team in the competition, and after being in the top four at the halfway point of the season we may have returned to that place again. In some kind of way, the club is lost.

Until you fall it’s painless

Round 22, 2022
St Kilda 3.1, 4.2, 9.7, 9.12 (66)
Brisbane Lions 3.2, 7.6, 8.8, 12.9 (81)
Crowd: 22,211 at Docklands, Friday, August 12th at 7.50pm


We’ve been living dangerously since the bye. Not in the thrilling way of playing the brash, daring footy that had us busting games open and in the top four at the halfway point of the season. We’ve been living dangerously by playing stop-start, non-threatening, inoffensive footy. Getting pushed off the ball, outworked comprehensively, looking disinterested.

Three years ago it was a trip to Kardinia Park that ended Richo’s reign. Last week we left the Cattery still wondering whether the problem was the “kickers” or the “catchers”, and we also left sitting outside of the eight as Richmond comfortably accounted for Port. Our chances and our time were running out. Top four fancies Brisbane and Sydney to come, while those around is could enjoy much kinder draws. Subconsciously it became that time of year for winding down and reflecting. Sandringham’s season was officially over after their own two-point loss to the Cats, with their decline occurring in sync with the AFL side’s. The anticipation of Thursday night teams had gone. No one was smacking the door down. What’s the most exciting thing that can happen at selection? Hannebery plays and is subbed out again? Jones was named an emergency, and then the sub, again. He hasn’t quite made the impact this year since missing the early part of the season with personal reasons. I hope he’s ok. Sharman was back to being named in the forward line after the club put him at centre half back for the Cats. D-Mac had regressed back to “calf awareness”.

Meanwhile, Big Boy McEvoy retired the week after playing the 250th game of a career that has seen him win two premierships and captain Hawthorn. His trade is a symbol of our recruiting and drafting in the post-Grand Finals/Seaford era never working out, no matter all of Pelchen’s grand plans. Nick Riewoldt pantsed the McEvoy decision on Best On Ground the week before (and keeping in mind he was at the club to see it all unfold). Perhaps the overall result had a lot to do with the development of player during the Richo era (we still don’t know if that’s changed). The week’s major news item was Patrick Cripps being suspended, and an appeal being rejected, and then a second appeal successful. Those still dreaming of the Saints snatching a September spot now had to worry about Cripps being free to play affecting the top eight permutations, and I was thinking about him lifting the Blues to a memorable win in one of the final two rounds while we barnstormed our way to two upsets over premiership contenders for nothing.

On AFL 360 Extra Nick and Joey talked about bringing effort and went with their hearts and tipped the Saints. Gerard’s word association on SEN for the Saints was “Show us what it means to you”. It decidedly hasn’t meant much since the bye. I listened to SEN on Friday afternoon before heading in and having dinner in the Quill Room. I tried to enjoy the anticipation of what might be the last St Kilda game this year with something on the line. Channel 7 released their broadcast introduction package during the afternoon. Perhaps for the final time in 2022, the Saints were in a highlights package that suggested we were relevant with the Geelongs and Melbournes and Collingwoods and Sydneys and Brisbanes and Fremantles and Richmonds of the footy world.

***

Every game since the bye has had some aspect of a mini-final to it, but this started in a haphazard way more befitting a dead rubber, despite the playing group and coaches forming a circle in the rooms for a pre-match heart-to-heart. Silky Wilkie, one of our two most reliable players all year misread the flight of a wayward Lions shot on goal and dropped what would have been on the full next to the behind post. Snags broke through with the first after Marshall finally cleared it out of the Lions’ forward 50, Long broke through with some good pressure and Snags decided to just turn and go for it from inside the centre square without barely a glance. The ball rolled through.

But the footy was going to live in the Lions’ front half for most of first two quarters, and only some good pressure and tackling on our part – and some misses from the Lions – kept us in it. Their talls were having a say early. We got caught napping with a Hipwood bullet pass to McCluggage on a good angle (he missed), while on the other side of the ground Daniher took a big mark on the wing and his kick found a high-leaping Charlie Cameron who went back and kicked the goal. From the centre bounce, Neale snatched it from the tap down and gave off to McCluggage who was away and goaled on the run. It would be the first of several goals they’d kick directly from a centre bounce. Moments as easy as those defied the magnitude of the consequences of a loss.

We could barely find our way out of their high press when we got the ball in defence and we were reduced to the toothless movement as seen in the worst of the pre-season and the last 10 weeks. If we weren’t bombing it on Max’s head trying to get it into the front half it was Dougal trying to spear a pass through defence that went straight to Mason Wood, only to be dropped off the chest. Marshall finally took a get-out mark which ended in King’s first behind of the night as he kicked it on his right instead of his left under pressure from close range.

The game was slowly wrestled back. Two goals came from throw-ins on centre wing. Lienert grabbed it out of the ruck and gave it to Ross, and the ball went through NWM, back to Lienert and to Windhager who sped away and under heat from Lachie Neale found Membrey in the pocket. The post-goal celebration led to the first of multiple push and shoves featuring Dayne Zorko. Then, as our tackle count ticked over to 28 courtesy of NWM, Ross harried the ball out, Mitchito led into it and turned on a dime into space, took a bounce and found Wood, who kicked the kind of raking goal that only left-footers can kick. We were in front.

But Brisbane won it out of the middle again. The Big O got down low and handballed off to McCluggage, who hit up a perfect pass to Hipwood on the lead (Sharman was in defence after all, and was trailing behind). Hipwood kicked the goal as the siren sounded, making it three of the last five quarters in which our opposition had kicked a goal with the last possession of the term.

***

A team that prided itself on blue-collar pressure and repeat efforts – which prompted Ross Lyon to tell Saints fans to get about earlier in the season – was about to get physical. Long barrelled through Daniel Rich at half-forward, and then Crouch copped Gardiner high on the wing as he kicked. It was unruly but it was about the temperature the game required. Crouch now had to deal with Payne, Prior and Coleman in the latest push and shove. It was nice to see Mitchito getting involved. Windhager got involved in the other spotfires that broke out during the game too. Lienert was mouthy as well.

But the problems with the footy in hand remained. Stop, start, going nowhere fast.

The second quarter was all about holding on and hoping the Lions didn’t completely blow the game open. Daniher rose in the pocket and snapped a goal. They were getting big returns from their talls. Again the game was hemmed into the Lions’ 50. Wood’s attempted exit was smothered, Berry and Neale pounced on it and McCarthy fended off Sinclair, marked, and kicked another.

A Sharman spoil and follow-up should have yielded a valuable goal on the rebound and against the run of play, but Snags decided to kick it over King’s head instead of handballing inboard to Butler streaming into 50. Brisbane immediately took the footy around the other side of the field; Rayner gave a taste of things to come with a strong mark on the wing, Bailey was on and drove it forward and it had circled its way back to Sharman, who almost held onto it but the ball spilled out and Cameron found Hipwood for an easy goal. Hipwood lined up a few moments later and a flaccid two-on-two on the goal line was won by McStay. The margin was 26 points. It was the bad old days of the Watters and Richo eras (did the Richo era ever end?) with every opposition forward entry looking dangerous.

***

A rare venture forward found Seb who was smart enough to pinpoint a kick laterally on the 50-metre arc. Wood stood up again for a second week with a long-range goal when we really needed one. But this was looking more like the Lions’ chance for a percentage boost in their race for a top two spot.

Would it be too much to ask that we could do exactly what the Lions’ opposition over the past two weeks did in the second half? Brisbane has given up a 40-point lead to the Tigers, and then looked like they’d returned to their best for three quarters last week, getting out to a 57-point lead at three-quarter time before nearly shitting it (much like we did in Round 12 of 1997, getting out to a 57-point lead at the final change – almost the same scoreline – against the Blues at Waverley before almost giving the whole thing up).

During the week on AFL 360 Extra Nick said the team needed to “go down swinging”. After yet another half of footy of being unsure how to move it, it was going be fascinating in the least to see what they tried to do after having all of the half-time break to talk about it. Snags spent the half-time break concocting something else altogether, marking on the 50 and drawing the arsiest 50-metre penalty known to science by baiting Zorko into chasing Lienert running past with a feigned handball. Lienert and Zak Jones tried getting stuck into Zorko, reluctantly drawing former St Kilda supporter Jarryd Lyons into the fray.

Again, the Lions got one immediately out of the middle – this time Rayner had the class to bomb a goal on the run from 55 metres. The margin was a precarious 23 points. The Lions didn’t have it all their way – Windhager was in the throes of another career-building performance restricting Lachie Neale to just 16 touches while getting 21 himself, levelling the midfield battle, although Neale still good enough to get involved in goal-scoring chains. But we had Jack Steele kept to just 13 touches, and most importantly the Lions were ruthless in getting the ball back and putting it into a dangerous spot.

We’ve made a habit of third-quarter bursts this year, with different end results. In Round 1, we were 35 points down in the third and hit the front early in the last. Six goals in Perth in Round 2 flipped the Freo game our way. We stormed over the top of Richmond after trailing by 25 a week later; then managed a 28-2 third term against GWS to bring the game onto our terms. We kicked six goals in a row against the Cats after being down by 22. We’d also booted five goals in a row against the Bombers to draw level. Our season was going to need one more added to the list, and then some.

We had a period of holding the ball in our 50 through a series Max King-in-the-ruck throw-ins and stoppages, but we needed reward for effort. It was Mason Wood again, living up to his early-career billing, who broke through. Daniel Rich cleared the area with a shallow kick; Wood was at the fall and got his skates on, baulked Lyons on 50 and his kick floated through. Something had indeed been said at half-time. The switch had been flicked. There was movement. There was space. Kickers and catchers were briefly united. Snags got it on the wing and sent it long with Wood one-on-one the target; he dropped the mark but recovered quickest, got up, baulked one and hit up NWM who moved it on to Membrey just a few metres away.

But things were about to take a devastatingly curious turn. Max had had a shot from nearly 50 earlier in the quarter that you might think would have been a lot-less pressure-filled for him given his track record closer to the sticks, and now here he was taking a huge grab in front of goal in a pack of six from a Windhager kick. The crowd was getting into the game. This St Kilda ploy looked familiar. But Max went back and missed from 25 metres. He’d gone to 0.3. It was about to be revealed that his confidence was shot. Matt said when he was lining up he was a zero per cent chance of kicking it, so perhaps parts of the crowd were already realising what was happening. Zak Jones then punched a short kick to Membrey on a sharp angle from 40 metres out – a shot I absolutely trusted more than Max King in front; Membrey kicked it. We had the run and we’d taken the Lions out of their comfort zone. Brisbane are the highest scoring team in the competition, and their games average more than 181 total points this year. They were stuck on eight goals.

We hit the front a few moments later. Gardiner tried cutting through the middle to McCluggage but we were awake to it. NWM chopped it off, Ross gave it off to Butler, who had been largely anonymous, but here he put in a great run around Starcevich, took a bounce and hit Wood on the lead. Wood kicked his fourth.

We’d now kicked four in a row. Six of the last seven. And it was going to be our last goal for the game.

***

The end of the third quarter was the time to really put a gap between us and the Lions. Premiership quarter and all that. We didn’t yet have them on the ropes, but we would if we kept landing our punches. “Go down swinging”. Lachie Neale was getting frustrated under Windhager’s close checking and gave away a 50-metre penalty to Hill, who found Membrey with a short pass. Membrey, reliable and a leader, went back and missed. Sinclair got the ball back at high half-forward and as he wound up King took a soft dive after contact with Harris Andrews off the ball and was given another shot from 25 out on next to no angle. Matt, immediately, again said he had a zero per cent chance of kicking it. Max leant back on the kick and in that moment a new type of crowd reaction noise dropped. Two chances to go up by beyond a goal in the last 100 seconds of the quarter had been missed by both spearheads. Just take one of them and the game has a different complexion.

You get swept up in the moment. Just like the penultimate game of last year against the Cats, the exhaustion and resignation of several weeks of playing out the clock on another disappointing season gives way to sudden pang of desperation. Wait, no, I want this. It’s still there, it’s still live. I want it.

Swamp reminded us during the week that we’ve offered 60 opposition players the honour of winning that week’s Rising Star nominations, by far the most in the competition. We decided to run a little with that theme on Friday, rolling out the carpet for Cam Rayner to announce himself as the Dustin Martin/Jordan de Goey-style match-winner he’d promised to be when he was taken with Pick 1 in 2017. Starcevich and the Big O were too strong at a bounce in the middle after we’d spent some time forward; Lienert fresh-aired a marking attempt on the defensive 50 and then went to ground, Hipwood swept it away targeting McStay. Rayner was at the fall, split Hunter Clark and Sinclair and quickly and cleanly snapped around the body. Yet again Brisbane went straight of the middle; McInerny worked off Marshall, out to Zorko, and nearly everyone got drawn to the fall of the chaos ball at the front of Daniher, but Hipwood was the one who got to it and Rayner had held his position the whole time. The Lions, suddenly, were out by more than a kick.

Who wants to win you the match? Who wants the ball in their hands? Steele, our captain, found the ball on his own from a turnover in the middle and kicked it to the advantage of a Brisbane defender. Lienert cruised through the middle as we kept looking to move the footy quickly and hit up Max on the lead to steady things Max might have broken new Murmurs McKenzie decibels territory as he lined up. Maybe this time the distance of this would take some of the pressure off after the last couple of shots. He spun the ball around in his hands, leant back on the kick and missed to the right.

Rich took the kick in and hit Zorko, who went up the wing and Hunter Clark pinched it from McCarthy’s hands and then lost control. If he’d held onto it he had Long and Ross ready inside to turn and go for the repeat 50 entry. But instead, Neale broke the Windhager shackles and swept through, and his long ball sat up for the running Daniher. Two goals the margin.

We had two more easy opportunities to get within a kick with more than eight minutes and then more than seven minutes of play remaining. Ross worked to the 50 and Sinclair took a great mark with heat oncoming, and kicked to Windhager, rather than the slightly more central option of Sharman, in the pocket.

His kick went to the right.

Membrey had another turn from a kind angle a minute later after Hill took the advantage when Mitchito caught Harris Andrews holding the ball.

He missed to the left.

The Lions fans at the away end were now taunting the home team. They were delighted. They had nothing to be afraid of. Our best and our spearheads and our leaders weren’t going to get it done. There would be no Max King quarter. No Snags quarter. Strangely, there was a Mason Wood quarter, but Mason Wood’s best game in years – possibly his best game ever – wasn’t going to be enough (he deserved to have a match-winning performance). King and Membrey et al. opened up the door for Rayner to seal the game with a mark on the lead and a snap around the corner from the forward pocket with four and a half minutes to go. We now have high-definition images and footage of Cam Rayner coming into his own against the Saints, ending their season, and telling the St Kilda home crowd to keep quiet.

***

The inside 50 count in the final quarter was 18 to seven. That’s 18 to the Saints, mind you, and seven for the Lions, who kicked 4.1 from those entries. We kicked 0.5.

The time for live ladders and permutations and what ifs – “what ifs” of the ladder predictor type – was now over. The rest of the weekend was about letting the results roll. Watching the Dogs and Blues’ own sliding doors moments that barely affected our own fortunes; really it was about keeping an eye on the inevitable Richmond result that relayed our season is officially over (and no, relying on the Bulldogs to lose as well as Carlton losing and beating the Swans while making up 142 points to reel back the Blues on percentage this weekend doesn’t count). Now it’s time for the retrospective “what ifs”. Six months of wondering. What if Max kicked just one of those goals? What if Tim Membrey did? (It’s harder to get as upset about Windhager’s.) We have plenty of time to get excited about Mitchito and Marcus in the coming years if the club doesn’t fuck up their development like it has so many others. We’ve got a season to mourn for now. Windhager might have kept Neale to just 16 touches but Neale looked as happy as every other one of his teammates on the siren.

How reductive can we be in the fall-out of this? Our method wasn’t excellent (certainly not for four quarters) but it feels like this week’s culprit out of the “kickers” and the “catchers” was the catchers – in particular, the catchers’ kicking. How much do you lay the blame on Max King for the result? Or, as the harsher comments would suggest, for us missing the finals? We were still relying on other results either way. I’m wary that Max is a young guy under a lot of pressure (he is also recompensed handsomely and has all the access in the world to psychological help at any time). I’m also wary that while Ratten said some of the right things in the post-match press conference (“I want to go to war with Max”); he also said “He won’t be seeing anybody outside the club, he doesn’t need to. We’ve got people with the skillset to keep working there.” Well, fucking do we? We have a player who should be a generational talent who looks defeated just by the prospect of having a shot on goal; who’s otherwise been manhandled by multiple opponents and has Sherrins bombed on top of his head by teammates that for a lot of the season have been unsure what they’re doing with the footy. Max almost single-handedly guided us to a few wins this year (including kicking 6.0), but when he drops his head he drops his fucking head and he doesn’t have the technique to hold him up. He kicked 1.5 against the Cats last year in another performance that cost us a game that might have changed the trajectory of the season, we got away with his 1.7 against the Giants this year, not so much with his 2.2 with a huge miss in the last quarter from close range against the Power in another game we can point to that might have cost us a finals spot; there was 2.5 against the Hawks, and now 0.5 in another important game. By Sunday, the Herald Sun was reporting the club was actually open to outside help. Maybe Ratten doesn’t know better, maybe Jarryd Roughead doesn’t, maybe Andrew Bassat doesn’t, but maybe Max does and maybe Matthew Lloyd does. Emma declared after the game, “now he is a deflated boy with a large moustache”.

But this is all part of a season ending in a hot-headed rush of watching shots at goal pissed away with a game there for the taking. Max has been the most inaccurate of the top handful of goal kickers in the competition over the past three years, Joey highlighted on First Crack. But really, our problems since the bye have run much deeper than Max. We’re not 3-7 since the bye because of Max’s accuracy or inaccuracy. The gap between his best and worst is emblematic of the gap between the best and worst of this team, a team – perhaps by design – that even in the brighter times of early 2022 relied too much on bursts of good footy. We’re back to being confounded by the relationship between kickers and catchers. We’re back to being outworked, back to being pushed off the ball, back to looking a little disinterested. We’re back outside the eight. Those great wins throughout the season – Freo in Perth, storming over Richmond, a day out on the MCG in the April sunshine against Hawthorn, a fighting victory over the Giants, Paddy Ryder (in a St Kilda jumper) leading us to a win over the Cats, charging home over the Crows in Adelaide; a wonderful undermanned win against the Blues on a Friday night – none of those games matter anymore.

Maybe we did reach the “No D-Mac, no St Kilda timeline” after all.

One week to go.

There’s just another thing

Round 21, 2022
Geelong Cats 6.4, 8.5, 12.7, 17.8 (110)
St Kilda 3.0, 7.1, 7.4, 10.5 (65)
Crowd: 20,583 at Kardinia Park, Saturday, August 6th at 7.25pm


Just as Gerard declared on 360 that it’s time for urgency, we strung together two indifferent wins in a row against lowly opposition. The West Coast win was important, because we got the job done. The Hawthorn win was almost a 1999-echo calamity – we settled for a 2021 Collingwood escape – but according to some it was important, because we got the job done.

Brett Ratten cracked the shits after the game saying there was a lot of negativity towards the Saints. “We won the game of footy. Everyone can keep looking at how negative the Saints are and what the Saints are doing but we won a game of footy. So it would be nice for people to say yeah, ‘Well done’ for a change.” I mean, sure. It’s great to have someone aggressively taking a stand for the club. Do we take the first two and a half quarters of the Hawthorn game as representative of the St Kilda fighting to keep 2022 alive or the last 15 minutes when we almost pissed it away? The answer is both; just like last year, they both co-exist, and what “getting the job done” looks like to us simply wasn’t going to get the job done against a decent team.

The club wheeled out highlights of the last time we won at the Cattery – all the way back in 1999, in a stirring comeback led by Ben Walton that took us to 7-3 after Round 10. It looked like the team of 1997 and the first 16 weeks of 1998 had returned, but that would be the peak of the Tim Watson era. Just a couple of weeks later was that Hawthorn debacle before a loss to bottom-placed Collingwood, and we finished the season with just three more wins. This year has been very similar.

Geelong had won 10 in a row and hadn’t lost a game since…well, the last time we played them, when Ben Long and Marcus Windhager had massive days across half forward and the wing; Paddy Ryder – who was at the time wearing a St Kilda jumper – kicked three goals, and we turned the game with a third-quarter blitz. But now, 11 weeks later, we were trading entirely on “maybe the Cats are due to lose one” (especially after we avoided the absurdly large banana peel scenario of Geelong having the loss they had to have last week against one of our rivals for eighth spot). Our footy has regressed, matches featuring St Kilda have become forgettable. Collingwood and Melbourne reminded us all on Friday what a genuinely good game of footy looks like.

***

As it got closer to game time it looked like Geelong might actually be wondering if they should take it easy this week after the Joel Selwood 350 celebrations, and get in a rest for some guys before the finals. A scramble over the Thursday night selection that went right up to the opening bounce saw Joel Selwood rested, Blicavs a late out (but also managed), 2009 Grand Final Sprint winner Rhys Stanley rushed back in, Jon Ceglar relegated to sub, Dangerfield twinge his calf in the warm-up, and all of Menegola, Tuohy and Dahlhaus brought in late.

So maybe they were due for a loss after all, and from our perspective something a result we’d been inching towards since getting pantsed in 2013 and 2014. “I’m feeling the Saints tonight”, Matt said. I have to admit, part of me thought we might be competitive, or rather, didn’t want to give up on the season just yet, just as we had to at the Cattery late last year. Our selection moves didn’t quite feature the blue-chip names that the Cats’ did – Owens was kept, Jones was the sub, Sharman stayed in even with Dougal back. The St Kilda site sprang a feature on Cooper Sharman’s switch into defence on game day, but he was spotted in the opening minutes deep in the forward line working with Hill to set up Sinclair for the first at the construction end. (I went to Kardinia Park for the first time ever early this year for an AFLW game and even with a quarter of it missing I could not believe Geelong has a whole stadium like that to themselves).

The well-worn notion of “Geelong’s bigger bodies” came into play early. Steele only found the footy three times in the first quarter and Hannebery four. Atkins, De Koning, and Menegola all worked through traffic to drive the ball forward to Hawkins and Dougal, and there was nothing Dougal could do to get around Hawkins’ strength. We weren’t doing ourselves any favours when we actually had the ball. Max King at half-forward kicked it straight to Parfitt, and the Cats cut a path through the middle (and some mild resistance) for another.

Six goals were kicked in the last seven minutes of play of the first quarter, including four in the last three minutes. Rhys drove went out of the middle and Matt Stevic resumed St Kilda duties after the Fremantle debacle with a touchy free kick against Dougal to Hawkins, who was already eyeing off a re-entry into the Coleman Medal race. The Cats got another one from a 50-metre penalty and it took Mason Wood to show some real attack on the footy at half-forward and draw a high free kick from Duncan (despite the new interpretations) and be good enough to finish with a long goal for a breakthrough. But Duncan got one back on the siren, and there was a hill to climb.

We came out of the first change looking much more awake. We caught the Cats napping with short passes from Mitchito in the forward pocket to Butler and to Membrey to improve the angle. It was seven minutes of play before Skunk kicked the goal, but we were up 6-0 in the inside 50s count. Long smothered a Cameron kick on the wing and ran the footy up with Seb and Snags, who accidentally found Max in the pocket. Max ignored a couple of options to improve the angle as he did last week – although he was a bit closer to goal this time and probably wouldn’t have attracted the same type of feedback from Mason Wood – and kicked the goal around the left.

The tempo had lifted. This looked more like a game between the premiership favourite and a finals contender. Webster got caught deep in defence by Parfitt in a scramble and the ball immediately ended up with Isaac Smith in the square, while Steele made his impact catching Menegola up the other end and bending a goal through. We then pulled off one of the better passages of play of the night – Paton off half-back, out wide to Sinclair, to Hill, who cut inside to Windhager; Sinclair kept running the length of the slim wing and passed to Snags at half-forward who almost ruined the whole thing with a chopped-off kick to

Mitchito, but redeemed himself by cutting off a Geelong handball, and King squeezed it out to Butler. Somehow, it was just four points.

We finished the quarter with 16 to five inside 50s, but with their fifth the Cats, again, managed a late one on the siren, this time through Stengle. They’d kicked two goals in the final seconds of both quarters and held a 10-point lead. It wasn’t the end of the world, although it might be the end of the season.

***

All of this was happening in a manic few hours that featured all of 6th, 8th, 9th, and 10th on the ladder. Over the week we were calculating the good and the (much more probable) bad outcomes. Fremantle beating the Dogs was good for the here and now, but also it might mean Sydney are playing fourth spot when we face them in the final game of the year, rather than having top four locked up and coasting like when we played the Dockers in the last game of 2013, although if results go our way it might be a little closer to the Round 24, 2011 scenario when we faced the Blues at the MCG on a Saturday night. But really, 2022 is shaping as a “choose your own adventure” of how to miss the finals. While we were trying to get into the game at the Cattery, Richmond had kicked a goal after the quarter-time siren themselves over in Adelaide to get some breathing space.

So much for all the permutations Saturday; while the Bulldogs did us a favour (they’re still every chance to finish above us anyway) we didn’t bother kicking a goal in the third quarter. There’s been some real letdown games over the years with our season on the line, or real stakes up for grabs, against fellow finals aspirants. A thumping in 1998 at the hands of reigning and eventual premiers Adelaide (backed up by a smacking by bottom-of-the-ladder Hawthorn) as the season spiralled out of control, a smashing in Perth against Fremantle late in 2006 to decide a top four spot, a meek effort in a play-off for top spot against Collingwood at the MCG in 2010 in front of more than 81,000, and barely moving the footy against North in 2016 in a game that helped decide our ninth positioning.

Jeremy Cameron got back into the game. He kicked the first of the second half and then found Hawkins for the next as errors crept back into our game; Cameron had got the ball because Sharman had tried coaxing Long to run onto the footy at centre half-forward, which was a neat idea to things moving, but the kick went straight to Kolodjashnij and the Cats were away.

Even without Selwood, Blicavs and Dangerfield we were getting thrown off the ball in close and around the ground, and their lesser lights were having big nights anyway. Dahlhaus, Parfitt and Atkins at a centre bounce? No worries. Parfitt had 10 clearances, Menegola joined him at the top of their possession count with 25, and the guy that Geelong strangely (at the time) traded a future first round pick for, Max Holmes, was right there with them. Atkins and Guthrie outworked Crouch and Paton at a ball up on the wing and within a flash Smith was running into goal and all of a sudden it was 27 points. Holmes took it out 33 points at the 15-minute mark after Paton found a bouncing ball in the back pocket and under inferred pressure kicked straight to Holmes, who slotted it from 50. We’d only lost the inside-50 count 11 to 15, but Geelong kicked 4.2 to 0.3. The presence and leadership of Dan Hannebery wasn’t going to help this one.

Our forward line was back to dysfunctional. Three years after leaving Kardinia Park losers in a game that sealed the fate of the Richo era, we leave the Cattery yet again wondering if it was the “kickers” or the “catchers”. Score from turnovers was 7.4 to 2.3, Ratts said after the game, which meant we weren’t using the ball well. He called our ball use “hard to watch”. “Sometimes under no pressure, medium pressure or high pressure,” Ratts said. I think that’s code for “all the time”. That said, De Koning was all over Max. The last we met they were compared to Jakovich and Carey. Jakovich won a few of those battles. This was another game in which you wished Max had a little more campaigner about him, and perhaps could rise above the state of play further up the ground to make some sort of impact (granted, that can be hard when they’re scrubbing the ball to the opposition). Battle and Sharman and Membrey flipping between half-forward and half-back didn’t really work, although Sharman had a lot of almost moments in the front half.

A hallmark of the first half of the year that took us to fourth spot was that this was now a resilient team. The team of 2021 that gave up in the face of anything remotely difficult has returned since the bye (Grant Thomas arced up this week and amongst other things said we were poorly led). Things were about to reach the morbid curiosity stage and I was embarrassed we were doing this in front of Jason Bennett. Three-quarter time was time for the weekly Dan Hannebery injury update; normal programming has resumed and he was being subbed out with an ankle possibly linked to his calf. This was supposed to be season in which the ins and outs list were dominated “AFL Health and Safety Protocols” more than muscles made out of tissue paper. And just as Richmond were kicking away from Port Adelaide, the goals were getting softer. Smith got his third within the first 30 seconds from the goal square, Hawkins, Miers, and Smith linked up before finding Zack Guthrie coasting on his own on 50 and he found Cameron. Paton attempted to get something going through the middle but put the handball to Owens on the ground; he tried getting it out to Hill but they were immediately swarmed by O’Connor, Atkins, Parfitt, and Miers. The ball was worked out wide inside 50 to Cameron whose funny kick was run onto by Close, who strolled through the forward pocket around Wilkie and into goal. Menegola made it 58 points. How much could we lose by? We didn’t have our first of the second half until there was nine minutes of play left in the quarter. Paton found himself in another bad situation, getting rundown on the wing while waiting for something to appear ahead of the play, and then Zach Guthrie made things a little bit funny, going forward and taking a big mark in attack and kicking a goal.

We absolutely didn’t deserve to kick the last two to bring the margin back from 57 to 45 points. We were within four points until the final seconds of the second quarter, sure, but we were wiped off the park from then. This really should have been edging on 10 goals and 45 felt a little flattering. The club didn’t even bother putting a caption to the final score graphic tweet. A bad night for St Kilda, but a decent night for The Fable Singers enthusiasts as Geelong – at least for one night – ditched the weird cover version was offered to the clubs at the start of 2018 (and which the St Kilda board were silly enough to be baited by AFL into using until this year).

We came to Geelong armed with Dan Hannebery and our season in our hands. We left without both. Tim Watson’s reign continues.

***

Ratts said after the game that ineffective or clanger kicks have been high throughout the year “and we’re trying to address it”. He said “the big one will be caring about your possessions”, which was a bit like when Ross the ex-boss told Sean Dempster in The Bubble that he had to work on his football. All these kinds of conversations over the past few weeks, so late in the season – giving more, and more honest feedback to your teammates, “caring about your possessions” – really should just be a January check-in if that. Non-negotiables in an AFL team.

Amid all the fallout from the Crows’ 2018 camp it was this week that Rory and myself made the discovery that Collective Mind had worked with St Kilda in the mid-2010s. According to Collective Mind’s website, in a remarkable bit of spin, St Kilda “became competitive again moving up on the ladder from 18th to equal 8th”, which is referring to our meteoric rise in 2016 to…ninth, and no, that’s not finals. This club has proven more than capable to be perfectly poor-to-mediocre all on its own, with or without Collective Mind.

We’re a loss on Friday night and a Richmond win on Sunday away from the season being over. And let’s not get cute with making up the percentage on Carlton; if that’s our path, crystal balling that shows a circa 130-point win over the Swans would be required. (And yes, we did win by 108 points in the very last game of 2008 to get into the top four, but everything about that was entirely different.) There is a pang of jealousy as Collingwood gets the highlights package and effusive praise on SEN and 360, as Melbourne looks to go back-to-back, as Geelong sits on top – their era in which they knocked us off in a Grand Final never really ended – as the Swans storm back into premiership contention (already!), as the Blues vie for a finals spot a little more realistically than us, and with a big future ahead, and as Freo returns to September. At the halfway mark we looked like we could finally live up to the “story of the season” billing that The Age prematurely went with early in 2019. But it’s the same problems of kickers and catchers, and being too nice, and not being able to hit a target, and finding ourselves out of the eight with just two weeks left in the season.

We could drag it out

Round 20, 2022
St Kilda 2.2, 5.7, 9.10, 10.15 (75)
Hawthorn 1.2, 1.5, 4.6, 9.9 (63)
Crowd: 25,348 at Docklands, Saturday, July 30th at 4.35pm


Bizarrely, ridiculously, possibly a little perversely, St Kilda is in the eight with three weeks of the home and away season remaining.

St Kilda has been toggling between irrelevancy and moody doom vignette territory on On the Couch and AFL 360. The team that Ross Lyon had earlier this year told Saints fans to “get excited” about was then “bordering on putrid” (BT), an “all-talk footy club” (Garry Lyon), and “sub-AFL standard” and “fraudulent” (Kingy). That team has now scraped together two unconvincing wins against lowly-ranked teams and, somehow, sits clear in the top eight by half a game.

The club felt a little more comfortable putting together a more in-depth episode of Uncut last week (although the shortest one this year has been the most impactful). Seb said he’d copped it from Max during the game. I asked the question last week (many people have) if Max was too nice, or, at least doesn’t have enough campaigner about him yet. So, that was some development we’re hoping for from Max generally, and also from a team perspective given what Ratts had asked of the players following the Bulldogs calamity. But why is this a talking point at the end of July and not a quick check-in in January?

I was absolutely resigned to Saturday evening being the beginning of the end of the season. Our form doesn’t warrant wins against Geelong, nor Brisbane, nor Sydney. Still, 25,000 found their way into the Concrete Dome from the glorious late July sunshine for the beginning of the melancholic indifference tour. Some people on Twitter would have you believe Gresham heading in for surgery was a sign of the club throwing in the towel for the season. Gresham out for the season, Hannebery in. It must be close to August

***

The first quarter was a lot of free-flowing circle work, another week for Saints fans being treated to two teams who had no particular September plans. The tank was on with Sicily dropping an easy mark over the half-back boundary line. Matt said this was the kind of game you’d like to play in – bruise-free, a bit of a runaround, a good work-out for everyone involved. Some great athletic leisure activity on a Saturday.

Marshall was everywhere from the start on the way to perhaps his best career game, appearing at half-back on one side of the ground and then setting up the first on the opposite wing by blocking McEvoy’s rushed kick and delivering to Wood in the attack. He was up forward too; although the only muted groan for his scrubbed kick into the 50 showed the crowd’s investment in this game wasn’t as great as hisl.

Max King kicked off another big day of missing shots at goal after Ben Long spread hard on the half-forward line in a rare moment of initiative for positive ball movement and hit him up with a nice banana kick. Max put it out on the full. Membrey missed a relatively simple set shot. There was comedy on the goal line for Hawks’ first as they went from half-back after Butler missed long with a handball that should have been a kick; Webster spoiled the other J. Koschitzke in the one-on-one in the goal square and Wilkie cruised past to handball over the line only to be tackled by Koschitzke, and the ball spilled out and Gunston kicked it off the ground.

Dan Hannebery, playing an AFL match for the St Kilda Football Club, cut through the low-quality Australian Rules on display. He put on a big tackle in defence, and then put his body on the line in the middle for a squaring ball and got crunched by a Hawk, and then did some bustling work from Mitchito and Windhager justice with an early goal (courtesy of a lucky bounce). “Watch them come from everywhere Jase”, said Garry Lyon in the Fox Footy box, but I thought the big celebration could have been bigger. They didn’t quite come from everywhere.

A two-year deal for Butler was announced as soon as he’d kicked five against the Eagles; this week he was offering at least three clangers heading forward. There was soft cheering for Paton and for-some-reason-now-a-defender Cooper Sharman also signing two-year deals during the week. Hopefully, Sharman’s stint is consigned to history in the same way Malcolm Blight’s 2001 “Barry Hall Experiment” was, although special mention to Sharman’s several excellently-timed thumping spoils as he endeavours to become a regular feature of the Golden Fist.

Membrey, in another low-key 150th for this team, got on board with Butler’s clangers and missed another set shot – he’d got it because Hannebery instinctively knew where to put it – and then outright kicked it to a Hawks player inboard as we tried pushing forward on the members’ side. I was starting to get that feeling that Hannebery was one of the few guys who actually knew what might be on the line or what it might take, and then there was the now traditional panic of seeing the number 10 above the interchange bench and only three Saints players visibly sitting on the pine – none of them Lethlean’s mate’s son. Ah, fuck, I thought. He’s in the rooms. But he was just getting rubbed down on the boundary. He’s a minute-by-minute proposition.

Ball movement was again an issue; long kicks down the line were favoured over of the fast, cutting ball movement off half-back that we displayed against Carlton in the We’re Briefly Good Again match a few weeks ago. The next goal had to come from brute force; most of the players were around the ball-up directly in front of our goal, Ben Long laid one of his nine tackles and Crouch caught Sicily, with ball the falling out Sicily’s grasp just before it went over the line for a rushed behind.

The game was there if either side decided to turn up. We looked not very good, Hawthorn looked quite bad. Sam Mitchell had obviously given everyone a licence to go the torp and it never quite came off – one went straight to Wood and came back, Mitchito competed in the air and Butler was in the perfect spot – they fucked up the 6-6-6 rule twice and gave away a free, and they gave away 50-metre penalties. 

This game had few genuine highlights but we were treated to the funniest goal of the year. Steele found Long again on the spread at half-forward, and his kick to near the top of the goal square should have been marked by Membrey but was dropped. Mitchito kicked off the ground directly towards goal but the ball cannoned straight into Max and then he fresh-aired the follow-up; Snags and Blanck rummaged around for it for a bit, Mitchito got low and Wood had a half-hearted attempt off the ground that looked more like he was tripping over it, Mitchito got low again and tried another shot himself but his kick went straight up and then backwards and was thumped away. Seb was sick of it all and finished it off with a classy kick around the corner.

After multiple times walking back into the rooms at the main change with just two goals to our name, this week the novelty half-time score belonged to the opposition. Hawthorn sat at just 1.5, although we sat at just 5.7. Another week, another showcase of a dysfunctional forward line. Or dysfunctional structure, or lack of connection between the kickers and the catchers, as Richo used to describe it. Richo’s gone and won another premiership at another club but we’re still dealing with the issue. Any serious team would have been up by 50.

***

Skunk finally got his moment in his milestone game. The first-half-of-2022-version of Seb Ross connected with Windhager, on the wing, on to King and back to Ross, his kick hit Mitchito and Sicily, Mitchito competed with Sicily on the ground and got the handball to Snags and gave off to Membrey, who kicked the goal from an angle just inside 50 off a step and across his body. It wasn’t a typical Tim Membrey moment, but it was one of the better ones.

We were making our move but there was still time for self-created calamity. Hannebery nearly put Sinclair in an ambulance twice in a few moments showing a rare lack of awareness, first diving into his legs from behind while they contested a wide kick all by themselves, and then popping out a handball to Sincs with a Hawthorn opponent bearing down on him (somehow, the passage ended with Mitchito getting reward for his efforts up forward). A few moments later Hannebery and Sincs combined on the other side of the ground; Sinclair had “only” 24 touches but was making every quick handball and deft kick count. He found the footy and propped it up to Hannebery; as soon as he got it Matt next to me uttered “he’ll hit someone up here”, and immediately pinpointed a pass to Max, who went back and finally kicked straight. Hannebery (Sincs moments aside) has the reflexive, unflinching nous of someone from a genuinely good football team. I remember that’s what he looked like when he arrived (on the field) in the second half of 2019, and perhaps as an indictment on the rest of the team he still stands out in the exact same way three years, one coach and a pandemic later.

“Well now they’ve got to be ruthless, the Saints,” Jason Dunstall said in special comments. The score was quickly 55 to 11. We had an excellent chance to take it out further but Clark waited a moment too long to give back to Butler on the charge off half-back. The Hawks had reached that “nothing to lose” state and decided to go for it; they cut through the middle and the ball ended up with Butler’s brother. His connection was awful but it went straight and long enough, and then Scrimshaw kicked another directly out of the middle.

***

Snags took a mark tight in the pocket and pushed the margin back out a little further, and then Max missed an easy chance to do the same dose from a throw-in free-kick. Snags burned another one. The Hawks began taking on the corridor more often and with more speed. Another bullet off half-back after Snags’ miss from Moore hit Ward, and then Gunston competed in the air and O’Meara was at fall for the pass to Newcombe who went back and kicked the goal. We’d have to settle for a 34-point lead at the final change.

Going over the replay on Kayo, at half-time Fox Footy played a package of the 1999 Hawthorn and St Kilda game that at the time was the biggest comeback ever – the day St Kilda gave up a 63-point lead while sitting a game off top spot, which was the beginning of the end of 1999 (and the Tim Watson era). This season has had a whiff of both the 1998 and 1999 late-season fade-outs; some 2019, too, with a lot of 2019’s characters thrown in.

We didn’t quite get a repeat of that awful 1999 day. The Hawks had won three in a row coming into this and were no slouches, but we had the incumbency of two 69-point wins over them (nice, etc.). A boring comfortable win that no one would ever want to watch again was the most likely result, especially when first-half-of-2022-version Seb Ross turned over a Hawks rebound and Max got a very, very cheap 50 from Hardwick that took him to the goal line. Instead, we got a repeat of the Collingwood game last year in which the opposition had just two goals on the eve of three-quarter time and we had a 49-point lead at the 29-minute mark of the third quarter. This time, we had a 42-point lead early in the last when Max was gifted that second amongst missed bananas, squirted shots from closer range and low-percentage shots from out wide and at distance while ignoring other leads that drew the visible ire of Ben Long. Add the 2.5 to his 1.5 against the Cats last year and 1.7 against the Giants in Round 6.

(My match notes here simply say “Nuclear bomb 1958, Commonwealth Games???” I’ll owe that on my Twitter feed algorithm.)

Hawthorn went for it, although had to go around another one of Sharman’s several defensive thumps. This became a bit like the Essendon game – we had no answer to a young team putting pace on the ball and we couldn’t win it cleanly enough to control the tempo ourselves. Gunston went long and quick to McEvoy with a perfectly placed kick in between Marshall, Battle and Wood, to bring it to within five goals, and even when Scrimshaw marked and goaled from close range at the 16-minute mark the margin still felt like comfortable enough at all of four goals. But two goals soon after in the space of 81 seconds – that’s including the break in play for the players to go back to position for the centre bounce – brought the margin to 12 points with more than five minutes left and packed out plenty of dacks in the members’. Butler (the Sam one) took on Paton which broke open the run to Ward and the McGuinness; Marshall looked gassed and then Moore ran onto it from close range, and then Big Boy took it out of the middle, and efforts from O’Meara, Mitchell, Moore, and Scrimshaw to keep the ball alive and moving ended with Moore kicking high to a three on one that Membrey couldn’t hold on to and Breust ran onto it. By this time Hawthorn was up 35-17 in the contested footy in the quarter. The Hawks were playing chaos footy that they probably should have started playing 90 minutes earlier. From where we were exactly two months earlier, we’ve become far too used to our season facing its mortality.

It appeared that not even Dan Hannebery’s elite professionalism and on-field direction could halt this one. This was why Fox Footy had bothered sending a near-A team of Huddo, Garry Lyon and Jason Dunstall to call a game that usually would be right in Dwayne’s wheelhouse – a winter’s day under the roof at the Concrete Dome in a nothing timeslot, with two also-ran teams taking it down to the wire begging for Dwayne to proclaim “firestarters” and “That could be ball!” and call it a classic.

So who stands up in these moments? The Silk-Miller Memorial Medal doesn’t have the profile of other best-on-ground awards but Marshall was a worthy recipient in arguably his best-ever game (30 disposals, 35 hit-outs, seven tackles); immediately, at the centre bounce it was he and Crouch (30 touches, 11 tackles and a goal), who has strung together a couple of excellent weeks now, that combined in the middle. Crouch was good enough to drive it deep forward rather than scrub a shallow kick to a dangerous turnover spot. Snags got a good look at it from King but his snap didn’t make it to the line and Sicily took it one-handed. I remember an article in The Age following the 2010 Grand Finals – from memory by Rohan Connolly and written in the weeks or perhaps the year after, rather than the immediate aftermath – and he was talking about how after Goddard’s goal “they only needed score one more time”, or “they only needed to score once”. Or, to put it more simply, without bringing up the GT and Ross eras, a handy point would have been, well, handy. Marshall, effectively an extra midfielder, stood up with a crunching tackle as the Hawks repelled Steele’s entry through McEvoy and Day and Mitchell and Ward. Roma immediately dropped behind the ball and 30 metres from the stoppage that he created, and blocked off a Hawthorn hack kick forward. Hawthorn’s margin for error was tiny and Battle anticipated CJ’s kick into the middle, and Long was there too to give off to Crouch who was able to score that point.

Hawthorn worked the ball back up to their end but Steele and Butler stood up with tackles in defence; Sharman followed up a spillage from Breust, worked it forward in front of him, got down and spun out and away from Maginness and cleared it in a move that would have otherwise been fantastic, but no one was ahead of the ball. Fortunately, Blanck’s kick back into their 50 was a tumbler and Membrey and Steele helped clear it out, and Wood was there to take an important mark out wide. The Hawks weren’t quite done, but the game was. Breust had a chance to make it seven points with just over 30 seconds left but missed one you’d think he’d usually kick, and then Moore took a mark as the siren sounded, played on and bananaed the ball through for another goal that would have made it an even six points.

***

Heading into the wind that will blow 1st, 4th and 5th our way in the coming weeks, you’d hope the fade-out had more to do with a six-day turnaround off a trip to Perth than anything else. Our first consecutive wins since going fourth, sure, but much like the West Coast game, I don’t think we left the Concrete Dome feeling any better or worse about where this team is at.

As it did in 2021, the best and worst of this side again co-exists within games and within quarters. We thought we’d closed that gap in the first half of the year and decidedly found what this team was all about. The doom vignettes and the general pasting from the AFL commentariat over the previous several weeks had obviously weighed on Ratts. He went for it in the post-match: “Probably everyone who speaks about us speaks about half-empty, every time we speak to somebody, ‘we’re not going well, we don’t do this, we don’t do that’. We won the game of footy. Everyone can keep looking at how negative the Saints are and what the Saints are doing but we won a game of footy. So it would be nice for people to say yeah, ‘Well done’ for a change.” He suggested we’re an “easy target” too. That’s all well and good, and it’s great to have someone at the club standing up for the Saints with some aggression, but after Richmond storming home on Sunday, and given our respective fixtures our place in the eight is precarious. Right now it feels like a small tokenistic reward to say we’re good enough that you’re in the eight this late in the season. Use it as something to build on for next. Steele walked off with some silverware and the players with medallions, but that stuff’s not for right now.

They seem so very nice

Round 19, 2022
West Coast Eagles
3.3, 7.1, 9.2, 10.2 (62)
St Kilda
2.2, 9.5, 10.5, 14.6 (90)  
Crowd: 35,665 at Optus Stadium, Sunday, July 24th at 2.40pm AWST


St Kilda fell from irrelevancy to Moody Doom Vignette territory this week.

There was an absolute pasting from the footy world, collected and collated and packaged in multiple vignettes across Fox Footy landscape (i.e. On the Couch and multiple nights of 360).

BT said we were “bordering on putrid”. Garry Lyon called us an “all-talk footy club”, and asked if this group cared enough. “Sub-AFL standard” and “fraudulent”, said Kingy.

One team that isn’t going to win the premiership this year is St Kilda, Gerard and Robbo said with amusement. Jason Dunstall said we were “mind-blowingly poor”. “It’s fallen apart” for us, according to Joey. Nick called it a “passive effort”. Mike Sheahan was on 360 Extra and said the first 40 minutes of the previous Friday was “disgraceful” and “an indictment on the entire footy club”. On the same episode, Rooey again bought up “there’s trying and there’s really trying”. He said, “They’re not a dog-hungry group, it’s a nice group”. We’d gone from top four at the halfway mark of the season to “soul-searching”. “You can’t be held captive by talent,” Nick said. “St Kilda have got a lot of players that help you win by more, they don’t necessarily help you win.” Perhaps partly to that end, the club released the video of Brett Ratten’s post-match dressing down of the players as part of the “Uncut” series. Players weren’t telling each other that “that ain’t fucking good enough”. A nice group indeed. It was a massive week for feedback across the group, apparently, and big changes at the selection table were going to be made – or, at least with the caveat that guys would be on their last chance if they kept their spot. Zak Jones was the only one that really copped it – NWM was dropped too, but Ratts appeared to make a distinction during the week between guys really getting dropped and younger guys having natural fluctuations in form.

For a lot of fans we were really back to “just want to see effort” – and maybe Jack Steele giving it to everyone – but for what? So we can commendably finish 10th? Fuck that. It’s amazing how this season end up being so comparable to 2021 (just flip the order of the form). The first half of the season was about showing that we’d learned something from last year. We even had a new clash jumper and clash socks and everything.

It’s hard to really get up for another “defining encounter”, as the club site called it, when the team itself hasn’t really turned up for them for five of the past six weeks (comically so, too).

We were the “Saint Kilda Saints” this week, according to Optus Stadium’s social media team. Maybe a change in identity would help.

***

Bizarrely, we were only some Buddy-esque work from Jamarra on Saturday night from playing for eighth spot on Sunday. Depending on the Dogs as well, obviously, Richmond’s result against the Dockers might be the reason we make it or miss out. The Bizarro Rivalry Cold War rages on.

St Kilda made a statement by releasing the video during the week, according to West Coast and Adam Simpson, which I guess making a note of was a statement in itself. They were gonna be prepared for our guys to be yelling non-stop at each other for any vague blunder or non-committal contest. Maybe saying some really personal shit that would ruin each other’s day.

What we were met with was nothing really of the kind of uncompromising performance that we might expect from a team that’s on its way to doing anything serious at the business end of this year. There was no hammering of a team that might be at its lowest ebb in its 36 seasons. There was no teammates giving (demonstrative) instructive feedback. Within minutes this had the air of a late-season game between two teams with no business in September. After multiple turnovers in the middle last week, Brad Hill kicked it to an opponent in the middle of the ground. We were making a mockery of the model of efficiency we appeared to be in the first half of the season. Butler kicked it straight to a defender. There was no Jeremy McGovern but a lot of Tom Barrass, and repeated high kicks into the forward line allowed him to body up Max and take him out of the game. Edwards was the beneficiary a couple of times early took a couple of intercept marks; Max dropped one anyway when he actually did get into the right position and the delivery was to his advantage. A turnover the other way saw Seb find space in the middle and kick to Membrey who was outnumbered in a two-on-one.

The ground was in a real early-90s state after copping some decent rain and hosting Manchester United and Aston Villa on the Saturday (the ground were markings were still intrusively obvious). Snags ended up with some Moorabbin-esque mud across his jumper after getting a pretty lucky free kick within range, but he didn’t make the distance, and hit the post with another attempt soon after a rare measured kick forward.

Butler was the one who broke through for our first after making up for a bad kick to Gresham in board and snapping around on his left. It came from a good mark to Mason Wood in defence and the ball worked up with short passes in a rare display of cohesion. Our forward has not been OK for several weeks, like your futsal team is short and the entire forward line is just guys who played in the game before yours. Butler and Higgins were the two guys that Nick was prepared to say really needed to lift during the match preview on 360 Extra, while Grant Thomas went harder and said he was “stupefied & dumbfounded” about them having kept their spots. I’m not sure exactly how much Butler and Higgins and their positioning have to do with our forward structure – I’d say more than a bit – but they would be making (and mostly taking) their opportunities throughout this game. When Tim Membrey did it all himself out of a ruck contest in the forward pocket, Derm in special comments started talking about how this is a danger moment for the Eagles and that it could be five goals to nothing pretty soon. Perhaps that would be the kind of thing you’d expect from a team who had just had a soul-searching week and its season on the line, but those next three goals all went to the Eagles. The Eagles started working through the middle and goaled through uniquely haired Jake Waterman and with some assistance from the noise of affirmation working for Kennedy, and then Rotham, who of course had never kicked a goal in his career. It seemed to happen quickly; for all our possession domination – plus-30 for possession, 13 to seven inside 50s – we were behind.

The Barrass and King battle became all the more intriguing when they both claimed a mark that the umpire couldn’t pay to either and balled it up instead. Clark saved us up the other end with a contest in the air on Darling and then a contest down low on Ryan, but then gave away a free kick to Darling moments later only for Darling to casually miss from close range.

***

In the opening minutes of the second Max finally broke free of the Barrass brace and in one motion gathered the ball off the ground and snapped around the corner, followed by Snags kicking a goal, threatening a Max and Snags quarter as they had multiple times this season, beginning with the first Perth game. Max likes Optus Stadium, his last couple of appearances there have showed. But is Max too nice? (Do we have enough energy left for this season to care in the here and now?) Kennedy bobbed up as he always does against us and Rotham got a lucky free and, somehow, a second career goal for a Jimmy Webster retaliation, with the umpire conveniently missing Rotham’s high shove immediately before it. No noise of affirmation required.

Ball movement took a turn for the better around the time that Sharman (in defence) almost took mark of the year (as he’d almost done against the Swans). It was the kind of moment that qualified as a “highlight” in a game like this. Even as we started cutting through the middle and finding space going into 50 Gresham persisted with the screw kicks around his body and hit the post on the run; we got lucky ourselves when the umpire missed Membrey’s throw out of a tackle to Higgins who found Butler coasting past within close range. Byrnes did a 360 outside the arc and hit up King but he missed. We’d finally looked like players from the same team were out there in the forward line but had 1.2 from three good looks. As we’d done for Rotham, it was time to roll out the red carpet for unproven guys to make their mark. This time, Sharman spilled an entry in defence and second-gamer Jai Culley threw it on his boot and went over his head, and Liam Ryan took the mark and goaled. Bailey J. Williams took a great mark in the six-yard box too on his way to goaling and doubling his possession average for the season.

It was at about this point it became apparent something was going on with Marcus Windhager and Tim Kelly. The commentators started noting that Tim Kelly – who a few weeks earlier had amassed 40 touches against the Tigers – had hardly touched the ball. Windhager, who had the role on him, was on his way to finishing with a career-high 23 disposals and 570 metres gained, the most on the ground in a game in which fluid forward movement was at a premium. He bullocked his way through traffic on multiple occasions but the highlight might have been his centre bounce takeaway from Marshall’s ruckwork in the last moments of the quarter that brought Butler’s third goal on the half-time siren, closing out three goals in the last four minutes of play.

Max and Snags had just for into the game and we did end up with a Diet Lite Caffeine-Free Max and Snags quarter. Max took a great two-on-one mark at high half-forward and was on the move immediately; his awkward handball sat up in the turf nicely for Hunter and through Butler the ball found Snags close to goal. Rather than trying to kick the cover off it as he has done a few times this year, a went around the corner a neatly slotted it.

Jack Billings’ contribution had been to spend most of the first quarter trying to make up his mind whether or not he was injured. Ben Long came on and brought the forward pressure that had been missing in the previous few weeks and ran down Edwards, and from a tough shot just inside the boundary near 50 also went around the corner and kicked the goal. Marshall had channelled the sadly absent Paddy Ryder (who was perhaps at least wearing a St Kilda polo somewhere but he might have just been at home in casual clothes) with a tap over the shoulder to Steele, who worked off the tackler to tumble the ball forward. Max was first to it and gave off and the ball finished with Crouch adding a goal to his fantastic game in the clinches.

***

Jack Steele minted himself as captain (all over again) with a career-best 40 touches, to go with 11 clearances and eight tackles. Fifteen of those touches came in the third quarter when we really needed someone to stand up. That was a player who took everything that was said in the post-match and during the week really fucking seriously, willing himself to doing things – at least on paper – that he hadn’t done before. To draw from Garry Lyon’s comments, he’s one that can’t be described as an all-talk player. Crouch went with him and finished with 31 touches and 11 tackles. Seb was doing a little more 2022 Seb stuff, and Sinclair put forward another case for All Australian (for whatever you think that’s worth; either way it meant he played very well again). Of course, Windhager missed out on the Rising Star nomination because Jamarra happened to pull out five goals against the premiership favourites the night before. Marshall – named perhaps or perhaps not pointedly in Ratten’s video of examples of what he wanted from the players – won 49 hit-outs and did some very nice work as the extra midfielder. No one was “bad”, really; I’m just not sure if this was the whole-team response you get from a side that will recapture top-four form.

***

A good part of that second quarter was the work without the ball. We pushed hard across the ground to shut down the Eagles’ space when they had the ball at half-back. We needed that kind of effort in the back half during the third because our forward structure broke down again and the Eagles had it their way. Things were looking shakey again. Shuey had looked like he was with a shoulder in the first half but then appeared to finish Webster’s day with his shoulder. The Eagles dominated possession and territory and finally broke through with a goal 13 minutes in. Webster had saved one with a tackle on Kennedy in the pocket while Darling was waiting on his own in the goal square, but Sinclair’s rushed kick came back immediately and found Darling, who hadn’t moved. Another kick came into full forward to Darling on the lead a couple of minutes later and we looked like were about to crack. They finished with 20 inside 50s for the quarter but only scored 2.1. We cut through the other way with just over five minutes left in the quarter thanks to Max marking and playing on again at half forward, but he poked it to 15 out where Higgins played for the free and then immediately decided to stop playing for the free, grab the ball on the ground and dish off to Membrey, who was good enough around the corner. We’d seemed to have halted the momentum but the lead was only nine points, and we’d only scraped together all of 1.0.

***

So what happens if we really fucking shat it from here? Dropping another game to a lowly team with all of two wins. After all the talk this week, what happens then? What else can Ratten say and what other video can the club release? Who goes out? Who comes in? This season’s drop-off in form happened at the same time at Sandringham too, and they’d been pantsed by Eli Templeton’s struggling standalone Port Melbourne earlier on Sunday. Not sure what’s going on there, but the rot’s been happening across the whole club. It appears it’s time to Break the Dan Hannebery Glass In Case of Heading Towards Middle of the Ladder Late-in-Season Emergency for a fourth consecutive year.

There were some “almost” moments in the final term on the way to grinding out a win that similar to the third quarter saw no team score a goal for a long time. Gresham had a mid-air shot in the square in a move that was 20 hours too late; Wilkie – the one player who came out of that mid-week video better than anyone else – looked to go through the middle for a counterattack but got chopped off, and then finally Higgins didn’t get enough of it in the forward line, but Membrey found it, kicked to the top of square and Max finally worked off Barrass and finished the play.

That passage had started with Sinclair falling over at half-back on the sloppy turf and ended with Barrass on his backside, and players slipping onto their arse was a feature in all of St Kilda’s goals that ultimately finished the game. Mason Wood has had some good and bad moments in his time as a Saint, but I feel like this year there’s been some really good ones. He combining both in the game breaker with just over five minutes left that again saw Snags and Max both involved; Snags worked up to the defensive side of the wing as we came off half-back after Cooper Sharman played goal keeper on the line (the line of the traditional Australian Rules type; also I didn’t think I’d be typing “Cooper Sharman played goal keeper” this year), and Hill – involved on the wing in several chains – hit up Max. The 50 was open and he went long to the goal side of Wood who ran onto the ball, tried wheeling around Bazzo and slipped over, but got back up quickly enough to get a snap kick in before Witherden came across his boot. The ball bounced kindly.

Steele and Windhager won the ball from a centre wing throw-in and the Eagles defenders were forced to move quickly with the clock against them. A few Eagles traded handballs looking for a clean exit and this time it was Redden who hit the deck; Windhager had kept running and intercepted his handball and delivered to Butler on his own on the goal line for the sealer. Somehow, the score line was the same as Dogs disaster the week before.

There was an intermission for a Jai Culley goal before Barrass became the last to go down (again), caught out by arguably our slickest chain of possession (albeit through a very tired Eagles defence), which started from a rushed Steele kick off half-back for number 40 for the first time in his career (Lienert has won the hit-out, of course), before Ross ran and handballed to Sinclair, who ran and handballed to Byrnes, to Hill, and his tumbling kick sent Barrass the wrong way and Butler strolled in for his fifth goal – also for the first time in his career. By day’s end a big chunk of the goals had echoed the Saints of 2020 – a lot from close range, a lot featuring Butler.

***

So there it was, our first win over the Eagles in Perth since a grinding Nick Riewoldt-less win in 2010 that set off a winning streak of seven that set up our tilt at September (which ran into October), and our first dual wins in Perth since that same year – we also outlasted Freo in that streak at Subiaco just a few weeks later.

No vignettes this week. We’re not good, we’re not bad. We’ve just taken a small step back up and slightly sideways from the moody doom vignette editors’ suite into mid-ladder irrelevancy. The final minutes of the Carlton win were gripping as they were the difference between a (brief) re-entry into Maybe We’re Good territory and a season plunging into freefall. The season hit freefall over the next couple of weeks anyway, and the final minutes of Sunday were not gripping. “Mason Wood produces a bit of brilliance!” Adam Papalia exclaimed when the game-breaker bounced through. It wasn’t joy. It wasn’t quite relief. It looks like for another year they’re going to drag us all the way. Not many ladder predictions will have us near September. Sunday was a warm late July day in Melbourne. Perhaps the first sign that changes in the weather are ahead, that we’ve been through the absolute depths of winter, and that the end is in sight.

One month to go.